This page and the pages on the main site are principally for men and women who are gay, lesbian or bisexual and married to (or in a relationship with) someone of the opposite sex, and for their spouses, partners or girlfriends (or boyfriends) to help them to understand what might be going on, typically same sex attractions and mixed orientation relationships or marriage.

Visitors to this site may not appreciate that this is a resource site ...... it is not a site where you can communicate directly with others, with the exception of the author ............ if you need to compare notes with other people in the same situation, please refer to the links page, which may be able to help you ........................      It has been decided to extend the present questionnaires for an indefinite period............This is because responses are still coming and also, unexpected feedback shows that people find them helpful, even "life saving" when thinking about their current situations or in crisis.................

How often has it been said ......

"He can't be gay, he is married!"?

...... You would be surprised!

Or would you?

Or is it a matter of "She can't be lesbian, she is married!"?

The chances are that if you are reading this page, you are either gay, lesbian or bisexual and possibly married also, or in a relationship with such a person.

No one knows the statistics of marriages where one partner or the other is gay, but it is suspected that it happens far more frequently than society would lead us to believe. In the majority of cases, the straight spouse might be totally unaware of the true sexuality of their partner. When and if they discover the whole truth, it can be devastating, often leading to the break up of the marriage. But in some cases, particularly where the relationship between spouses is strong, the marriage can survive, although it is believed that only about 20 or 25% do survive which makes depressing reading.

There are marriages where one partner knew about the sexuality of the other partner before marriage took place. Whereas the partners have been more honest with each other, that is not to say that the marriage will be any more successful than ones where the partners have been less honest with each other.

These pages are to enable those involved to realize that they are not freaks or in a freak situation.

They are to enable them to realize that they are not alone.

They are to help them to come to terms with where they are......