As if you wanted more ... some random facts and dispelling the myths Well, I was just going to leave this for a while. After all, I'm not really sure why I would matter more than anyone else in this journal. I guess I AM the journaler, so there might be a little more interest in why what goes on in my head goes on.
I was born Krista Lin on April 19, 1980 in Bozeman, Montana. I grew up all over the state of Montana (we moved a lot in my early childhood), until we settled on Kalispell in the early 90s. Kalispell, while one of the most beautiful places on earth, was not an easy place to grow up. With my long white hair (before it turned red) and big blue eyes hidden by thick glasses, I stood out. My early years were spent being the short, ugly, smart, fat girl with glasses. Eseentially, I was the female version of Charlie Brown, except I didn't even have a dog. I ended up finding solace in books, as I learned how to read at 3 years old and have never really stopped. My mother was worried, when I was in 4th grade, that I was using books to escape life. My response? "Of course I'm escaping my life -- now give me back my book."
Honesty isn't always the best policy, as I soon learned.
In middle school and early high school, I was a very angry and depressed girl. I didn't care about anything, as nothing ever really showed extreme care about me. Don't get me wrong, my future psychologist can't blame all of this on my family life - in that respect, I actually had a very happy childhood. It was everything else that messed me up for the rest of my life - you get called ugly and fat enough times and it starts to work it's way in. You figure, hey ... everyone else seems to see it. It must be true.
After years of anger and depression and becoming a person that I'm not very proud of having been, I finally woke up. I looked up one day at my "friends" and the things I was doing and said ... screw this. I'm better that this crap. That was the beginning of the recovery. That's not to say that my depression disappeared or that my self-esteem was restored. I still struggle with both to this day, but ... it started getting better.
One of the best things to happen to me was leaving Kalispell for college. I'm in my second year at Gonzaga University and I'm starting to regain some semblance of a stable life ... and I'm pretty excited about it. I can't imagine living a life where I'm not depressed or self-conscious or self-doubting, but I'm starting to realise that there IS such a life. And that's a good thing.
You really want more?