Note: The rules listed here (but not the following explanations) are taken from "The Known World Handbook; Courtesy and Etiquette In the Current Middle Ages" by Mistress Diana Listmaker, and used by gracious permission. The entire Known World Handbook is copyright by The Society for Creative Anachronism, Inc. and is available from SCA Marketplace, P.O. Box 360789, Milpitas, California 95036-0789.
The SCA is founded around an idea of medieval chivalry and civility. The whole idea cannot be related in a page like this, but here are the basic ideas. When at an SCA event, all persons are expected to abide by these ideals. If you attend an event, you may be surprised, or even confused, by this behavior toward you, but don't be. If you know or work with someone who is charmingly, or even irritatingly, honest and chivalrous, they may be a long-time SCA member who has had these ideals bleed over into their everyday lives... Here are the basics:
1. Treat your inferiors as equals, your equals as superiors, officers as representatives of the King and Queen, and the King and Queen with reverence due your sovereigns - This is simple politeness, and requires no explanation.
2. Use medieval forms of address - Refer to people by their Society name or rank. In the middle ages, even family members referred to each other formally; nicknames were for peasants. If you do not know their name or rank, refer to them as M'Lord or M'Lady.
3. Be faithful to your word - People of honor do not lie. In the old days, a man's word was his bond, and if we are to deal with each other productively, we must be able to trust each other. And do not gossip; if you are tempted to say something about a person that you would not say to that person's face, don't say it to anyone else.
4. Gentlemen, honor all ladies - Gentlemen and ladies should act the part, especially in their relations to each other. If a gentleman sees a lady carring a tourney chest, he should offer help. Open doors, stand when a lady enters, hold chairs. It all seems kind of old-fashioned, but a lady is a lady. (Treat your own lady like this, and you may be most gratified by the results..) It also applies to any lady, whether you know her or not. If a lady is struggling a basket into the feast hall, get your chivalrous behind over there and help her!
5. Ladies, remain worthy of all honor - The lady, of course, has an obligation to make herself a fit object of respect and adoration. Be gentle, and honorable. Don't blow off compliments from a gentleman; you may not think your hair looks like gold, but why question his judgement? Thank him for his courtesy, and enjoy the treatment. Warning: If you act like a peasant wench, expect to be treated like one...
6. Touch no man's goods unasked; give and receive with grace - Don't just wander into someone's tent or pavilion; you wouldn't just walk into their house. If hospitality is extended, don't abuse it; take if offered, and thank the giver. NEVER touch anyone's armor or weapon. If you need something, ask politely, and thank the giver. Give graciously, and indicate that you are honored to be of service. Even if a request to you is rude, respond graciously, and you may startle or shame someone into better manners. Care for the goods of others as if they were your own.
7. Be gentle to the stranger - Watch for new members, or people in street clothes who simply wander onto the site. Answer any question, or refer them to the senechal. If you come onto site, for instance, with a Coke in a styrofoam cup, you may be approached by a gentle who will ask "M'Lord, may I assist you in finding a mug?" This is not an angry reproach, merely a hint that your styrofoam cup is not appropriate, and they are not kidding; they *will* help to find you an appropriate mug, or even loan you theirs. People in street clothes will occasionally simply wander onto the site, wanting to know what the heck is going on. Explain it to them courteously, introduce them to the senechal or royalty, and make them feel welcome.
8. Raise your sword, but not your voice - Courtesy is neccesary in life, and in the Society. It has been said that "an armed society is a polite society", and such applies. There is no place for raised voices or insulting language, save in the formal context of the lists. If you openly and maliciously insult a lady, she may refer the matter to her champion, and you may find yourself surrounded by a dozen armored fighters waiting to hear your humble apology to the lady. And of course, some ladies in the SCA are fighters and live weapons experts; be careful... If you maliciously insult a gentleman, the results may be unpredictable, and you won't like it...
9. Let the slain man say if he be slain - Fighters are assumed to be honorable people, and only the fighters can judge the force and location of a blow. Never shout comments from the sideline; not even marshalls are allowed that. If a fighter receives a killing blow, the fighter will call it.
10. Reverance the King and Queen - all rules of courtesy are amplified as applied to rulers. Bow or curtsey when passing in front of a ruler, and do not speak to them unless spoken to. In many kingdoms, there is a protected zone around rulers, a kind of "personal space"; don't violate it. And don't worry, it won't go to their heads; royalty changes every six months, and in a few months, this king will be back in the crowd with you, bowing to the next king...