today was a bad day.
The sun was shining
the temperature was mild enough
that a breeze wasn't too chilly.
I skipped from shadow to shadow,
and laid in bed,wearing my black
hiding from you
and your hurt.
And I thought
about you and your life
and I doubted you even missed me
or realized how much
you crushed my world
with one swift word.
And I cried
and then finally climbed out of bed.
I skipped from shadow to shadow,
my eyes glued to the floor
wearing your black sweatshirt,
afraid to see you
lest you claim that back as well.
The counselor said I was
depressed
I think she may be right,
but the pills aren't for me
because I'm stubborn and arrogant.
I try to overcome all this myself.
but as I was trudging my way to Pratt
with a piano book tucked under my arms,
I thought about you again,
wondering how you felt
wondering if you got that job
and wanting to see your film.
I shouldn't think about you
and how I can't stop loving you
because then I know you control me.
I should never bother ever
saying those words to you
because they mean
as much as any other word I say:
nothing.