Change
If no one will love me for who I truly am -- they try to change me into something else, then this will make me question why I choose to be who I am. I will hate who I am and thus will change into something more "acceptable" or "suitable" for whatever waits out there. If I allow someone to change me into something they can learn to love, I would hate myself for who I was and feel as though I would have to change -- to deviate from my norm to be lovable. I would therefore hate what I became out of some feeling of rebellion.
It has taken quite some time to come to this conclusion, but at last it is revealed. I have come to believe something is wrong with me. I sometimes doubt there will be a person who will stick with me. That one perfect being who adores everything. There's nothing to change, no severe compatibility issues...just perfect. Everyone is happy. A fantasy that although I am so young with over a half a century ahead of me leaves a hole in my heart and thinking of the days, years, and minutes I have to spend with myself scares me into a stupor. It scares me to the point where I can't sleep at night and all I can think about are my mistakes and my heartbreaking loss(es) as a result. Is change worth it? But what's the point in being happy with someone when you don't like yourself -- like being yourself -- like what you've changed yourself (or had someone else change you) into...or would you rather live your life alone feeling as though there's nothing waiting for you out there because there's just something about you that no one can love?