My classmates
My Saint Louis classmates were not very nice, because they were too rude and naughty, and they liked playing meaningless and dirty
jokes on me. Since I didn’t speak and listen to English well, they liked fooling me like a doll. They would ask me some questions that I
could not understand sometimes, and these questions were very bad and meaningless, such as something related to erotic stuff. When I
answered their questions without fully understanding, I could only answer "Yes" or "No". Sometimes my answer could not satisfy their
wants, they would just call me a stupid. These questions were traps sometimes, so when I answered wrongly, I was fully humiliated,
then I lost my reputation and dignity. I felt that I was teased and bullied, and my vulnerable heart was hurt easily. Because of the guys
who teased me, I started to have a bad attitude and prejudice on Americans, because they let me think Americans were weird, crazy and
insane, so I worried about my future development in America.
 Making friends was a difficult task for me in Saint Louis School. I regarded all my classmates dangerous because most of them like
fooling me. When I didn’t like to make friends with them, the result was that I felt extremely lonely and upset. I only knew few good
classmates in school, and they were more polite and mature, but they had never become my close friend, because I only talked with
them for a while in class or just said "Hi" and "What’s up?" when I met them at the corridor in school. No student in Saint Louis could
give me a sense of security. Without any good friends, I was totally isolated, and I was a stranger in the eyes of my schoolmates, when
they were the strangers in my eyes.
I didn’t like the attitudes of my classmates because they were very lazy, and they could not help me on studying. They only liked fooling
around all the time. The learning environment was very bad for me, because some of my classmates never paid attention in class, and
they would interrupt the class too, so I could not concentrate on my work. Although I worked hard, nobody would appreciate what I did,
because they only thought I was foolish to be hardworking. I didn’t know why they had this strange lazy attitude. I lost my studying
morale when most of the students didn’t notice school work.
My classmates knew that I lived by myself, so they always told me to have a party everyday; however, none of them could understand
my situation. I hated them to tell me to do that, because I didn’t want to have any party at home, and my tough life didn’t allow me to
do that. One thing was more important, when they told me to have some parties at home, I would think of my family and friends in
Hong Kong immediately, and it just made me sad, because I missed the happy moment with them.

The most upset experiences- my bag was stolen
 There was a terrible event which drove me miserable, and it was really the worst thing that happened on me in life in Saint Louis
School.
 My bag was stolen by someone in the school library in October 1997, my third month in Saint Louis School. Until now, I still didn’t
know why someone stole my bag. Inside the bag, there were some memorable pens and important notes. I wanted to kill the thief
because the pens were given by my dear uncle. The school didn’t offer me enough help to find the bag, and I was very angry about that.
I remembered I was very upset when I went back home, because I missed my valuable belongings very much, especially those pens and
pencil case, because they were my 13th birthday presents. The notes inside my bag were very important for my upcoming quiz, so it
made me worried. I was extremely sad, and I had no mood to study for a whole week. I wanted to cry, but tears just could not come out
from my eyes, and it was more terrible than crying aloud. When I was so upset, nobody knew…….
After this event, I regarded all the naughty students in the school as thieves, because I never knew who stole my bag. Moreover, I would
check my locker was locked completely or not all the time. I knew that I had locked my stuffs well, but, sometimes, I would go near my
locker and double check or triple check by touching my lock. Besides that, I watched my belonging carefully whenever I went to the
library. My actions to prevent someone stealing my things just made me stressed and nervous.

The most upset experiences- Physics class
My physics class in junior year was a hell. In this class, I faced the problem of racism, and I never thought of it before coming to Hawaii,
because my parents told me that Hawaii was a very peaceful place with multiethnic. It was extremely terrible, because I, a Chinese, was
discriminated by a local Chinese in this class, and it was more terrible. I hated Physics class and the terrible students in this class very
much, because those students always teased me.
I could never forget this lousy bastard, Gavin Wong. He treated some students from China, Hong Kong and Taiwan as inferiors. He
didn’t show respect to us. For example, he would speak some bad English purposely to insult us that we could not speak English.  He
was very impolite to me too. When I asked him some questions about homework, he was not willing to help me, and he would tell me to
take care my own business. Physics was a very difficult subject for me, and when I did something wrong or could not follow the
instructions of the teacher, Gavin Wong would say I was a stupid. He always said Chinese were bad and disgusting. I wonder why a
Chinese would say Chinese disgusting?? Are there any differences between local Chinese and the Chinese from Hong Kong or China?
Since I sat near Gavin Wong, he would always ask me some stupid questions, and these questions were traps, then I would be humiliated
and laughed by other classmates easily. Because of that, I was very stressed and afraid during physics class. I worried that I would be
insulted by Gavin Wong and the classmates in this class completely one day. No one cared my sad feeling in this class, including my
teacher Mr. O’ Connor. He was not aware of the things that happened on me, and what he did in class was to teach us Physics.
Sometimes I would complain to him, but he would tell me to regard my classmate idiots would be the best solution. It was really not a
concrete answer for me. I hold all the anger inside my heart whenever I was insulted, could you imagine how distressed I was?

Communication
 I found difficulty in common communication, because I didn’t know the slang and friendly body language well. For example, "Shaka". I
thought it was an unfriendly signal, and I thought it related to Satan before someone explained it to me. I misunderstood "Shaka" because
"Shaka" signal was a number six in my mind. Chinese used a signal like "Shaka" when they wanted to show number six. Number six is
nothing special actually. However, my locker number in my junior year was 666, so I guessed somebody knew my locker number,  then
they shook their hands and did "Shaka" like number six on me to say that I was Satan. I didn’t understand this signal was based on
cultural differences. When I thought about this miscommunication again, I just felt that I was too foolish at that time.
I felt upset due to the language barriers, because I always misunderstood what my classmates and teachers said to me, and sometimes I
could not follow the instructions of the teachers well, then I did my homework wrongly. My classmates from Hong Kong could speak
comprehensive English in class, and it really put pressure on me too. I always asked myself why I could not speak well like they. Some
local classmates laughed at my Spoken English, and when I had strong dignity and pride, I felt that I was so useless. I didn’t want people
to laugh at me, so I chose not to say a word sometimes. I knew it was a very poor attitude, but I just could not prevent to do that. I lost
my confidence when I failed to communicate with other people well.

Learning Difficulties
The education system of Hong Kong and America was not similar to each other, so I had a hard time on Studying. I didn’t have to read
a lot when I was in Hong Kong, so I had difficulties on studying in Hawaii because I had lots of reading assignments for my English class
and U.S. History class. After reading a whole chapter in a short fiction, I still didn’t understand the story, so I thought that I looked at the
book without reading. The words in the story were extremely difficult, and I never saw these difficult words before. I had to waste lots
of time to look up my dictionary to find out the meanings of those words frequently, and I would forget those words easily time after
time.
My reading speed was terribly slow. I could tell you that I need to spend about two hours to read fifteen to twenty pages sometimes. As
a result, it really made me stressed, because I had so many things to read and I was afraid I would be behind if I could not catch up.

My changes and what have I learned in this 2 years
In this two years, I was living under pressure, because I needed to face my bad classmates and difficult reading assignments by myself
everyday. I didn’t know what would happen to me when I woke up in the morning. I was afraid that I would be insulted by my
classmates again.
I had a dual characters. I could be extremely cheerful or extremely silent. My bad mood in this two years shadowed my lively and
talkative side but only showed my timid, introverted, pessimistic and silent side.
 It seemed that Saint Louis School gave nothing to me, and I didn’t like this school. However, forgetting all my sadness, I still gained
something..
Since I didn’t have any close friends in Honolulu, I felt very upset and pessimistic in this two years. Looking back my old days in Hong
Kong, I was so happy all the time, because I was studying with my friends. Although what I learned in Hong Kong was very difficult, but
my friends would consult and solve the problems with me together. I had no morale to work when I was alone in Hawaii. Because of my
lonely experience, I knew that my friends in Hong Kong were very important to me because they brought me happiness and working
momentum. Without them, I had lost my spirit to work already, so I became more aware of our friendship.
I also knew that reading was very important, because we would know the subjects and the topics clearly by reading textbook. Studying
the notes given by teachers without reading textbooks before tests or exams was not good for students, but it had become the tradition in
Hong Kong because students thought reading textbook was useless, and they thought the notes were the "answers" for the tests or
exams.
Reading novels would enrich our knowledge on vocabulary, and it helped us to think and imagine. Hong Kong education system
indirectly discouraged the students to read, since the teachers in Hong Kong only gave tons of  tests and exams to their students. The
teachers thought the students would do well for the public exam in Hong Kong after doing tons of tests and exams in school. The
students neglected reading finally, because they only put their time on studying their tests and exams, and they would never have time to
read novels or extracurricular books. Students in Hong Kong didn’t know the advantages of reading extracurricular books because what
they knew was facing exams. I read slowly nowadays, should I blame myself or the Hong Kong education system? I knew the
advantages of reading despite I found hard on it. We could gain real knowledge by reading books thoroughly.
The most important lesson I had learned from Saint Louis School was I knew the world was very big, and people were different in
everywhere, especially the living styles and cultures, and I could not expect all the people would treat me well all the time. The world is a
terrible place to live. It encouraged me to learn how to overcome the problems in front of me; moreover, I learned that I should try to
live in different place, and it would make me tough, independent and decisive. I knew I was still young, facing troubles was necessary in
human life, and I just could not prevent. If I failed to ease my troubles, I would never be a successful person.
  After my graduation from Saint Louis, my mood was getting better, because all my stresses in High School had been cleared. So, I am
looking for another new start right now. All the dark clouds over my head would fade away completely soon, and the sunshine would
shine at me with laughter forever. It is my hope.