Hee hee, here we go, finally a not so serious fic by me. I give me thanks to me matey Jason for supporting this idea. (even though he may be the only one who likes it) for those who dislike pirates don't bother reading it ,ne? -_^
Tales of the High Sea
Captain Aya the Red lifted a knee-high booted leg (abundant with straps) and stomped his foot down on the cargo that lay aboard his ship. He lifted a hand to his oversized Captains hat, straightening the long feather that stuck out from the side then straightened the frilly ruffles of his starched white shirt. He took a deep breathe admiring all the stolen loot he had just picked up from the unsuspecting tiny island.
The day was a glorious one, filled with a bright sun and the spray of the ocean. Yes, indeed, a good day to loot small unsuspecting villages. Of course he would leave all the innocents alone but their treasure was his…well his and his crew of course.
Suddenly a small blue monkey skittered across the deck, pausing to stare at Aya, then scampered below deck.
"Aoi…..saru….?"
A most perplexed expression crossed Aya's face before he replaced it with his usual grimness, then he cleared his throat.
" First mate Yoji the Playboy! Come here at once, before I feed you to the fishes, ye scandalous scalawag!!" Captain Aya thought for a moment then added, " Arrrr…"
From below decks sauntered First mate Yoji, dressed in loose gray pants and an open black vest. His black boots clicked slightly as he made his way over to his Captain. Even this fic couldn't rid him of his black tinted sunglasses and a cigarette hanging from his lips.
He stopped just before Aya, adjusting the leather cord that held back his hair, and let out a puff of smoke, looking over his sunglasses at the absurdly dressed red head.
" You ' Arrred' at me, Captain?"
Aya puffed out his chest a little. " I did, ye pribbing varlot! How did the looting go?"
Yoji flicked the ashes off his cigarette. " Could have been better." He added in a miffed tone. " There weren't any young women! For cryin' out loud, you would think an island would have SOME women over eighteen."
Aya nodded his approvel and turned his head back to the sea, striking a pose. Yoji lifted an eyebrow.
"Is there any reason your doing that?"
Captain Aya turned and gave him the Look of Death™ and Yoji shrugged, walking away to inspect something else.
"Haaaaardy haaar haar!! Captain! I be havin' the next sea port we be lootin'! arrrr..aarr…"
A dark haired boy marched on deck, also dressed in gray pants that were ripped at the bottom and a white shirt. A darker shirt was wrapped around his waist.
" Aaah, Fire Tempered Ken! Bring me the map!!"
"Aye, Captain!" Ken then turned and yelled, " ARRRR! Cabin Boy! Bring the map, ye artless, dog-hearted lout!
From below decks scuffled a small blonde boy, dragging a bucket of water in one hand and a rolled up map in another. An extremely miffed expression graced his face as he handed the map to Ken.
" Good, Cabin Boy Omi! Now, go wash the decks!"
Omi's big blue eyes widened with a sudden flash of anger.
" I don't see why I have to-"
" Silence! Do as I say!" Bellowed Aya the Red. He paused then added, " Arrr…"
Omi muttered and grumbled as he pulled the scrub out of the bucket and wandered away.
" What was that, Cabin Boy?"
" Yes, Captain. Arrr…arrr…"
Captain Aya, again, nodded his approval and went back to watching the sea.
Cabin Boy Omi scrubbed at the floor boards , grumbling about how he did all the hard work when suddenly a small blue monkey scampered up to him and gazed at him for a moment then ran away and disappeared around the ship.
" Aoi….saru…?" Omi muttered to himself, pausing in his work.
Then the Cabin Boy had no more time to ponder for then came a booming sound, and a cannon ball whizzed over the ship and landed in the water, several yards away.
" By the bottom of a foul-covered barrel o' bad rum! What was that?" Yelled the Captain.
Yoji put his hand up to his eyes and peered over the water. They had been drifting near the seaport that was their next target when suddenly another ship appeared almost out of nowhere.
"Heh, looks like we have company. Wonder if there's any women aboard…"
Captain Aya leapt from his perch and drew his sword. " Then to arms, ye beslubbering barnacles!! No one attacks Aya the Red and gets away with it!"
All of Captain Aya's men suddenly appeared, drawing weapons and yelling loud, colorful curses as only pirates are able to. Yoji, Ken and Omi drifted near the Captain, their own swords drawn, watching the other ship approach. Captain Aya raised his sword.
"Prepare to be boarded!"
As the ship drew nearer the four pirates could make out the details of the other ship, a large black flag with an embroidered 'S' on the front could be seen.
The other ship had dozens of pirates as well, but four stood out above the rest. What looked to be the Captain stood with his arms crossed. Short black hair, and wire framed glasses cast a glare that made him seem all the more evil. He wore a white shirt with a dark navy vest over it.
His First mate stood with his arms crossed over the side of the boat, in an almost lazy manner. His long red hair tied back and a bandana covered the top of his head. He wore an open vest and wore boots much like Captain Aya's. A saber hung loosely at his side and a most unnerving smile spread across his face.
The one beside him frightened Cabin Boy Omi. Besides the deranged, scary look on his face he was covered in knives and swords and wore a black patch, covering one of his eyes. His hair seemed like it was cut with a dull object and stuck out in all sorts of different directions. This scary man caught Omi's eye and slowly licked one of his blades.
The one besides the Captain made Yoji the Playboy take a second look. For a moment he could have sworn that the petite boy was a pretty girl, but the open shirt revealed a bare chest void of any hair. So a young boy after all. He looked away at something else, seemingly not interested in what was happening.
The red head straightened and waved. " Yo! Seems you've drifted into our waters! I'm afraid we'll have to kill you now." The red head looked thoughtful for a moment then said, " Oh yea, arrrr and such."
With a loud war cry, sounding much like the highly popular television series heroine Xena, the man covered in knives leapt across the ships, starting the attack.
" Do not fear these bootless, sheep-biting puttocks! You are men of the fierce Aya the Red! Onward to glory!!"
Yoji paused for a moment and cocked his head to the side, looking at his Captain.
"What the heck is a 'puttock'?"
Aya faltered for a moment then quickly replied with a hearty, "AAARRRRR..!!"
Suddenly the two ships were filled with the 'clangs' of swords and shouts and curses of many a pirate. Captain Aya had been doing well holding off ten men at a time, shouting witty insults all the while, when suddenly the First mate of his enemy ship appeared out of nowhere and swung his sword at him. Captain Aya raised his own sword and met him, sparks flying.
Suddenly out of the midst of the battle came a small blue monkey, pausing in the middle of Captain Aya and the First mate. All was quiet for a moment while all around them glanced at the little blue creature.
" Aoi….saru….?", was murmured by Aya and the First mate.
The little creature squeaked angrily at all the commotion then, again, disappeared through the thick crowd of pirates.
The fight immediately resumed, angry 'arrrs' and curses barely heard through all the commotion when suddenly another ship appeared! The hull of it rammed into Captain Aya's ship, jarring all of the pirates. Captain Aya and his mate's looked over, startled by the sudden appearance. From the ship emerged dozens and dozens of…"Could it be?", Thought Yoji. School girls! Dozens of school girls storming Captain Aya's ship. Suddenly Yoji and Aya found themselves surrounded, hands grabbing them and pulling them away. Captain Aya let out a loud angry squawk. " Unhand me, ye mewling, earth-vexing landlubbers! I am Aya the Red! I will not be taken so easily!"
Yet the Captain disappeared in the crowd of young school girls all yelling and squealing, "Aya-kun!" and such. Yoji merely whimpered and allowed himself to be taken.
Omi and Ken realized they had a problem, while fighting off the never-ending bad guys. Mainly the scary knife man. Aya and Yoji had been taken away! What were they to do!
Omi had been backed into a corner of the ship, his breath coming in short gasps and he lifted his sword to block another attack. Suddenly the floor boards burst up in an explosion of splintered wood. Omi looked up with an expression
' huh'?
Out of nowhere emerged a giant Venus flytrap, opening it's huge mouth and swallowing little Omi-kun whole then disappearing the way it came.
Ken barely had time to realize that he was alone when out of the sky a huge shadow engulfed his body. He looked up to see that the enemies he had been fighting had backed away and were looking up with awed expressions. He had a sudden sinking feeling but was cut short as a huge soccer ball fell from the sky and crushed Ken.
The Schwartz looked about them in bewilderment as they realized that their enemy had been taken away. They stood for a moment, blinking then shrugged and hopped back aboard their boat sailing off into the sunset in search of new places to loot.
-END-
*::laughs madly:: see what happens with a lot of sugar and not enough sleep? Didn't expect me to kill em' off eh? Well I had fun writing this, I hope at least SOME of you got a laugh out of it. Oh and special thanks to Jason-kun for lending me some of those great pirate comments and ideas.
Pretty good, ne? It's one of the High Priestess' favorites!
*pauses for a moment, and then...* Aaaarrrrrr!!!!