Simply an Illusion


Beware! If male/male scenes make you uncomfortable, go back. This is a yaoi fic, but it's a non-lemon one. Enjoy!

Disclaimer. FY belongs to Watase-sama, Bandai, Tokyo Television, Flower Comics, Pioneer, and many others. No infringment was intended in the writing of this fic. I'm not making any money off this anyways!


Chuin opened his eyes. Was it morning already? He sat up and rubbed his eyes. *Time to get myself made up*, he thought, then looking down at himself, *and dressed*. The clothes were the ones he always wore to bed. A simple, white shirt, that was unbelted, and a pair of dark breeches, all threadbare, but in decent condition. He just didn't have the money to buy new ones. Most of his money went to keep him supplied in opera make up and the maintanence of his costume. Actually, he didn't care what his bed clothes looked like, as long as they didn't get to the point of needing patches.

The ground felt cold to his bare feet as he walked to the small chair and table where he kept his opera make-up. He always put his make-up on before his costume. That way he wouldn't have to look at his face for too long. He never liked looking at himself without the make-up on. With it on, he became someone else. He wasn't Chuin, an unwanted, pathetic, and even a little frightened, nobody. Instead, he was Tomo, Seiryuu Seishi, noticed and feared. He felt more powerful with it on.

He brushed his long hair, enjoying how it felt. Pulling back his hair, he tied it up into a ponytail, making sure there was a lock of hair on either side of his face. "Tomo?" Without thinking, Chuin turned towards the voice. Standing in the doorflap was Suboshi, staring at him. Chuin always thought the twins were good looking boys, but children weren't his style. He preferred older men. After a moment, the youth said, "um, sorry. I must have the wrong tent."

"What do you want, Suboshi?" Suboshi looked closer at Chuin, shocked at what he saw. Chuin had forgotten for a moment that he didn't have his make-up on yet. He turned his back to Suboshi and growled, "what do you want?"

Suboshi snapped out of his shocked state. He stammered, "uh...ummmm...ah, Nakago-sama wants to see you."

Chuin gasped. "See me?? But I'm not ready yet! Tell him I'll be there in a half-hour." Chuin started fumbling through his make-up cases. "I'll be there as soon as I'm dressed and ready."

"But Nakago-sama says he wants to see you, now!"

"But I can't go now," Chuin whined. He caught his reflection in the small mirror he had on his table. *I can't let him see me like this*, he thought.

Suboshi walked up next to Chuin and leaned close. "You should know not to go against Nakago-sama's request. You don't want to make him angry, do you?"

Chuin shuddered. As much as he was in love with Nakago, he was equally frightened of him. He had to go, but how could he let Nakago see him when he wasn't dressed or even had his make-up on?? Still, he knew better than to rouse Nakago's anger. He had seen what happened to those who didn't obey. He had to obey.

He stood up quickly, and hurried to the doorflap. He didn't even take the time to put his boots on. Chuin rushed outside and across the compound. Thankfully, it was still very early and no one was up yet. He'd rather die than to have anyone see him like that. He reached Nakago's tent and paused outside the doorflap. He sent a quick, silent prayer to Seiryuu that Soi wasn't inside. *All I'd need*, he thought, *is to have that hussy seeing me.*

Chuin lifted the flap and walked inside. Nakago had his back to him, and he wasn't wearing a shirt. Chuin nearly swooned. As Nakago turned around, Chuin dropped his head and stared at his bare feet. He heard Nakago give a slight gasp and then there was a pause. He could just feel Nakago's eyes running the length of him, and felt his own cheeks beginning to flush. Why did Chuin suddenly feel like a five year old? He'd never felt like that before. If only he had had the time to change. "You wanted to see he," he asked, hesitantly.

"Look at me." Nakago's voice sounded strange. Chuin had never heard him speak with such softness. He heard Nakago approaching him and started to tremble. What was wrong with him?? He never acted this way in front of Nakago! Nakago put a finger under Chuin's chin and gently lift his face. "I said to look at me, Chuin."

Chuin's heart began to pound. *He used my name!* He looked into Nakago's eyes, only to be confused with what he saw. Nakago's usual smirk was gone, replaced by a look that Chuin had never seen on another's face. And for some reason, that look sent his heart racing even faster and his body trembling, but not with fear. It became too much for him, and he looked away.

"I had hoped to catch you early enough. I'm glad I caught you before you put that make-up and costume on." Chuin's eyes flew back to Nakago's face. *Nani??* Nakago's finger lightly brushed Chuin's cheek. It was all Chuin could do to keep from moaning Nakago's name, but he couldn't stop the slight sound that came from the back of his throat. "I like you better without it." Chuin couldn't believe his ears! His head was reeling. Nakago preferred him without the make-up. *I'll never wear it again. Anything for Nakago!*

To Chuin's surprise, Nakago leaned closer. Chuin felt a jolt go through him as Nakago's lips brushed his. It felt as if every cell in his brain exploded in a shower of fireworks. "Na...Nakago?" His voice was barely a whisper. "Naze?" Could this be true? Could Nakago really be doing this?

Nakago gave a soft chuckle. "Baka. Don't you see?" Chuin looked at him in confusion. See what? Nakago stroked his cheek again, as he moved his hand behind Chuin's head. He leaned close as he whispered to Chuin, "I love you."

Chuin nearly passed out! All his life he had wanted someone, anyone, to say those words to him, and now those words were being said by the man he was in love with. Tears filled his eyes. Nakago loved him! "Nakago", he whispered past the lump in his throat. An unwanted thought came to him. "But what about Soi?"

Nakago chuckled. "Oh, her? I only use her to help me get my chi raised. Plus, she is a seishi. Other than that, she means nothing to me." Chuin's spirit began to soar. Nakago preferred him over that prostitute.

He felt Nakago tugging at the band that held his hair. Chuin moved his arm up to undo the band, but Nakago put his hand on Chuin's arm, halting the movement. Chuin put his arm back down. Instead of untying the band, Nakago slowly pulled it down the length of Chuin's ponytail. As Nakago pulled the band along at such a slow pace, Chuin was in agony and ecstasy. No one knew better than Chuin (and seemingly Nakago) that ecstasy and agony could sometimes be one and the same thing. He closed his eyes, savoring every moment of it.

As the band left his ponytail, Nakago ran his fingers through Chuin's hair with the same maddenly slow pace. As he reached the end, Nakago put an arm around Chuin's waist, the other hand making its way back up to Chuin's head. "I want you, Chuin. Body and soul." Nakago's warm breath tickled Chuin's ear, causing him to shiver.

"I am completely yours, Nakago," Chuin moaned. "I am your slave, now and forever."

Nakago moved his head back a little, so that he could once again see Chuin's face. They looked into each others eyes, before Nakago moved closer again. Chuin closed his eyes as Nakago's lips met his, more deeply than the last time. Chuin felt his knees buckle and he grabbed onto Nakago to keep from falling. Nakago pulled him closer as the kiss deepened.

Nakago ended the kiss, but immediately began planting kisses down Chuin's neck. Chuin clung to him, caressing his back, causing Nakago to give a slight moan. *I must have died and gone to heaven,* Chuin thought, his senses going on overload. Nakago slowly lowered him to the ground. Chuin obediately did what Nakago was silently bidding him to do. Finally, he was going to be able to give himself completely to Nakago.

"Tomo!" A voice called, seeming to come from above. Nakago gave no indication that he heard it, but continued to nibble on Chuin's neck. "Tomo!" Chuin glared at the ceiling. *Not now!! Give me another hour!* But the voice became more ardent. "Tomo!" *No! Go away! Leave me alone!* Nakago began to fade along with the suroundings. "Nakago", Chuin whimpered. "No! Don't go!" But everything faded into blackness. Chuin glared up and screamed, "iieeeeeee!!"
***********************************************************
Tomo slowly opened his eyes. Suboshi was kneeling in front of him, shaking him by the shoulder. "Tomo! Come on, Tomo! Wake up!"

With unexpected swiftness, Tomo grabbed the boy by the throat. "What do you want??" The boy's eyes grew wide with fear. Tomo pushed him away with disgust. Disgust at the boy for disturbing him, and disgust at himself for losing his composure. He brought his hands up to his face, but stopped himself before he rubbed his face. He nearly forgot he had his opera make-up on, and he wouldn't want to smear it. Tomo looked at Suboshi again, who was warily looking at him. "I said, 'what do you want'?"

Suboshi gingerly rubbed his throat. "Nakago-sama wants to see you."

Tomo's heart skipped a beat. *Baka! What are you getting excited about? It was all a fantasy! Nakago will never return your feelings,* he rebuked himself. He looked down at the shin in his hand. *Nothing but a fantasy.* A tear gathered itself in the corner of one eye, but he quickly and carefully brushed it away. He would not cry in front of this child, or any person for that matter! He closed his shin and put it away. He stood, straighten his opera costume, and went on his way to see Nakago.


Written by Cind-chan.
Posted March.9, 1998.

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