From: Miller, Bert
Sent: Monday, April 05, 1999 9:53 AM
To: 'ffml@fanfic.com'
Subject: [FFML][Ranma][Teaser]Off to See the Wizard
This is far from finished, but I saw Biles-san's point that Oz isn't often used in Ranma fanfics,
and thought I'd post this. It seemed a rather good match to me...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was a pleasant afternoon at Furikan High School. First year girls were engaged
in a softball game during physical education. Ranma was otherwise engaged.
"Nihao, Airen!" "Ranma, prepare to die!" "Foul Sorceror Saotome,
feel my wrath! Free the pig-tailed girl from your cursed spell!"
"What have you done with my beautiful Shampoo?" "Ranma, my boy!
How's about helping me with my collection?" "Oh, RANMA-sama..."
Annoyed, Akane ostentatiously ignored the noises from behind her,
concentrating on the game. One of her opponents hit a long fly ball.
Akane reacted immediately. "I'll get it!" She backpedaled, her eyes
on the ball. Behind her...
"HIRYUU SHOUTEN HA!!"
The last thing Akane heard as she was carried away in a whirlwind was
a panicked voice shouting her name.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Miss? Miss? Wake up, please!"
Gradually Akane woke up. She found herself lying on the ground, surrounded
by short people. P-Chan lay in her arms. "What? Where am I?"
Akane sat up and looked about her. She was lying on top of something,
in the middle of a village of small cottages. All of the colors
looked brighter than usual. "Anooo... P-Chan, I have the feeling
we're not in Nerima anymore..."
The little people looked at each other. "Nerima? What's a Nerima?"
Akane looked down. She was lying on a woman, apparently dead, who
wore a long black robe, had green skin and a long, pointed nose.
Her hair was bound in a long, asymmetrical pony-tail and she held
a gymnastics club in one hand, decorated in stars and half-moons.
The dead woman also wore a gorgeous pair of sparkly, ruby red geta,
or Japanese wooden shoes.
Three of the small men around her edged forward, standing in a line.
These three were balding, having only small wisps of white hair on
the sides of their head. All three closely inspected Akane. One
stepped forward.
"Lady, in honor of your arrival in our village, we'd like to sing
you a formal welcome." The three began to dance a jig while
singing.
"We represent... the lechery guild,
the lechery guild, the lechery guild.
And in the name of... the lechery guild...
We wish to welcome you to munchkin-land."
The three old men then leapt at Akane. She kicked them into the
stratosphere. Then three young, short women stepped forward. These
had short brown hair and wore short cutoff shorts and loose t-shirts.
They began to dance the twist while singing.
"We represent... the larceny league,
the larceny league, the larceny league.
And in the name of... the larceny league...
We wish to welcome you to munchkin-land."
The three girls then approached Akane and patted her clothes, looking
for pockets. "Have any money?" "Did you bring us any souvenirs?"
"Cheap advice!"
Suddenly a large soap-bubble appeared in the sky and descended to the
ground. It disappeared, and a motherly woman with long light brown
hair and a tattoo on her forehead appeared in its place, waving a magic
wand. She wore an elaborate pink kimono with a white apron
in front. All the little people bowed down to her.
"Oh my!"
Akane said, "Umm... have we met?"
The newcomer introduced herself. "My name is Kasumidandy. I am
the good witch of the north. These people around you are munchkins.
You must be the new witch who has freed the munchkins from their
oppressor, the wicked witch of the east. What they want to know is,
are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"
"Witch? I'm not a witch!" Akane looked down at the body she is
still standing on. "Witches are old and ugly, like her!" She
looked back up at Kasumidandy, embarrassed. "Uhh.. I guess except
when they're young and beautiful, like you. Anyway, I'm just a schoolgirl
from Nerima. I'm lost and want to go home."
Suddenly there was a burst of orange smoke and another wicked
witch appeared, waving a broombori. "Shampoo no like it when
sister killed! Obstacle girl for killing!"
"Aren't you forgetting the geta?" interjected Kasumidandy.
"The geta! Yes, the ruby geta! Shampoo forget!"
However, as Shampoo approached the feet of the dead body, the
bright red wooden sandals disappeared and reappeared on Akane's feet.
The new wicked witch tried to remove them, but her hands burned.
"Just try to stay out of my clutches! Just try! Shampoo get you,
my pretty, and your little pig, too!" The wicked witch disappeared
in a cloud of smoke.
"Oh my. I'm afraid she'll be after you now. You must try
to get out of Oz as quickly as you can."
"Which is the way to Nerima? I can't go the way I came."
"No, that's true. Well, my recommendation is to go see the great and
thundering sempai of Oz. If anyone can help you, he can."
"How do I know where to find him?"
"Just follow the yellow brick road."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Akane came to a crossroads in a ricefield. The yellow brick
road turned right, and left, and continued on in the center.
"Oh! Now which way do I go?"
"Some people like the right way," said a voice. Akane looked
around, but saw nobody except for a straw training dummy
standing in the field next to her.
"Huh? Who said that?"
"Others prefer the left."
"Come out, whereever you are!"
"Of course, an uncute tomboy like you would probably just take the
center path. OWWWW!" Akane hit the training dummy on top of its
head with her elbow, knocking it off its post.
"Any more smart comments?"
"Smart? No, I'm afraid not. You see, I haven't got a brain.
That's why I keep making stupid thoughtless remarks."
The Training Dummy put one hand behind its head and tugged at
its pigtail.
"No brain?"
"Just straw. See?" The training dummy showed the inside of its
head to Akane.
"How can you talk if you don't have a brain?"
"... I don't know, but some people without brains do an awful lot
of talking. Like me."
"Anoo... I'm going to the emerald city of Oz to see the Sempai.
Maybe he could give you a brain?"
"Do you really think so?"
"Well, if he doesn't, you'd be no worse off."
"That's true!"
"To Oz?"
"To Oz!"
Akane links arms with the Training Dummy and the two of them
skip down the Yellow Brick Road towards the Emerald City.
Akane hopes no-one she knows sees her this way; they might take
it to mean she actually felt something for the Dummy.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Proposed Cast:
Akane Dorothy
P-Chan Toto
Ranma Training Dummy
Ukyou Tin Chef
Genma Cowardly Panda
Shampoo Wicked Witch of the West
Kasumi Good Witch of the North
Nabiki Three munchkins
Happosai Three munchkins
Tatewaki The Wizard
Soun Mayor of the Munchkin City
Kodachi Wicked Witch of the East (now dead)
(
geocities.com/tokyo/dojo) (
geocities.com/tokyo)