Sketches of Tenchi 12: A Plague of Angels
A Tenchi Muyo! OAV/MnE/GXP fanfic
by HKMiller
23 March 2002
Featuring characters created by Hiroki Hayashi and Masaki
Kajishima, also copyright AiC and Pioneer; also prominently
featuring characters created by Haruka Takachiho.
Minor characters are from or inspired by other sources.
- - - - - - - - - -
At first it was the "same old, same old", ya know? Not that Yuri
'n I'd had much in the way of missions in that part of the galaxy,
but otherwise the story seemed very familiar. Mysterious
creature destroying everything and creating havok, yawn.
So Gooley gave us the planet's coordinates and we headed out,
figuring we could pick up anything else we needed to know by
watching the news while in flight. So we get within range, and
the news starts covering the failures of other teams who've gone
in to try to stop the destruction. Yuri and I look at each other,
puzzled, but she figures it out. The planet where all this is
going on is part of the Jurai Empire, and every amateur team of
"Soldiers of Love and Justice" in that part of the Empire was
apparently headed for Epsilonsis IV. Real bozo system they've
got there.
Yuri and I watched this one team, caught live in action...
- - - - - - - - - -
In the distance, the enormous, roughly humanoid figure stopped in
its rampage. Behind it, a trail of devastation led back through
the city as far as the eye could see. Silvery skyscrapers lay
broken and mangled; high-speed vehicles issued from a broken
tunnel and crashed into a growing heap. Overhead, a floating
cloudpark sparked as its lifter started to fail; it tilted and
started to fall from the sky.
The purple, long-armed monster tilted its head slightly, as if
puzzled, at the three figures which confronted it, standing in the
left foreground as the newscam caught it.
Three large mechas, red, green, and blue, stood poised to fight.
An amplified voice, high-pitched, caroled out over the battlefield.
"Foul creature! We, the Magic Knights, will stop you! I am
Rayearth!" The voice apparently came from the red mech.
The newsguy's voice-over came simultaneously with a floating
hypertag: "Lady Hikaru of House Shidou, 2nd degree hereditary
military nobility, fiancee of Prince Masaki Youshou Jurai."
"I am Windam!" added the green machine.
"Lady Fuu of House Hououji, 3rd degree hereditary commercial
nobility, also affianced to Prince Youshou," went the blurb.
"And I am Selece," finished the occupant of the blue machine, who,
we were promptly informed, was "Lady Umi of House Ryuuzaki, 3rd
degree hereditary financial nobility, affianced to Prince
Youshou."
In obviously well-practiced unison, the three called out, "In the
cause of Love and Justice, we will defeat you!"
- - - - - - - - - -
Well, they didn't; the monster proceeded to plow through all
three, apparently impervious to anything they threw at it. And,
in the meantime, most of the city got trashed.
"Hey, Yuri, looks like we've already been there, doesn't it?" I
called.
"Really, Kei. This is just perfect for us; how can the situation
possibly get any worse?"
As we later found out, the three so-called "Magic Knights", upon
their defeat, had retreated to some backwoods planet they'd been
hanging out on, and recruited some friends to help them out.
- - - - - - - - - -
Tenchi woke to a scream.
"AHHH! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY HAIR!?"
Groggily, he identified the voice as Kiyone's. He sat up and
looked around blearily. Hmm... Alielle was back again, he noted,
judging by the head of hair evidently belonging to the arms
wrapped around the sleeping Aeka. Best he get out of earshot
before Aeka woke up and discovered this.
Nodding decisively, Tenchi stealthily crept down the length of the
bed and over its foot, then smoothed his pajamas before leaving
his room.
He glanced into Mihoshi's and Kiyone's room. Kiyone was staring
at herself in the mirror, horrorstruck. Her hair had been cut
quite short. It now bore a part straight down the middle and was
brushed straight over to each side, falling just short of covering
her ears.
"But I like it, Kiyone," Mihoshi said thoughtfully.
"So help me, Mihoshi, if you did this to my hair..." Kiyone spat
out, clenching a fist.
"Did you just wake up like that, Kiyone?" Tenchi asked.
"Tenchi!" Kiyone's eyes widened. "Don't look!"
"But it looks nice on you, Kiyone," said Mihoshi. "Doesn't it,
Tenchi?"
Tenchi did a rapid cost/benefits calculation, then agreed with
Mihoshi.
- - - - - - - - - -
Tenchi descended the stairs to the living room, still conversing
with Kiyone and Mihoshi about Kiyone's hair. He paused as he
noticed somebody new sitting on the sofa in the living room.
"Oh, Tenchi!" shouted Sasami gleefully. "Grandma, this is Tenchi,
our fiance! Tenchi, this is Aeka's and my grandmother, Kamiki
Seto Jurai."
Tenchi bowed appropriately, and finished his descent of the
stairs, studying Seto. He saw little resemblance to Aeka or
Sasami, although the relationship to Misaki was obvious. Seto
looked like a more mature version of Misaki, but with a slight
greenish tinge to her hair color. Instead of the innocent
mischief which Sasami's and Misaki's smiles sometimes displayed,
Seto's smile seemed downright Machiavellian.
"Ah. That explains it," Kiyone muttered in a low voice so that
only Tenchi could hear.
"Oh!" Mihoshi put her hand to her mouth in wonder, staring at
Seto. "You're the one they call..."
Kiyone quickly slammed one hand over Mihoshi's mouth, then
continued for her, "...the Very Nice Princess of Jurai."
Sasami snickered.
- - - - - - - - - -
Over breakfast, things grew hot again.
"WHAT?!" shouted Kiyone indignantly. "You ADMIT IT?!"
"Of course I cut your hair, dear," explained Seto, putting one arm
around Kiyone and one around Sasami. "Now you look much like
Sasami's old nanny. I think it'll make Sasami feel more
comfortable in this alien environment."
"And is that all, grandmother?" asked Aeka suspiciously.
"Well, I was wondering about the possibility of convincing this
poor dear to change her name..."
"CHANGE MY NAME?!" screeched Kiyone.
"'Kiyone' is just so...," commented Seto, waggling her hand.
"How about we just rearrange the letters? How about Noyike?"
Kiyone trembled, clenching her fists and gritting her teeth.
"No, that isn't quite right... maybe Noike? Hmmm... yes, now
that seems to fit you. Sasami, don't you think she looks like
a 'Noike' now?"
Sasami just smiled sheepishly and shrugged in reply.
"Unfortunately I can't stay to convince you, I'm afraid. I must
be on my way very shortly. But do think about it, won't you,
my dear?" Seto said to Kiyone with a smile.
"Umm, Kiyone, is your face supposed to turn red like that?"
wondered Mihoshi.
"Grrr."
- - - - - - - - - -
After breakfast, the household had just walked outside to see
Lady Seto off and enjoy the nice weather when a green bubble
appeared on the lawn, then blinked out. Hikaru, Fuu, and Umi
stood in its place, wearing some sort of battle armor, burnt
and battered around its edges. All three promptly collapsed.
Shortly, the three were revived, and sitting on the veranda,
sipping Sasami's tea.
"We were bored," Hikaru explained, "just sitting around here with
our fiance, Prince Youshou..."
"...who keeps trying to hide us whenever he has visitors to the
shrine," Umi muttered darkly. "And he always acts embarrassed
that we exist, and he keeps making 'secret' interstellar calls to
beg someone named 'Airi' for help..."
"...so we decided to go looking for adventure," finished Fuu.
Sasami clapped her hands in delight. "Oh, right! You guys are
Soldiers for Love and Justice, right? I always thought that would
be so cool to be one!"
"Sasami! That's for nobles, not for royalty! The populace would
not appreciate it if you were hurt in a brawl!"
Kiyone snorted. "How your system ever produces justice I'll never
know. Justice is a job for professionals, not amateurs."
Aeka turned to stare frostily at Kiyone. "I'll have you know that
the polls give much higher popularity ratings to the average
Juraian Licensed Soldier of Justice than to the average GP
officer!"
Kiyone, looking blank, muttered, "...and what the polls say
matters because?"
Hikaru took up the story. "So, anyway, we were cruising towards
the Far Periphery..."
"...that is spinward, out, and south from this solar system..."
offered Fuu by way of explanation, with a glance at Tenchi.
"...when we heard about problems on one of Jurai's newer
colonies." continued Umi. "Naturally, we took action."
A holographic image of their pre-encounter speeches speeches
and poses, appeared in the air before the group. At its
conclusion, Kiyone shook her head. "This is supposed to be police
work?"
"Wow!" rhapsodized Mihoshi, enthralled. "I wish we could do that!
It looks neat!"
"Anyway, we attacked it. But we couldn't do any real damage to
the creature," said Hikaru sadly.
"It had a force field completely impervious to all our attacks.
And its arms extended to grasp our mecha before we could react,"
added Umi glumly.
"It destroyed our poor machines! We just barely managed to beam
back to our ship in time." Fuu mourned.
"That creature needs to be stopped," insisted Hikaru. "But it's
going to take a lot of force to do it."
"Hmmm..." Washuu set to work typing. Over to one side, a flat
panel holographic display appeared, turned to JNN. Additional
displays, appearing out of nowhere, supplemented it.
One display in particular caught the attention of Hikaru, Fuu, and
Umi, who looked appalled. "Those hags! They're going in where we
failed!"
"Who?" asked Sasami eagerly. "Anybody I've heard of?"
"Momoko, Yuri, and Hinagiku. Our arch-rivals, the Love Angels."
"Wow; they must be new. I've never heard of them," said Sasami
eagerly. "Are they cool? Do they have neat speeches and poses?"
"Nobody's called the GP in yet," noted Kiyone, who'd been looking
at a Galaxy Police feed on a different screen.
Edward, who was typing on her own laptop, chimed in, chanting,
with a big grin, "Rivals with a rep so bad, who could make my
pals so mad?" Then, in a more normal voice, she added, turning
to face Mihoshi and Kiyone, "The Galaxy Welfare Association is
coming instead."
"Not them..." Mihoshi blanched and started trembling, chewing on
her fingernails.
"Yessiree! The _famous ace troubleshooters_," announced Ed in a
low, slightly stilted, overly-dramatic voice, "codename: Lovely
Angels."
Kiyone started turning red with anger. "Those two IDIOTS! How
the hell did they get permission to enter Jurai space?"
Washuu looked up from her typing, caught a glimpse of a screen
showing the humanoid's attack, and froze. "Th- that..."
"Do you know something about it, Washuu-sama?" asked Aeka.
Washuu came out of her momentary freeze. "That's -CHAN!" she
shouted, glaring at Aeka. "But, yes, I do. I created that, and
twelve more like it, over fifteen thousand years ago. But how
did they escape? I buried them on an uninhabited planet far from
the nearest outposts of civilization!"
"Jurai colonized Epsilonsis IV about four thousand years ago,"
said Hikaru slowly.
"Four thousand fifty-seven," clarified Edward, still typing.
"Epsilonsis IV? Was COLONIZED? What idiot did that? I built
that planet to be a trash heap for my most dangerous experiments!"
Washuu grabbed two fistfuls of her hair and looked as though she
were about to tear them out.
Edward looked up from further typing, smirking. "The then
Minister of Imperial Colonization approved it, overriding the
unanimous opinion of his advisory council. He retired shortly
afterwards, joining the board of the megacorp to which he had
granted colonization rights."
"Typical Juraian business ethics, then," said Ryouko with
amusement. She ignored Aeka's return glare.
"But we'll bring him to justice!" caroled Hikaru, Fuu, and Umi
in unison, raising clenched fists in the air to cross at the
wrists.
"I don't THINK so," chanted Edward merrily. "The gentleman in
question is Hikaru's great-grandfather, Fuu's great-great, and
Umi's great-great-great-great-great."
The three's shoulders drooped.
"Anyway, as I said, there are thirteen of those things running
around. They all have the same forcefield, but different shapes
and abilities. I called them 'Angels'. Well, we'll have to go
and stop it ourselves, I think. Tenchi might be the only one who
can."
"As usual." Ryouko plucked Ryou-ou-ki off the top of Sasami's
head and hurled her skyward. In short order the entire group was
en route.
- - - - - - - - - -
Yuri 'n I were both surprised by how easy it had been to enter
Juraian space. We'd been denied entry in the past (with some
rather unflattering comments). But this time, approval came very
quickly, apparently expedited by someone named 'Kamiki Seto
Jurai'. Yuri looked her up, and found that she, like us, had
somehow acquired an uncomplimentary sobriquet: 'Demon Princess'.
No doubt she sympathized with the difficulties Yuri and I
sometimes run into because of that horrible name people keep
applying to us.
So Yuri 'n I get to this planet, Epsilonsis IV, in the middle of
nowhere and report to the planetary governor. Lucky us; we get
there at exactly the same time as another crazy bunch: three
girls wearing, believe it or not, floor-length white dresses,
gloves, and veils, holding bouquets of flowers. And get this:
they _demanded_ first shot at the monster. Well, Yuri 'n I
weren't exactly gonna argue, know what I mean? But we couldn't
get the planetary governor's attention at first.
"Oh no. Oh dear. What shall I do? What CAN I do?" This bald,
short guy, middle-aged, just kept pacing back and forth in his
office, nervously rubbing his hands together.
"Err... how about letting us go fight the monster?"
"No, no, it's not about that; we've just realized: some of the
citizens who've been killed by the monsters don't have recent
backups of themselves or their homes or possessions on file!
We're not sure if we've lost them, or if the citizens just didn't
do their backups. Either way, we can't restore their present
selves! Some of the backups are centuries old; if we restore from
those, the citizens will be centuries out of date! What will we
do? What CAN we do?"
The guy just keeps pacing, rubbing his hands together. "Some of
them don't even have insurance for bodily reconstitution!"
Yuri and I glance at each other, perplexed. "So what? They
didn't do their backups, they pay the penalty."
The three in the white wedding gowns just glared at us. "SO
WHAT?!" the leader says indignantly. "Just think about how
they're going to vote in the polls! The whole planetary
government might be toppled! And WE certainly don't come out
looking good."
The second bride, also named Yuri, added worriedly, "The only way
any team of Soldiers comes out of this affair looking like winners
is to produce the lost backups from somewhere."
I just stared, open-mouthed. Yuri (my Yuri, not the one wearing
the gown) said, taking a step forward, "Can we just worry about
stopping the monster?"
"I'm not surprised you two don't realize the importance of good
public relations, given the popularity figures you two get!" The
third 'bride', Hinagiku, pointed an angry finger right at Yuri
(mine). Yuri stepped back, into me. Our bare hands met and the
world faded.
- - - - - - - - - -
The usual cloudy background appeared. A huge cube
appeared in the sky, to be cut in half by a bare-chested,
muscular hero who came out of nowhere, swinging a sword
of pure light. His teeth glinted in the sunshine as he
smiled. Other scenes followed in quick succession, the same,
incredibly handsome figure slicing another dozen quickly-
glimpsed shapes in two.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Mine," I heard Yuri whisper, even as my own lips shaped the same
word.
We came back to ourselves only to see that the so-called 'Love
Angels' had taken advantage of our momentary precog trance to head
for the monster first.
- - - - - - - - - -
Elsewhere, we later learned, we ourselves were the topic of
discussion.
"They're from a rival galaxy-wide agency, Tenchi," explained
Kiyone. "The Galaxy Police is specifically chartered for
fighting interplanetary crime and space piracy, and we're
armed and trained for that purpose. There are many other,
similar galaxy-wide organizations established by the Galactic
Union: the Galaxy Library Institute, for instance, and the group
these two idiots belong to: the GWA. They're supposed to be
more general-purpose trouble-shooters, for stopping disease
epidemics or long-lasting financial depressions, for instance."
"So why are these two coming to stop a monster?" Tenchi
scratched his head, puzzled.
"Kei and Yuri happen to have a portfolio which largely overlaps
the GP's: they're trouble-shooters nominally specializing
in crime."
"But things seem to happen around them a lot," Mihoshi added
solemnly, nodding wisely.
Everyone else present paused to give her a long look.
"Mihoshi means that the Pair has a galaxy-wide reputation for
destruction," Kiyone finished.
Nearby, Aeka and Sasami finished questioning Ed. "And ALL of
the nearby Soldier teams are related to this corrupt and unworthy
scoundrel?" Aeka asked. "This, what was his name again, this
Oshoku Jou?"
"Ed checked the twenty closest," the urchin chortled as she spun a
slow circle in mid-air. "All have at least one member descended
from him."
"But that means that they can't bring him to justice," Sasami
noted, glancing at Aeka.
"Indeed not, Sasami," Aeka confirmed. "That would display a lack
of breeding and manners which would doom their team's poll ratings
for decades. We must find another solution for bringing about
justice in this case. Let me think about it; not all the means
at our disposal are equally bound by considerations of
popularity."
"What," wondered Ryouko, appearing out of nowhere almost nose-
to-nose with Aeka, hands clasped behind her back and wearing
a mischievous grin, "you just happen to have an I.M. Force or a
Noir Team up your sleeve or something?"
"You are not supposed to know about those!" snapped Aeka. "Forget
about them immediately!"
- - - - - - - - - -
So we catch up with the trio just in time to see their trademark
speeches and poses. The leader waved her flower bouquet
around with one hand as she spoke. Yuri 'n I watched all this
from the cockpit of the Lovely Angel, high above.
"On this pleasant planet, on this nice spring day, the warm
sunshine should be raising one's spirits. However, you have
depressed the spirits of the people by devastating their cities
and killing them by the hundreds of thousands. This has made me,
the Angel of Love, Wedding Peach, become mildly upset with you!"
This, accompanied by a series of synchronized gestures which ended
with all three girls pointing their bouquets at the monster, just
floored Yuri and I. We fell backward on top of Mughi; we couldn't
stop laughing for minutes. It didn't help when the monster itself
tilted its head and beak to the side, as if puzzled.
Then the three bimbos did some trick with flashing lights and a
quick change of clothes. Now, dressed in short, brightly colored
outfits, each with something on their thigh which looked for all
the world like a garter belt, they all three pointed up into the
air in synchronized motions. And then they just flew. As in up.
No visible jetpacks, nothing on their backs. Yuri started
typing rapidly into the sensor board. Turned out the 'garters'
were highly miniaturized, combined anti-grav/thruster units.
I turned to Yuri. "You've gotta be kidding me. They only have
them on one leg. Wouldn't that make flying incredibly awkward?
And wouldn't thrusters that small have, like, a significant
chance of exploding any given time you used them?"
Yuri replied, "I don't see how they couldn't. Of course, this is
Juraian tech; maybe theirs are safer. Still, what's wrong with a
standard flightpack?"
I answered, gloomily, "It's probably all about their 'wedding'
theme and their poll numbers. But they're good for something;
I've got a clear shot with the main phaser cannon while they're
distracting it." I aimed and fired.
I hit the monster dead center in its chest. And nothing happened.
We checked the replays in slo-mo. Some sort of visible energy
field appeared just before the beam hit the monster. Not white,
like a Light Hawk Wing would be, but apparently just as
impregnable. Instead of absorbing the energy, this field
reflected it.
Yuri and I looked at each other. "What now?" we asked
simultaneously. We both shrugged, then looked back at the battle
to see how the bimbos were doing. They continued to fly around
the monster like gnats, shooting it with beams from their hands,
to no effect. It didn't look like the monster even noticed them.
One of our side monitors, tuned to the local news stations, broke
in with a reporter announcing the results of the latest polls.
Our three allies' popularity had taken a three-point drop in the
last ten minutes.
Yuri called my attention to a new entrant descending from the
upper atmosphere above us. It was one of the weirdest ships I'd
ever seen, four crystal spikes emerging from a central tower, the
whole thing an ugly grey. The news reporter interrupted herself
to name the ship the "Ryou-ou-ki", and then said that the probable
occupants included several members of Juraian royalty.
"Oh, great," I said to Yuri. "Now we've gotta protect these crazy
royals who think they can do something about the situation."
Yuri tried to contact the ship to warn them away from the area,
but they just ignored us. The ship descended to about one
thousand feet above the monster, then stopped. Three more flying
figures emerged. I magnified the scene, and suddenly found it
difficult to breathe. The most gorgeous man I'd ever seen, the
man from our precognitive vision, was one of them, wearing a pink
kimono. A sword of pure light appeared in his hands, then grew.
He chopped downward with it towards the monster.
"No! It's too strong! It'll kill you," I heard Yuri whisper, and
made a mental note to myself that I'd have to move quick to beat
Yuri to this guy.
The sword clashed with the monster's forcefield and stopped, but
held its position. The man grit his teeth; the muscles in his
forearms tensed. Slowly the sword pushed through the monster's
field. Once through, the monster itself was no barrier at all to
the blade's passing.
- - - - - - - - - -
We landed near the area where the Ryou-ou-ki's crew had beamed
down. The so-called Love Angels had landed as well, and greeted
the new arrivals with brief bows. This little girl with sky-blue
hair was earnestly pumping all three of their hands and peppering
them with questions.
Yuri and I got out and walked over, accompanied by Mughi. There
were a whole bunch of the royals, but only the one guy. And two
of the women surrounding him were all too familiar to us.
"What are YOU two doing here?" I demanded of GP detectives Mihoshi
and Kiyone. "How the hell did you ever get permission to enter
Jurai space?"
Kiyone, the uptight one, just snorted and looked away. Mihoshi,
the brainless one, clasped her hands together and said, "Tenchi
invited me. And now we're going to be married!"
"Not just you!" sniped this purple-haired snooty princess-type
in a formal kimono, echoed a moment later by this weird biker
chick type with spiky cyan hair.
This short, red-headed girl seemed surprised when Mughi walked out
from behind us. "A coerl. You keep a coerl as a pet. Are the
two of you completely insane?" She asked impertinently, waving a
small sensor device in Yuri's face. "They feed on phosphorus
taken directly from living tissue."
"Oh, izzat what that stuff is?" I asked, surprised. I glanced at
Yuri; she shrugged. "We just order his food from central supply."
Mughi growled briefly at the red-haired twit.
"So what if I'm blowing your cover? Do I care?" the twit replied,
pretending she could understand Mughi. Kids these days!
"You two must be the Lovely Angels I've heard so much about," said
the love of my life, looking the two of us up and down and bowing
briefly. His eyes definitely spent more time on my nice tan than
on Yuri's pale skin.
"I'm Kei, and the ugly, temperamental one here is Yuri," I said as
quickly as I could, taking a quick step forward to cut Yuri off.
Yuri anticipated me, though, and took a dancing step to her left,
then forward in front of where she thought I'd be. I tripped over
her foot and dragged her along as we both fell onto Mr. Perfect.
I looked up to see three faces livid with anger, several more
suffering from concern, and a pair of red-haired twerps, cackling
with laughter.
- - - - - - - - - -
Eventually we got everything straightened out. The three bimbo
'Love Angels' retired to a nearby outdoor bistro with these other
three, the 'Magic Knights', who came back with the royals,
apparently to reminisce, kibbitz, whatever.
Yuri 'n I huddled with the red-heads and Prince Tenchi, as we
learned he was called, and a few of his other hangers-on. The
taller of the two red-heads, we learned, was the legendary Hakubi
Washuu, some geeky science whiz-kid from way back.
This Washuu claimed to have created the monster herself, some
fifteen thousand years ago, as well as a bunch more. We watched
her type away on her computer, running a search for the rest.
While this was going on, that snotty Princess Aeka was placing a
vidcall to her brother, Prince Youshou, on that backwoods planet
they'd all been living on.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Brother, I seek your advice on the matter of the retired minister
Oshoku Jou, who, it seems, corruptly permitted colonization of
this planet, Epsilonsis IV. Normally, such a one would be brought
to justice by any available team of Soldiers of Love and Justice,
but we have encountered a problem in seeking to enlist them in
this particular case."
"She means none of them can do it 'cause they're all related to
him," Ryouko amplified, suddenly standing right behind Aeka.
Aeka attempted to elbow Ryouko in the solar plexus, but she was
no longer there.
"Hmmm... that does seem to be a grave problem," Youshou allowed,
holding his chin in his right hand and nodding his understanding.
"It has occurred to me," Aeka said diffidently, "that this might
be a case where perhaps one of the... 'other assets'... available
to the Royal Family might be brought into play. It does seem to
me that this matter has now become our responsibility."
"I can see where such a course of action might occur to you,"
Youshou admitted, pursing his lips in consideration.
"Do you agree with me that we should activate one of these teams?"
asked Aeka with a little more intensity in her tone, "and, if so,
do you think a Noir Team or an I.M. Force would be more suitable?"
Youshou's eyes widened. His eyes quickly shifted left, then
right, before the incipient panic on his features was replaced
by a crafty smile.
After appearing to give the matter due consideration, Youshou
said carefully, "I must admit that I think the employment of a
Noir Team for this matter seems out of proportion."
"I see." Aeka said, testily. "I will refrain from asking whether
your personal situation has any bearing on your advice. Please
ask the relevant ladies to join this call, and I will issue their
charge. And if you wish to send the other pair to this planet as
well, I am sure we can find some use for them."
Youshou nodded, pleased, then stepped away from the screen and
called out the door of his office back at the Masaki Shrine on
Earth. A few moments later, the faces of Sutingurei Shiria,
Daitokuji Pikko, Amberudon Teruzi, and Haafusaaku Menori, four
of Youshou's official fiancees, filled the screen.
"Good morning, Shiria," Aeka began, using the ceremonial words,
millenia old. "The man in this picture is Oshoku Jou, a retired
minister recently determined to be guilty of corruption. Your
mission, should you decide to accept it, is to expose his
corruption to the empire and bring him to justice in the
traditional manner. If any member of your Imperial Majesty Force
is caught or killed, the Royal Family will disavow any knowledge
of your mission." Aeka held her solemn expression as she finished
reciting the ancient charge.
Shiria answered for the group. "Your Highness, we understand and
accept the mission." She, Pikko, Teruzi, and Menori then bowed
and cut the connection.
"Okay, you've managed to surprise me," admitted Ryouko, appearing
again beside Aeka. "Those girls have lived with us or just up
the hill for months, and neither you nor they have ever once let
this slip."
Aeka smiled craftily. "A princess must be able to keep secrets,
Ryouko. Keep this in mind for when you become one."
- - - - - - - - - -
Turned out all of the other so-called 'Angels' were still buried
in this pit five miles deep, with an entrance tucked away in the
middle of this huge mountain range. "Almost certainly still
dormant," the twerp chirped at us, obviously amused. Well, Yuri
and I knew what THAT meant: the damn things would wake up as
soon as we got there, whether we had anything to do with it or
not.
Still, it WAS our job to see this through. So there we were, Yuri
and I accompanying Prince Tenchi, detective Mihoshi, the biker
chick Ryouko, and, to our disbelief, two of the kids: Edward and
Alielle. The latter kept giving Yuri 'n I these odd looks and
licking her lips. Gave me the creeps.
We took one of our hovercycles down this long shaft. Got pretty
dark, but Ryouko made this ball of light which helped some.
At the bottom, just as Washuu had said, an entrance to the side
led into an enormous cavern. Our steps, quiet as they were,
echoed eerily in the silence. In the dim light, we could just
make out a number of large, indefinite shapes. I could hear
detective Mihoshi whimpering behind me. I hoped she was pointing
her blaster somewhere else.
"Ryouko, a bit more light, please? Edward, where is the 'S2'
power supply in this first one?" Tenchi called. Yummy, such a
masculine, assertive tone in his voice, too.
Edward cocked her head, staring into the screen on the hand-held
detector she carried. "Swimmer, flyer, halo, cube, lead me to
your access tube," she chanted, then drifted towards the nearest
shape.
Pretty soon she was shining a laser pointer at a particular spot
on the chest of the nearest. "Full meters five the S2 lies;
without its power the Angel dies," the geek continued in a
stilted funeral tone.
Yuri and I glanced at each other. I rolled my eyes. Yuri stifled
a giggle.
Mr. Handsome (even if he did have too many fiancees) summoned his
Light Hawk Sword and cut where Ed pointed. Much to Yuri 'n my
surprise, nothing unusual happened.
Nothing much unusual happened, in fact, as we went through the
rest of the cavern, disabling all the other 'Angels'.
- - - - - - - - - -
Up above, this fact was surprising somebody else, too.
"I can't BELIEVE it. Nothing's going wrong. Not one of the
things is waking up and killing millions of people." Kiyone
sounded as astonished as she looked. "This NEVER happens with
the Dirty Pair."
"Oh? Disaster occurs that frequently around them?" asked Washuu
with interest, as she tracked the team's progress down below.
"They've never had one, single mission go right in their entire
careers, except for the one where Mihoshi and I met them."
"Hmmm... maybe I'd better run a few tests, then," replied Washuu.
"You said they're supposed to be precogs, right?"
"That's supposedly why the GWA recruited them, though I've never
heard that it helped them any."
"If they're beneficially psychic in one way, they might have
another, off-setting but less obvious, psychic gift as well,"
Washuu commented absently. "So why isn't it triggering now?
Oh, well, more experiments to run," she added gleefully.
- - - - - - - - - -
By the time we all got back up on the surface again, without any
disasters or anything happening, two more teenage-looking girls
had arrived, Rei and Asuka. Turned out they, like the 'Magic
Knights', were fiancees of Tenchi's grandfather, Prince Youshou.
Guess it runs in the family.
Everybody had joined the two teams of 'Soldiers' at the outdoor
bistro (which was, I admit, a very nice place for kicking back
and letting loose. Lots of pretty-good-looking guys in every
direction). Yuri and I were trying to ignore Mihoshi and Kiyone,
pretending to consult with Washuu while making sure Tenchi had a
good view of us. To tell you the truth, I was starting to sour on
him, though. I mean, a little competition is fine, as long as you
win; it just means that you've picked the right guy. But this
Tenchi was somehow stringing along at least eight fiancees! He'd
somehow convinced them all they were happy sharing him, too! And
on top of all that, he wasn't even looking at me very often!
Just to my right, Sasami exclaimed in delight as the waiter droid
brought her food, Rei's, and Asuka's. I glanced her way just as
Sasami asked Rei to pass her a knife. I blinked, startled. Did
I really see that? It looked like this manikin-like teenager had
just flipped that knife around, one-handed, in one of the slickest
moves I'd ever seen. Sasami's face sure looked like she'd seen
something unusual, but the other new girl, Asuka, didn't look the
least bit surprised. She had something else on her mind.
"You just left those things disabled down there?" Asuka asked
Washuu. "Can you make mecha out of them? I've always wanted my
own mecha. Bright red, to fit my personality! C'mon, Wonder
Girl, let's go pick up some mecha of our own!"
- - - - - - - - - -
Meanwhile, the foursome we hadn't met yet had made it to the
planet Drazilon VI, where the corrupt minister, Ochoku Jou, lived
in a secluded villa, well fortified against intruders.
"Thanks to Teruzi, we have all the evidence we need. However,
in order to give him the traditional notice, we have to get into
his villa surreptitiously," Shiria said, as the four hovered
over a detailed holomap of the villa. "He has the standard
defenses against incoming uninvited teleports, Which means we
have to get Pikko's miniaturized teleporter inside his villa
somehow, preferably into his smoking library." Shiria indicated
the room she wanted. "What about miniaturized 'bots carrying it
in over the walls, Pikko?"
"I don't think they'll work. His defenses were made by my
father's megacorp; they're of my design, just last year," Pikko
said regretfully. "They'll spot my 'bots, and then we'll have
a shooting war."
"Right." Shiria turned to Teruzi and Menori. "Then it's time
for our secret weapon. Here's the map; do your stuff, you two."
Menori put down her panpipe and summoned her pets. The fire
lizards appeared in the air around them, swarming around and
around, but eventually setting down on any convenient surface.
"Fortunately, nobody but we know that these little-known
creatures can get through any teleport defense," Pikko commented.
"Though it's still a mystery to me how they do it."
"Please DON'T figure it out and design an improved defense for
your father," Shiria said tiredly, "at least not while we're in
this business."
Teruzi looked Menori in the eyes and nodded. The two went en
rapport, Teruzi's xeno-telepathy enhancing Menori's natural
empathy for her pets enough so that highly specific orders could
be communicated to the lizards.
The fair of fire lizards, clustered together, picked up Pikko's
teleporter and vanished.
- - - - - - - - - -
I signalled Yuri and we both headed for the bathroom. Once away
from the table, I hissed, "Yuri, this guy is the pits. He hasn't
even glanced my way for fifteen minutes now. And the
competition's too much. Our job's over; let's just take off."
"Kei, what are you talking about? He's cute! And he's looked MY
way twice in the last five minutes. Let's stick around, at least
until they all leave or something. We aren't in any hurry."
"He's only looking at you 'cause you're flashing him cleavage!"
Yuri always pretends to be the cool, cerebral one, but don't you
believe it! When it comes to cute guys, she's as scatter-brained
as anyone I've ever met.
"If you've got it, flaunt it, I always say," Yuri replied with
a smirk, flipping her hair back.
I growled at her, but she was right: we didn't have anywhere
else we needed to be right now, and, what they hey? The guy
might still come to his senses and tell me I'm the most beautiful
woman he's ever seen.
- - - - - - - - - -
Shiria, Pikko, and Teruzi 'ported in, leaving Menori behind to
monitor their progress. Judging by the time, Oskoku Jou was
almost certainly at dinner.
Carefully, Shiria cleared away the surface of the table beside
the most-worn armchair, and adjusted the reading light to shine
right onto it. Pikko handed her the traditional notice and
ceremonial silver devolver, with a single charge.
As quietly as they came, the three beamed out.
Half an hour later, Oskoku Jou walked in, wearing an elegant silk
smoking jacket, carrying a glass of cognac and smoking a cigar.
He saw the letter and devolver. The cigar fell, unnoticed, from
his mouth; the cognac glass shattered on the floor.
Crossing rapidly to the table, he ripped the letter open. He
was afraid he already knew what it would say: that evidence of
his corruption (and its consequences to the population of
Epsilonsis IV) was on its way to the news media.
Oskoku Jou stood still, head bowed, contemplating a future devoid
of even respect, let alone competitive poll ratings. The prospect
seemed unappealing.
One alternative remained: the traditional, honorable way out.
His shoulders stiffened, and he picked up the devolver.
- - - - - - - - - -
And back on Epsilonsis IV, things were rapidly changing for the
worse.
"Nope, no question about it!" the snippy redhead said. Boy did I
ever want to wipe that smirk off her face. "The psychic
'bad-luck' aura you two generate is completely dampened as long as
the two of you stay within a hundred meters of Mihoshi. And your
clairvoyance abilities are enhanced, too!"
"Screw this! C'mon, Yuri, we're out of here!" I snapped.
"Too late! Ed already informed your superiors," the other twerp
cackled.
"And beside," the midget pervert purred, "I'd like to get to
know the two of you SO much better."
Our communicators buzzed. It was our boss Gooley, natch. And
what did he want? He ORDERED us to stay with this polygamous
prince and his sap brides-to-be. He showed us the pile of
petitions on his desk, begging us to spend the rest of our lives
with them.
"Well... we're NOT marrying you, understand!?" I shouted at Tenchi.
"Even if you are kind of cute," added Yuri.
"We're gonna figure some way outta this," I insisted. "And when
we do, we're outta here!"
"So it doesn't matter what nice things you say to us," Yuri
assured him. "Or even if you happen to give us candy or flowers."
"Cause we're still leaving! As soon as we figure out how!"
- - - - - - - - - -
THE END (for now).
This and other fanfics (including parts 1-11) stored at:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/5058
Notes:
Why the first-person, told by Kei? Because that's the way
Haruka Takachiho always wrote his novels. Mughi really is
a Van Vogt coerl in the original, too; that's one respect in
which the American manga is closer to the original than the
anime was.
And what was up with Seto and Kiyone? Well, the release of
GXP and its revelations puts me in a bind, since I'd already
added Kiyone to this cast. Who could have guessed that
Kajishima would decline to add Kiyone in OAV III, but instead
introduce a different green-haired former partner of Mihoshi's?
I decided I'd try to stay as close as possible to the OAVs,
which means changes for Kiyone.
Hikaru, Fuu, and Umi (Magic Knights Rayearth) were created
by CLAMP; Rei and Asuka are owned by Gainax;
Teruzi (Telzey Amberdon) created by James H. Schmitz;
Menori (Menolly) created by Anne McCaffrey.
Radical Edward is from "Cowboy Bebop".
Alielle from El Hazard;
Kei and Yuri are from "Dirty Pair";
Momoko, Yuri, and Hinagiku are from "Wedding Peach".
(
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