Akane's a Q? Oh No!
A Ranma 1/2 shortfic by HKMiller
30 October 2001
Major characters copyright Rumiko Takahashi and licensees:
Shogakukan in Japan and Viz Communications in the USA.
No disrespect is intended by my unlicensed usage.
Concept, plot situations, and one character taken from
Star Trek: the Next Generation, created by Gene Roddenberry and
owned by Paramount.
- - - - - - - - - -
"RANMA! Quit picking on P-chan!" The fleeing P-chan leaped into
Akane's waiting arms, just ahead of Ranma, who entered the dining
room through the sliding doors into the yard. Cuddling the
heavily breathing piglet, Akane glared at Ranma. "I wish P-chan
could talk! He'd tell you what he thinks of your bullying!"
"That's right, Ranma," said P-chan, in Ryouga's voice. "How
DARE you upset Akane-san so!"
As both Ranma and Akane stared at P-chan, Nabiki raised one
eyebrow.
"P-chan? How come you can suddenly talk? And why do you sound
just like Ryouga-kun?" Akane asked in surprise.
"Maybe P-chan's your official magical girl talking mascot, Akane,"
Nabiki suggested with a smile.
"Like this tomboy'd look good in one a' those..." Ranma trailed
off, staring at Akane.
Akane, ignoring her new sailor fuku and glittering tiara, glared
right back at Ranma. "And what would that make YOU?"
Ranma promptly found himself dressed in a white Arabian sheik
outfit, complete with short white cape, and a red rose between
his teeth. He spit the rose out in disgust.
Nabiki raised her other eyebrow. "Try wishing that I had a
million yen, Akane," she said.
"Oh, right, like that's..." Akane broke off as a shower of one-yen
coins appeared out of thin air right above Nabiki, then fell on
her and buried her. Ranma scurried to dig Nabiki out.
- - - - - - - - - -
A short while later, the whole household sat around discussing
recent events.
"It's like the laws of physics went right out the window," said
Nabiki slowly.
"And why shouldn't they? They're SO inconvenient," announced a
new voice. All heads turned. A smirking gaijin lay on his side,
in mid-air, looking at the group.
"Who?"
"No, 'Q'," replied the gaijin. "I am from the 'Q Continuum', a
group of omnipotent beings. There is nothing we can't do. Well,
except give each other distinct names."
"What d'you got to do with this, mister?" asked Ranma, clenching
a fist.
"I'm just here to see if what I suspected is true," answered the
gaijin, idly examining his fingernails.
"And what is that?"
"That Tendo Akane is 'Q'."
"No, she's Akane," answered Nabiki with a smirk.
"Oh my!" said Kasumi. "But how is that possible? Is Akane
adopted? Were her real parents from this Q continuum?"
"Not at all," answered Q. "She's merely the winner of our new,
once-in-a-million years lottery. Certain members of the Q..."
here the gaijin rolled his eyes towards the ceiling, then
continued, "...decided to amuse themselves by randomly admitting
new members. But the granting of Q privileges to mortals does
not always work correctly; I'm here to see if it did in this
case."
"So you're saying 'there's nothing Akane can't do'"? asked Nabiki
cautiously.
"'Cept beat me in the dojo," announced Ranma confidently.
"Ranma, you're acting like a baby," said Akane with aspersion.
Ranma, suddenly two months old, stuck out his tongue and a lower
eyelid at Akane in retaliation.
"This serves you right, Ranma," said P-chan, "for angering Akane-
san like that!"
Akane, reminded that P-chan could now talk, looked at him
worriedly. "I wish Ryouga-kun were here too, P-chan; you're
starting to worry me, sounding like him."
Ryouga promptly walked in from the direction of the bathroom.
P-chan's eyes widened as he stared at Ryouga. So did Ranma's.
Unfortunately, two-month-old Ranma couldn't do anything about
it except start squawking.
"Oh, grow up, Ranma," said Akane with some asperity.
Ranma promptly became his normal height. He wondered why Nabiki
and Ryouga were laughing, while Akane looked horrified. He
quickly found out why when Nabiki handed him a mirror. Ranma
found himself looking thirtyish, starting to lose hair and with
his girth starting to spread.
"Uh, can ya just turn me back the way I was?" Ranma managed,
with difficulty, to control his tongue from saying anything more.
Akane was learning too, however. She thought for a moment or two,
then nodded, with a shy smile.
"Thank you so much, my dear," said a dashingly-handsome Ranma as
he looked directly at Akane, his eyes shining with love. "You're
so lovely when you're fixing things like that. It just reminds me
of how much I truly love you."
Nabiki blanched, then, with a quick glance at Akane, left the
room as quickly as she could (consistent with not attracting
Akane's attention).
"Ranma! How dare you!" said P-chan and Ryouga simultaneously.
Then they both blinked. Wait; Ranma treating Akane-san as she
deserves? What's going on? Piglet and man continued to glare at
Ranma suspiciously.
Carefully lifting Akane by one hand, Ranma conducted Akane over
the veranda and into the backyard next to the koi pond. A large
koi leaped out of the water. The full moon illuminated the
scene as the two lovers stared into each others' eyes.
"Oh, my, the moon's out and it's the middle of the day," said
Kasumi.
"Ranma! It's all your fault!" shouted P-chan and Ryouga in
unison.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Yes, Ukyou, you'd better get over to our place quickly.
Something's happening with Akane; Ranma might need comforting,"
said Nabiki over her cellphone.
She hung up, then called the Nekohanten and repeated her
explanation.
With distractions arranged for, she decided to rejoin the fun
and games downstairs.
- - - - - - - - - -
"Come, my dear, it's time for me to train you," said Q to Akane.
Q held out his hand. "You should leave that buffoon the way he
is, however; I think he's much improved."
Akane looked at Ranma sadly, then shook her head. The full moon
vanished; Ranma blinked, then managed to look simultaneously
embarrassed and angry. He did, however, manage to keep his mouth
shut, just.
Q and Akane disappeared. Kasumi turned and went back into the
kitchen.
Ranma turned to Ryouga and P-chan, still both standing on the
veranda. A worried look came over his face. One quick pour of
hot water later, and it was confirmed: P-chan was still a pig.
"Dunno _what_ she'd have done to ya if she found out about your
curse, Ryouga, but it don't look like she's gonna now. You're
cured too, 'a course," said Ranma as he poured cold water on
Ryouga. To everyone's surprise, Ryouga turned into a second
P-chan. "Oh-kay, mebbe not."
P-chan Two bwee'd. P-chan One said, "Awp! You can't talk?"
"'O course not," said Ranma. "You couldn't before, and Akane
ain't said nothin' about this P-chan talkin'. Yet."
"Ranma!" said P-chan One angrily. "This is all your fault!
You've got to get Akane to get me back to normal!" P-chan Two
bwee'd in agreement.
- - - - - - - - - -
Elsewhere, Q and Akane played hide and seek, appearing and
disappearing from Tokyo Tower, Jusenkyou, Phoenix Mountain, and
the surface of the moon. Q gestured to the stars above.
"You see, my dear? All this is yours to experience."
Akane smiled. But a small voice within her wished Ranma was there
to share the experience.
Ranma appeared next to Akane and started to asphyxiate.
"Oops! Sorry!"
Ranma disappeared again. Akane blushed.
- - - - - - - - - -
When Akane and Q returned, Ranma stood, shaking his head, looking
down at Ryouga, who was bedded down on the floor.
"Ryouga's sick, Akane. He came down with somethin' or other.
Can you just make him back to _normal_ again?" Ranma carefully
emphasized the word.
"Sure!" Akane smiled, glad that she'd been able to help Ranma's
friend. Unnoticed by Akane, P-chan One disappeared. Ranma
helped Ryouga to his feet, making a show of checking Ryouga's
forehead.
"Thank you, Ranma. You're a true friend," said Ryouga.
Ranma smirked. "Mighta worked better'n I thought," he said to
himself.
- - - - - - - - - -
"You don't want to come back to the Q continuum with me?" Q asked
in surprise. "Very well. You have it within you to refrain from
using the power of Q. If you can do that, you can remain here.
Otherwise, you must return with me to the Q continuum." Q gazed
into Akane's eyes with unwonted seriousness.
Nabiki raised one eyebrow.
Akane glanced quickly at Ranma and blushed a bit. "I... want to
stay here, with... my family," she said. "If I have to not use
this stupid power in order to do that, then that's what I'll do!"
Ranma looked at Akane quizzically. "Ya sure? Not that I care
if you go or nothin'!"
Akane rolled her eyes.
"Except that my heart would be broken if you left," added Ranma
as he took Akane's hand gently, the sunlight reflecting off his
handsome smile.
Nabiki snickered.
Q asked, "And when were you planning to start refraining from the
use of your power?"
Akane reddened. "Hey! That was just an accident!"
"You're _sure_ you can refrain?" Q asked drily.
"YES!" Akane turned towards the gaijin and started to get angry.
Just then, Shampoo and Ukyou appeared in the veranda.
"Airen getting hungry?" Shampoo held up a ramen holder.
"Ranchan, I bet you'd like a quick snack!" Ukyou winked and set
up a grill.
Akane steamed, then dashed into the kitchen. Everyone else grew
nervous as clanking sounds started to emerge from the kitchen
door. Ranma, Kasumi, and Nabiki peered into the kitchen, to see
Akane hard at work.
Finally, it was done. Akane produced a plate of cookies and set
them before Ranma, her face alight with anxious anticipation.
Nervously, Ranma took a tentative bite. Then another, and
another. Then he quickly gobbled up the entire plate. "Wow,
Agane, bese are 'ericious," he got out, spitting crumbs.
Everyone turned and stared at Akane. Nabiki snickered again.
Akane reddened. Q shook his head sadly.
Akane lowered her head momentarily. When she looked up, she had
tears in her eyes. "Ranma," Akane cried, sobbing, "I can't deny
it any longer. I am Q. I have to go; I can't stay here with
you."
"YES!" said Ukyou and Shampoo to themselves in unison, pumping
their arms.
"Wait a minute, Akane," said Nabiki slowly. "There's nothing
you can't do, right? He said so." Nabiki indicated Q. "So you
can stay if you want. Hell, you can stay AND go if you want."
Q gnashed his teeth. "Curses! Foiled again!" he exclaimed as he
disappeared.
"Oh, okay." Akane smiled. "Then I'll stay!"
And she did. And Akane lived happily ever after (though Ranma,
though happy, lived somewhat less happily than did Akane).
THE END.
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