Much Ado

A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic
    by HKMiller
    Original version 11 March 1998
    Revised - 13 April 1998: Epilog moved and modified, other changes.
    Cleanup 17 May 1998

All characters copyright Rumiko Takahashi and licensees:
Shogakukan in Japan and Viz Communications in the USA.
No disrespect intended by my unlicensed usage.

Lemon-scent warning, though this is only a little more
suggestive than the manga.

Time:  A few days after the end of volume 38.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Morning.  The Saotomes' room at the Tendo Dojo.  Ranma is kneeling,
facing Genma and Nodoka, who are also kneeling.

Genma:    Boy, listen up.  Your mother and I have something to say.

Ranma:    ....

Nodoka:   Ranma, you and Akane are almost married.  You would *BE*
          married now if things had gone a little differently last
          week.

Genma:    It's time for you to start practicing the honorable
          tradition of yobai, or 'night crawling'.

Ranma:    Yobai?  What's that?

Nodoka:   Traditionally, manly men sneak into their fiancee's bedrooms
          at night.  Ranma, it would be very manly of you to sneak
          into Akane's room tonight and seduce her with your masculine
          charms.

Ranma:    Nani?!

Genma:    That's right, boy.  Tonight.  Your mother and I want to see 
          you sneak into Akane's bedroom through the window.  We'll 
          be outside watching.  Spend the night and sneak out just 
          before sunrise.

Ranma:    !  o O (She'll be furious!  ...  No, maybe not.  I'll have to
          explain it to her when I sneak in tonight... No, then she
          *will* be furious and won't listen... Ah!  I know!  I'll tell
          her *ahead* of time and we'll *both* decide what to do!  Yatta!
          What a genius I am...)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Ranma and Akane are walking to school.  Ranma is on the fence, then 
suddenly looks around to make sure no other students are within hearing
range.  Then he jumps down and starts walking next to Akane.

Ranma:    Anoo...

Akane:    o O (Ranma is polite today.)

Akane:    What is it, (Sudden impulse, then devilish grin.) ...Anata ?

Ranma:    !   (Sweat drop)

Ranma:    Umm.  Well, my parents...  want to see more manly behavior...

Ranma:    (Hurriedly) Akane, I need to sneak into your bedroom tonight
          through the window, and spend the night in your room.

Akane:    What?  (blushing)  o O (Does he really want to?)

(Looks suspiciously at Ranma)

Akane:    What's going on, you hentai?  Do you really want to do this?
          Stay overnight in a tomboy's room?

Ranma:    (Looks abashedly at Akane for a moment, then down at the 
          ground as he speaks.)  Well.... I...  sort of.....ummm.....
          really want to, that is, if you don't mind...  But anyway 
          my parents... So if you refuse, I'll have to sneak through
          your room and spend the night on the roof.

Akane:    Ranma, it's supposed to rain tonight!  All night!

Ranma:    Oh yeah....

Akane:    Anyway, of course you can stay in my room tonight.  Baka!
          If things had gone differently a few days ago, it would 
          *be* your room now.  (Blush)  Tap on my window and I'll
          unlock it.

Ranma:    I'll come after your lights are out.  My mother especially
          wants to see me sneak in, so you'll have to pretend to be
          asleep.  

Akane:    Ranma...Thanks for asking first.  You're getting better.

Ranma:    ....

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
During the schoolday, we see Ranma unable to concentrate at various
endeavors.  Once he pictures Akane slowly slipping off a bathrobe.  
Another time we see him recalling her first meeting with his male 
body, both of them naked in the bathroom.  Another time he remembers
when he spent the night on the floor in her room while Ranma and Akane
were pretending to be married to fool Ukyou.  He spent that night lying
on the floor,looking at the ceiling, unable to sleep.

Ranma:    o O (...nothin's goin' to happen.  I'll just end up 
          sleeping on the floor...)

Akane is having similar trouble concentrating early on.  Then we see 
her and other girls, including Ukyou, sitting in a group in PE class
watching a volleyball game between other teams.

Girl #1:  Did you hear about Miyuki-chan?

Yuka:	    She's not in school today.  Is she sick?

Girl #1:  She and her boyfriend were alone, and he got excited, 
          and wouldn't stop!  No protection at all!

Sayura:   I heard she got pregnant and she's having an abortion!

Girl #1:  I heard she's going to marry him and have the baby!

Girl #2:  I heard her parents were angry and won't let them see 
          each other again!

Akane:    ....

Girl #1:  Nee, Akane-chan, Ukyou-chan, you're so lucky.  What do you
          do when Ranma-kun gets too excited?  A glass of water?

Girls 1 & 2, Yuka, and Sayura all giggle.  Ukyou looks a bit angry.

Akane:    It's not like that!

Akane:    o O (But maybe it will be tonight.  I wonder if I *should* 
          have a glass of water handy?  Ranma is too thoughtless 
          to bring "protection", that's for sure.)

Ukyou:    (Angrily, to Girl #1)  Ran-chan has perfect control!  
          He'd stop in a moment if I asked him to!  (In a lower 
          voice)  That is, if we ever got that far...

Akane gives Ukyou the big, flat-eyed look.

Ukyou:    (Leans over to whisper to Akane.)  Umm, he does, doesn't he?
          Do you ever have to use water?

Akane:    ....

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
That night.  Akane's bedroom, lights out.  Akane, dressed in cute
pajamas, is awake, sitting upright on her bed, anxious.  Suddenly
she hears the tap.  She jumps up and goes to the window and unlocks 
it.  Ranma hops in and Akane re-locks the window.  They turn and 
look towards each other, but it's too dark for them to see each other.
Akane gropes with both hands, which promptly enclose onna-Ranma's 
breasts.  We can now see that Ranma is quite damp, and dressed in the
usual Chinese clothes.  Akane starts to feel around, one hand giving 
a squeeze, then realizes what she's holding.  She blushes and 
immediately drops her hands.

Akane:    Ummm, you're a girl.  And you're wet.

Ranma:    Tonight's rain, remember?  It suddenly started while I was
          out there.  I doubt Mom and Pop even noticed, under the tree.

They look at each other.  The moon comes out from behind a cloud,
and now they can see each other dimly.

Ranma:    I'll run down to the kitchen quick for hot water, but 
          I'll have to do it sneakily so Mom and Pop don't know 
          I left your room.

Akane:    !!

Akane:    No, just stay here as you are.  But you need to get dry
          first.  Take those wet clothes off.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Now we see onna-Ranma standing in damp, sleeveless t-shirt and boxer
shorts.  Akane finishes hanging Ranma's clothes and arranging 
plastic underneath them.  She produces a towel from her closet.

Akane:    You're still not dry.  Take those off a moment and use
          this towel.

Ranma grumbles but strips and dries herself off.  Akane takes the
damp underwear and hangs it.

Akane:    Do you want to go to bed naked like that, or do you 
          want to wear some of my pajamas?

Ranma:    I'd look like a girl if I wore pajamas like yours!

Akane:    .  And of course, no one could
          *possibly* mistake what you are now...

Ranma:    (Dark look)  I'll just go to bed like this...

Ranma looks directly at the rest of the room for the first time.  
Instead of Akane's accustomed twin bed and adequate floor space, 
now we see a queen-size bed occupying most of the floor space in 
Akane's room.

Ranma:    Anoo.... Akane?  Your bed?

Akane:    It was there when I got home from school this afternoon.
          Father just said that we'd need it someday, so why not 
          get it now.  Nabiki-oneechan said it was on sale.  I
          don't know if father is conspiring with your parents,
          but it doesn't matter much.

Akane:    Anyway, just get in.

Ranma turns to look at Akane, very surprised.  Akane doesn't notice
as she's climbing into bed.  After a moment, Ranma gingerly
climbs onto the bed.  For a moment neither says anything.
Akane is sitting up, under the covers.  Ranma is kneeling on top of
the covers, in the middle of the bed.  They look at each other 
wordlessly for a minute.

Ranma:    Akane?  Are you... disappointed that I'm a girl this 
          time?  Do you really want me to go change back?

Akane:    (Looks up at ceiling and sighs.)  Ranma...  to tell the
          truth, I was really thinking that maybe, this time, it 
          would be better...  safer.  Today at school...

(She recounts the earlier conversation between the girls at school,
leaving out Ukyou's contribution.)

Akane:    So anyway... I had a glass of water ready beside the bed.

Ranma:    .....   O o (She really thought we might go that far?  
          Is she willing?  Oh boy... I don't know if I could
          control myself if I were a guy right now...)

Akane:    (Nervously)  Umm, would you like me to rub your back?

Ranma:    Sounds nice.  (flips around.  Akane approaches and gives
          a shoulder and back rub, both of them kneeling up.  As
          she finishes...)

Ranma:    Ah, that felt good.  I was more tensed up about this than
          I realized.  Do you want me to rub yours?

Akane:    Hai.  To tell the truth, I was nervous all day during 
          class...

Ranma starts to rub Akane's back.

(Ranma finishes.  For a moment they just look at each other, Akane
over her left shoulder.  Both are clearly still hesitant.  Then, 
Akane first, they both climb under the covers, Ranma carefully 
not touching Akane.  A long pause.)

Ranma:    Akane, ... err....do you want me to hug you in 
          this state?

Akane:    (Usual blush) Dummy!  We're both girls and 

Akane:    (Suddenly realizes)  o O (OH!)

Ranma:    ....Nobody is watching.

Akane:    (Smiles in the dark.  Whispers)  Ranma, please hug me.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A bit later...

Ranma:    Akane...  I'm not quite sure how to say this...
          Please, promise me that you won't do anything tonight 
          you'll regret in the morning, and that you won't let me
          do anything you think of as "hentai", okay?

Akane:    Ranma...  That's very thoughtful of you.  Thanks.  I 
          promise.  And if you *do* do anything "hentai", you
          can be sure that I'll let you know!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Still later...

Ranma and Akane are still hugging.  Akane is now missing her pajama top. 
Ranma's hands are roaming around, but Akane's are not.

Akane:    Ranma, are you really... attracted ?  Excited?  Do you
          really like my chest?  Yours are bigger... I always thought 
          you wouldn't like mine at all.

Ranma:    Yours feel different.  Silky.  Pleasant.  Exciting.  
          Mine aren't exciting.  But I don't know how excited I am;
          how do you tell in this body?

Akane:    (blushing)  Dummy!  These parts here perk up and get
          hard...  like yours are now...

Ranma:    ...I see what you mean.  Mine (moves hand and checks)
          are very hard.  Yours are only a bit harder than mine
          are normally.  You aren't excited...

Akane:    No, but I'm very happy just being here with you and 
          knowing that you lo..  I mean, that you really like 
          being here with me and you like me and you like my body.

Ranma:    ....  (Brief pause)  Go ahead and say it, Akane.  Hai.  
          S'ki da.  I love you.
 
Akane:    Oh, Ranma!  (Tightens her hug, sheds a few tears of 
          happiness.)  S'ki da mo.

A pause ensues.  Both hug each other tightly.  More time passes.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
(Later.  Cut to:  Nabiki's room.  We see Nabiki lying in bed awake,
staring at the ceiling.)

Nabiki:   o O (I'm sure that was Ranma's girl voice coming from Akane's
          room.  Damn!  I knew I should have had an infrared video
          camera mounted in Akane's room today.  Knowing those two,
          who knows when tonight will be repeated?  I wonder...
          if I sneak into Akane's room with my camera about 4 am? )

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Morning, at the Tendo-ke.  Akane awakens slowly.  She sits up, 
looks around.

Akane:    o O (Ranma's gone.  Oh, right... She was supposed to 
          sneak out while it was still dark.  Well, I'll see him 
          at breakfast.)

Akane goes through her morning ablutions pensively.

Akane:    o O (Ranma and I actually...  did that... last night.
          I hope Ranma enjoyed it...  Our first time...)

          o O (It was nice with Ranma as a girl.  Relaxing.  No
          urgency.  Male Ranma would have been... scary.)

Akane's eyes widen at herself in the mirror.

          o O (I  never thought of myself as that kind of girl!
          What will my friends think?!?  I'm not...  am I? )

          o O (Calm down.  They don't know.  Nobody knows except
          Ranma and I.  And he wouldn't tell... would he?)

          o O (He *is* a hentai boy... maybe he'll boast to his
          friends... and if they ask which gender he was at the
          time, even as a joke, he'll never be able to hide it...)

          o O (If I ask Ranma not to say anything, he'll want to
          know why, and it'll all come out... and I promised I
          wouldn't regret anything.  OHHH!  Now what'll I do?)

Akane doesn't speak much during breakfast.  Ranma, on the other hand,
is in fine form.

Ranma:    Hey, old man!  You were sloppy this morning.  You didn't 
          even knock me into the pond!

Nodoka:   (smiling) I think it's you, Ranma.  You seem more relaxed
          and energetic this morning.

Nabiki:   I *can't imagine* why...did you do something especially
          relaxing last night, Ranma-kun?  Anything you'd care to
          tell us about?

Ranma manages to not blush at any of this.  Akane, on the other hand,
is blushing faintly.  Neither Soun nor Kasumi appear to notice, as 
they're both studying Ranma.

Ranma:    Naw.  Just being myself.  Maybe it's the weather; it does
          look like a great day.  Or you really are getting old, Pop.

Akane:    o O (How would I feel if Ranma had been male, and we'd done
          the same thing?  ...kind of strange, but I wouldn't be
          afraid of my classmates finding out.  Some of them are eager
          to tell about things like that with their boyfriends.)

Akane studies Ranma for a bit, looking sideways.

          o O (I can kind of imagine how it would be with male-Ranma.
          Different, less relaxing perhaps, but maybe kind of...
          triumphant.  Exhilarating.  Thrilling.  Frightening.
          I wonder if I'm ready...)

Nabiki hurries away to school ahead of Ranma and Akane.  During the 
walk to school:

Akane:    o O (It'd be nice to have a girlfriend I could talk this
          over with.  My feelings are so confusing.  But who?
          Not Yuka or Sayura; they'd never understand.  They'll think
          I'm a pervert and maybe tell the whole school.  Who?)

Ranma:    o O (Akane sure is quiet today.)  Akane, you alright?  
          You're not... mad about... last night..., are you?

Akane:    (Quickly) Oh, no, Ranma.  Whatever would give you that 
          idea?  Last night was lovely.  (Looks up at Ranma on the
          fence impishly.)  How did *you* like it?

Ranma:    (Huge smile)  Won-der-ful!  Akane, thanks.  I feel like
          a million yen today.

Akane:    (Cute smile)  Really?  I'm glad.  
          o O (Ranma liked it... a lot.  I like seeing him happy...)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
Cut to:  the Tendo-Ke.  Nodoka approaches Soun and Genma, who are 
playing shogi.

Nodoka:   Anata, Tendo-san, please excuse me.  I have a question.

Soun looks up briefly, an eyebrow raised.  Genma quickly moves a
couple of pieces, then looks up at Nodoka.

Nodoka:   The two of you have been discussing Ranma and Akane's 
          engagement for seventeen years now, but I have not been 
          privy to most of these discussions.  I am sure that you 
          have long since settled the question that has been 
          bothering me:  which family name will the marriage
          be registered under, Saotome or Tendo?

Soun and Genma just stare at Nodoka, not saying anything.  Nodoka
looks a bit disconcerted, but continues.

Nodoka:   The usual practice in your case, Tendo-san, where you
          have a flourishing family business but no male heirs, is
          to adopt a fiancee for one of your daughters, a younger
          son from a family in the same business.  However, in our
          case Ranma is not a younger son, he is our only son, the
          only one to carry on the Saotome name.  In such a case, 
          two revered Japanese traditions conflict.  I wish to know
          what the two of you have decided.

Soun and Genma both frown a bit, then respond simultaneously:

Soun:	    Why, they will marry under the Tendo name, of course.

Genma:    Naturally the two will carry on the proud Saotome name.

We see Soun and Genma turn to each other, angry expressions on their
faces.  Nodoka looks stunned as two voices increase in volume.

Soun:	    The Tendo Dojo is *not* going to change names, now or
          ever!

Genma:    There has been a Saotome School of Martial Arts for
          hundreds of years!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
We see Ranma and Akane reaching the gates of Furikan High School.
They meet Ukyou just at the entrance and enter together.  Ukyou is
dressed as usual in her boy's school uniform, and is smiling.

Ukyou:    Ohayo, Ran-chan, Akane-chan.  How are you guys?

Ranma:    Great, Ucchan!  How are you?  How was business last night?

Akane:    Oh, Ukyou, ohayo!   (Starts slightly) 
          o O (Ukyou... *she* certainly can't say anything bad 
          about me, and probably won't think anything bad, either.
          I've always thought she's been less bothered by the curse
          than any of us.  And she *is* one of my best friends.
          But can I tell Ukyou what we did?  Won't that hurt her?
          ...Then again, it's only been days since that wedding
          fiasco she was part of; maybe I *should* hurt her a bit.)

Ranma:    Hey, what are Nabiki and Kunou doing over there?

The two girls look over where Ranma is pointing.  Under a tree way
off to the side, Nabiki is holding up fingers while Kunou is looking 
closely at several small pieces of paper in his hand.

Ranma and Akane:  Uh oh.... (Look at each other)  She wouldn't...

The two dash off towards Nabiki and Kuno, leaving Ukyou.

Ukyou:    o O (Wonder what's so different about those photos?
          I thought Ran-chan and Akane stopped caring about most
          of those photos months ago.)

Ukyou looks after Ranma and Akane as she continues to walk into
the school.

Ukyou:    o O (To get that reaction, Nabiki would have to be
          selling photos with both Akane and girl Ran-chan,
          somehow looking inviting to the camera...)

          (aloud) OH!  (gradually grins)

          o O (Of course.  Akane *did* use the water last night.
          Nabiki snuck in and took photos of Akane and Ran-chan
          as a girl in bed together.)  (snickers briefly)

Ukyou loses the grin, though, and starts to look sad.

          o O (I've never slept in the same bed with Ran-chan,
          even as a girl...)

Ukyou spends the morning in classes looking back and forth slowly
between Ranma and Akane, a sad expression on her face.  
Ranma is still as happy and expansive as Ukyou's seen him; he 
actually raises his hand to answer questions once or twice.  Akane
is still pensive.  When lunchtime comes:

Akane:    Ranma, you go ahead with your friends.  I want to have
          lunch with Ukyou today.

Ranma:    Sure, Akane.  Whatever.  Have fun, Ucchan!  (winks at
          Akane)  See ya later.

Ukyou:    Umm, Akane....  Where should we sit?  
          o O (Does she want to talk about it?  Why else?)

Akane:    (Nervously)  Let's go outside and get away from these guys.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cut to:  Nabiki strolling through groups of students sitting on the
outside lawn eating lunch, apparently looking for one in particular.
She spots him, and strolls up, not looking at him directly.

Nabiki:   Gosunkugi-chan.  I may have a proposition for you.

Gosunkugi: Huh?  Nabiki-sempai?  Wha-what do you want?  I'm paid 
           up, aren't I?

Nabiki:   Yes, you're paid up; I'm not telling your mother about
          you-know-what.  Now, though:  you own a copy of "E-Z 
          Illustrated Sex", right, volumes one and two, fourth 
          edition?  I know you peruse it in class occasionally,
          concealed behind your textbook.

Gosunkugi: (turns white)  H-h-h-hai...

Nabiki:   Now, I just happened to be down at the bookstore yesterday,
          and I'm sure I saw the fifth edition on display.  Your
          copies are obsolete.  Despite this, I'd be willing to take
          them off your hands for 30% of the list price...

Gosunkugi: Obsolete?  Newer editions?  I've got to have them...  
           Sure, Nabiki!  30% for the old ones is very generous 
           of you.  I have them right here...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cut to:  lunchtime at the Tendo-Ke.  Loud voices echo through the
yard.  In the kitchen, Kasumi and Nodoka look at each other in
exasperation.

Soun:	    'Tendo' is easier for Ranma and Akane to write! It's
          only two characters, versus three for 'Saotome'!

Genma:    But the total stroke count is lower with Saotome!
          All three characters in 'Saotome' take only ten
          strokes to write, while 'Tendo' takes sixteen,
          so Ranma and Akane will find it easier to write
          their name as 'Saotome'!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
We see Akane and Ukyou settle down against one of the schools' 
outside walls, as far from other groups of students as they can get.

Ukyou:    o O (Is she going to gloat?  That's not like Akane.)  
          Akane?  Did you catch up with Nabiki and Kuno this
          morning?  What were the photos?

Akane:    (blushes very red)  We missed seeing the photos, but 
          judging by Nabiki's reaction before she got away...
          (looks down, speaks quietly, blushes) ... we think 
          they were of Ranma, as a girl, and me...  in the same
          bed... sleeping...

Ukyou:    Oh.  You and Ran-chan... slept together... last night?
          Why tell me?

Akane:    (blushes furiously)  Ukyou...  I know this may hurt you
          a bit, but I really need to talk to someone, and I don't
          think my other girlfriends can really understand.
          o O (and I certainly wouldn't talk to Shampoo about this!)

Ukyou:    ... I'm glad you still consider me a friend after the 
          wedding fiasco.  I wasn't sure ...  I'm sorry about that,
          Akane.  I'm glad you weren't hurt...

Akane:    (consolingly)  Don't worry about it.  It's probably just as
          well; I still think we're too young to be married yet.
          Ukyou... I hope you'll always be Ranma's and my friend.
          I know that might be hard when, I mean if, Ranma and I
          get married.  But if anything were to ever happen to me,
          I'd like to think Ranma would marry you then. 

Ukyou:    (looks down, blushes slightly)  ...Thank you, Akane.  That
          means a lot to me.  And I want you to know... if I can't
          have him, then you're the one I'd prefer get him.  I know
          you'll take better care of him than ...
          (pauses)  Now, about last night?

Akane:    (looks down, reddens)  Well... you remember the conversation
          yesterday.  And then Ranma's parents made him spend last
          night in my room, sneaking in through the window.  It was
          supposed to be more "manly" somehow, some old tradition
          neither Ranma nor I ever heard of.  (Shakes head)
          Sometimes I don't know where Ranma's mother gets her 
          ideas about manliness...  Anyway, it was raining 
          outside and Ranma was already a girl when she came into
          my room.  I was relieved at first.  We crawled into bed ....
          (turns to look at Ukyou's face, sadly) ... and cuddled a
          bit ... and did a few... things... (looks down and blushes
          furiously)

Ukyou's face slips noticeably at these last words.  Her eyes moisten.
She looks away briefly, then back.

Ukyou:    o O (I've never... Has Ranma decided, then?)

Akane:    I always thought that Ranma wouldn't be very enthusiastic
          as a girl, that she wouldn't get ... excited ... at being
          with another girl.  I don't know why I thought that, but
          it wasn't true.  Ranma became very excited anyway.  (pauses)

Ukyou:    (mulls it over)  Well, that makes sense...  Certainly I've
          always thought of Ranma, even in girl form, as a boy...  
          So do you.  You've told me you won't undress around "her",
          and that time when Ranma was sneaking into the girls'
          locker room, you were mad at him...

Akane:    Well, ... yes, I've always treated both of Ranma's bodies
          as a boy for things like that, but...
	
          (looks down.  after a pause, resumes in very faint voice)
          I promised Ranma that I wouldn't do anything that I'd 
          regret, or that I thought of as "hentai", but now I feel...
          funny.  Most of the school, if they knew...
          And I can't let Ranma know that I feel this way...
          I wanted to talk it over with someone who'd understand...

Neither girl says anything for a bit.  Akane looks at the ground.  
Ukyou looks at Akane for a bit, then at the ground, then realizes 
that she should say something.

Ukyou:    Akane... I do understand.  I won't tell. (impish smile)
          I really think you're worried about nothing there;
          I think most of the girls in school secretly envy both of
          us, because they think Ranma knows what we feel.

          (sadly) I only hope I get the chance someday to find out
          if they're right...

Akane:    (faint voice, as if to herself) ...they're not wrong...

          (brief, reminiscent smile, then continues) 
          Sometimes...  Ranma's curse does bother me, though I 
          say it doesn't.  It bothered me a lot when he first 
          got here.  But I don't think it has ever bothered you.

          Ukyou, how do you feel about going to bed with girl-Ranma?
          His wife might have to; Ranma could get trapped as a girl
          for a long time again; it's already happened three times.

Ukyou:    Every time I daydream about being married to Ran-chan,
          it's always the male Ranma.  Except for taking care of
          the kids; somehow Ran-chan seems like a better babysitter
          as a woman.   Akane, it's the male Ranma that attracts me.
          He has that *smile*, those *muscles*...

Akane and Ukyou grin at each other briefly.

Ukyou:    But Ran-chan's girl form is equally a part of him.  If I'm
          his wife, it's my duty to do whatever he wants, and I
          hope I'll always enjoy making Ran-chan feel good.
          ...I always thought Ran-chan's girl form would make a nice,
          occasional, change of pace:  if, Ran-chan ever got, oh...
          impatient or automatic about it, that it would be a way
          to get him to stop taking me for granted, to appreciate
          me again.

Akane:    Hmm...  (ponders briefly)  Nabiki-oneechan once said something
          about Ranma's and my marriage never being boring.  At 
          the time I thought that was a very perverted thing to say.
          But really... marriage means decades... we'll change so 
          much in some ways...  we'll *need* ways to not be bored...

          (thinks some more, grins briefly) ...Ranma babysitting...

          (brief pause)  Ukyou, I'm sorry to just use you like this,
          to console myself, when it must hurt you so much.

Ukyou:    It does hurt, Akane, but it's sort of a sweet, pleasant 
          hurt.  It makes me feel... closer... to you and
          to Ran-chan, to know what you two do.  Please, in
          the future, if you want to talk some more, or to share 
          things, don't hesitate.  I'll be happy to listen, and give
          advice if you want.  (faint voice) Will you... be with 
          Ran-chan again tonight?

Akane:    (blushes) Well, Ranma liked it, and he asked if he can 
          sneak back in on other nights.  He hasn't asked about 
          tonight yet.  (looks away) I told him... not as a boy 
          until he gets some "protection."

Ukyou:    Akane, I... have to keep trying with Ran-chan, you
          understand.  I think he does like you more than he does
          me, for now at least, and he is very honorable, but...
          he *is* a teenage boy...  I may get him into my bed too.
          How will you feel if that happens?  Would you want me
          to tell you?

Akane:    ....  (pause, small voice)  ...I don't know how I'd feel. 
          (another pause)  It's hard enough being sure how I feel
          right now...

Ukyou:    (slowly, reluctantly, starting to cry a bit)
          ...Akane, please, make Ran-chan as happy as you can...
          I will if I ever get the chance...

Akane:    Ukyou...  (leans over and gives Ukyou a brief hug)  You're
          the best...  I'd never be so nice if I were in your shoes.
          Sometimes...  I just wish we could both win.

Voice:    What a haul!  What a haul!

Happosai glomps onto Akane.  The view expands slightly and we can see
a wet, angry onna-Ranma running up.  Akane, furious, winds up to hit
Happosai, but before she swings, he's gone.  Now he's glomping Ukyou.

Akane:    RANMA!!!  Why did you chase him over here!?!

Ranma:    Nani?  Why did I... ?!?!

Ukyou gets up slowly with Happosai still glomped and reaches for her
combat spatula.

Ukyou:    (Annoyed tone) I'm not sure what you think you're feeling
          through my breast bindings, old man, but...

She swings and bats Happosai up and out of the school yard.  We can see
Happosai holding something white.  Ranma and Akane both look at her, 
and are a bit surprised at what they see.

Akane:    Ukyou?  Your chest...

Ranma:    Ucchan?  He got you....

Ukyou feels something funny and looks down.  Her boy's school uniform
looks untouched; her bandolier of spatulas is in place; but her chest,
instead of the trim boy's look she normally has at school, now looks
more like onna-Ranma's.  She quickly peeks, unbuttoning the top two
buttons of her shirt.

Ukyou:    I don't believe it!  How did he do that?  My breast binding
          is gone!

Akane and Ranma look at the exposed cleavage, Akane in surprise
and horror, Ranma with another expression.  Ukyou looks up in time to 
catch Ranma looking before Ranma turns away.

Ranma:    (hand on back of head, looking up in the sky in the direction
          Happosai flew)  Gee, do we have enough time to get it back
          before class?

We see students all over the schoolyard getting up, picking up their
trash, and moving back inside the building.

Akane:    We've got two minutes to get into our seats.

Ukyou:    (blushing)  I've never sat in school before like this...

Ranma:    Oh, don't worry, Ucchan!  You look great!  You'll have all
          the guys looking at you!

Akane:    Ranma, get out of here!  I want one last word with Ukyou.
          (swings back leg in preparation for place-kicking Ranma,
          but Ranma gets the message and runs away towards the school,
          looking back...)

Ranma:    (sticks out tongue at Akane)  Nyahhh, dumb tomboy!
          (smiles and winks at Akane to show he didn't really mean it,
          waves at Ukyou)
          See you in class, Ucchan!

Akane:    Anyway...  Thanks for listening and everything, Ukyou.  I'm
          sorry about what Happosai-ojiisan did.  I never like it when
          most boys look at me like that, so I can imagine what you may
          be feeling...

Ukyou:    (grits teeth)  I-I'll get through the rest of the day...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
We see various scenes from the remainder of the school day:  Daisuke and
Hiroshi and other boys leering at Ukyou; blanched faces on a few boys
later as they look cross-eyed at spatulas embedded in their desks in front
of their noses; Ranma, now male, grinning, glancing from time to time over
at Ukyou when he thinks Akane isn't looking; Ukyou smiling prettily back
at Ranma when she catches him glancing; Ranma also glancing at Akane from
time to time, with a reminiscent smile on his face.

Akane:    o O (furiously, clenching fist) (If he thinks I can't see him
          ogle Ukyou...)

Akane:    o O (Consciously unclenching her fist)  (I really shouldn't be
          so furious.  It's not as if it's her fault she's showing off
          like that.  And he's looking at me more than her...  Anyway,
          I have to stop being jealous whenever he pays attention to
          Ukyou if we're all going to be friends forever...  I know
          Ranma really loves me more; I just have to keep repeating
          that...)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
After school.  Akane, Ukyou, and a wet onna-Ranma walk out of the
school gates.  Ranma doesn't look happy.

Ukyou:    What are you so upset about?  Those guys are just jealous.
          You know, you're living most guys' dream:  with two,
          okay, four, beautiful women who love you...

Akane:    (smirks) Of course, you're not precisely a guy right now...

Ranma:    It's not really those jokers, it's...  the strain of
          keeping my mouth shut.  I just keep catching myself short
          of saying something stupid, something that will simultaneously
          get you, Akane, angry, and you, Ucchan, embarrassed, and
          you'll both hit me at the same time.

Akane:    Ranma, please.  What could you possibly say that would 
          simultaneously get me angry and embarrass Ukyou?

Ranma:    That's easy, you dumb tom..  I mean, all I have to say
          is... (turns to Ukyou)  "Gee Ukyou, your chest is so
          much bigger than Akane's."

Akane:    RANMA NO BAKA!					(Mallet WHAM!)

Ukyou:    Oh, Ran-chan, you're embarrassing me!       (Spatula WHAM!)

Akane and Ukyou watch Ranma soar up into the air.

Ukyou:    Gee, I think he's going to set a new distance record...
          Anyway, I have to get to the restaurant, Akane.  Ho na!
          (Ukyou waves, runs off)

Akane:    Ja ne!

Akane stands still, gradually cooling down.  Timing her entrance
precisely, Nabiki strolls up.

Nabiki:   So, Akane.  Clearly it was good for Ranma-kun; was it
          good for you too?  If not, I have just acquired some
          merchandise you may be interested in....

Nabiki lets Akane look into a brown, book-sized paper sack.  Akane blushes
furiously.

Akane:    Nabiki!  I can't keep those in my room at the house!  Wha- what
          if Father, or Kasumi-oneechan found them?  Or Happosai!

Nabiki:   (Raises eyebrow)  Well, there are ways...  You'll notice that
          volume two is on a topic you may find especially... appropriate.

Akane looks at the cover of "E-Z Illustrated Sex", volume two, without
taking either volume out of Nabiki's brown paper bag.  Where volume one
has a man and a woman on the cover, volume two shows two women.  Akane
blushes redder than Nabiki has ever seen her, and doesn't seem to be able
to think of anything to say.

Nabiki:   Since you're my own sister, and since I've already made some
          money off of this situation, I'll let you have the pair of
          these for, say, 70 percent of list price?

Akane's jaw drops two inches.  She clearly can't believe she's getting
such a deal from Nabiki.

Akane:    o O (...Ranma might like it even more if I knew what I was
          doing...)

Akane:    Well, okay, but *NOT A WORD TO ANYONE!*  Do you understand?

Nabiki:   (raises eyebrow) Me?  Of course, Akane.  I'm the soul of
          discretion with merchandise like this.  I'll even throw in
          some advice:  if you don't want to keep it in your room at
          the house, why don't you ask Ukyou if she'll keep them for
          you at her place?  Nobody'll see them there.  Maybe she'll
          even split the cost with you.

Akane looks blank for a moment, then slowly nods.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
Cut to:  the Kunou mansion.  Kunou Tatewaki, in his room surrounded by
photos of Akane and the pig-tailed girl, is looking at a blow-up of a new
photo of Akane and onna-Ranma in bed together, sleeping side by side.
The blow-up is about 1 meter square.

Kunou:    Ah, my lovely goddesses...  To think you were both waiting
          for me to join you last night, and you forgot to inform me!
          And you both fell asleep waiting for me to appear!  Well,
          wait no longer.  Tonight I shall appear before you both,
          and your long-unsatisfied yearnings will be fulfilled.

          o O (Perhaps if I appear at the Tendo Dojo with some flowers,
          about 9 o'clock?  Or perhaps if I wait until midnight, and
          serenade both of my lovelies from below Akane's bedroom
          window?  Yes...  perhaps I should also bring a ladder, just
          in case...)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cut to:  A bookstore downtown.  Gosunkugi is frantically looking at the
shelves.

Bookseller:  The fifth edition?  No, I don't think I've seen that;
          the fourth edition is less than a year old.  Let me check...
          Our book forecast goes forward for 9 months, and there's no
          fifth edition listed for that time.

Gosunkugi:  (grinds teeth)  Very well, then I'll buy the fourth...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cut to:  Ucchan's Okonomiyaki.  Ukyou slides the door open and walks in,
looking depressed.  Konatsu is there, in "her" kimono, almost immediately
on "her" knees, bowing, wanting to know what's wrong.

Konatsu:  Ukyou-sama!  Please cheer up!  What's wrong?  I have everything
          ready for the restaurant opening!

Ukyou:    Yes, I'm sure you do.  Nothing's wrong, really.  It's just...
          that old lecher...

Konatsu:  (Notices Ukyou's chest sticking out)

          Ukyou-sama!  Did that evil old man molest you?

Ukyou:    Nothing he doesn't do to practically every girl in school,
          and more to Ran-chan.  He just took my breast binding, probably
          for his collection.  No, it's just that I sat through the
          whole afternoon like this, and I kept feeling that I was
          exposing myself.  Boys were staring...

          O o (On the plus side, so was Ran-chan...)

Konatsu:  That hideous fiend!  To molest Ukyou-sama and Ranma-sama
          like that!  This cannot continue!  Ukyou-sama, I'll put a
          stop to this!

Konatsu vanishes, with just a brief noise in back to indicate where he's
gone.

Ukyou:    (blinks)  No, Konatsu, don't...  Too late.  Oh well, I might
          as well get on with opening the restaurant.

Ukyou checks that the grill is heating, that the batter is ready, that the
sign is out, but, as Konatsu said, everything is ready.  She's about to go
upstairs to change into her Okonomiyaki seller's outfit when Akane appears
at the door, carrying a brown paper bag.

Ukyou:    Akane?  What brings you here now?  Come on in!

Akane:    Ukyou, umm... this is kind of embarrassing.  Can we go upstairs
          for a moment?

Ukyou:    Sure.  I was just about to go up to change anyway.

Ukyou leads Akane upstairs to her bedroom, a four-tatami, completely
unfurnished room.  Being daytime, Ukyou's futon is folded up in a closet.

Ukyou:    Sorry I don't have any chairs.  Sit on that cushion if you want.
          I hope you don't mind if I change clothes while you talk.

Akane:    Nabiki-oneechan sold me these books.  I thought they'd be useful,
          but I don't want to keep them in my room at the Dojo in case
          Otousan or Kasumi-oneechan, not to mention that pervert Happosai,
          finds them.  I thought maybe I could store them here?
          Maybe I could come over and study them occasionally?  You could
          too, of course.  Maybe we could even have a pajama study party.

Ukyou:    (Looks over "E-Z Illustrated Sex")  Hmm...  I can see your
          problem with keeping these where the old lecher might see them.
          Sure, Akane, you can keep them here; in fact, if you want I'll
          pay you half the cost, and we can both own them.  It might
          be fun to look these over together.

Akane:    Thanks, Ukyou.  You really are the best friend.  I'm sorry I
          was jealous when Ranma ogled you in school today; I'm sure
          it made you happy, and I should have been glad for you.
          I wish I could stop being so jealous all the time.

Ukyou:    (laughing) As long as you don't mind listening to me fantasize
          about doing some of the things in these books with Ran-chan.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Scene:  the Tendo Dojo, from above.  Loud voices carry through the yard.

Soun:     Tendo!  More auspicious!  A 'heavenly way' means good luck!

Genma:    Saotome!  More accurate!  They're both 'hasty girls' at times!

Happosai is ironing his collection on the veranda.  He looks up, peeved
for a moment at the commotion, then is suddenly between Soun and Genma,
twirling his pipe.  A moment later Soun and Genma are unconscious,
lying on the floor of the dining room.

Happosai:  About time I had some peace and quiet around here.

Ranma is training outdoors behind the dojo, hitting an upright wooden post
which has rope wrapped about it near the top.

Voice from roof:	Psst...

Ranma:    Eh?  (Looks up, sees Konatsu in his ninja garb on the dojo roof.
          Konatsu beckons.  Ranma hops up onto the roof.)

Ranma:    Konatsu?  What's up?

Konatsu:  Ranma-sama...  That evil old lecher stole Ukyou-sama's
          ...binding.  If you show me which is his room and distract
          him briefly, I'll sneak in and get it back.

Ranma:    (grins)  I'll be glad to do something to annoy the old freak.
          But hey; be careful, huh?  He can be really dangerous sometimes,
          and he does *NOT* like you ever since he found out you're not
          a girl.  If he catches you searching his collection...

A few minutes later, Ranma leaps into the koi pond, then trudges out,
faking disgust and scanning the rooftops as if looking for an adversary.
The top four buttons of Ranma's Chinese shirt are unbuttoned.  Ranma poses,
sideways-on to Happosai, pretending to be unaware of her exposure.

Happosai:  Sweet!  (leaps with arms outstretched)

Meanwhile Konatsu has entered Happosai's room and is on the ceiling,
looking around and trying to find Ukyou's breast binding among the
thousands of women's undergarments in the room.  Konatsu starts to sweat
when he sees how many items he has to search through.

Outside:

Ranma:    You old freak!  Come back with that!

Happosai is leaping around the yard, onto the roofs and into the trees,
keeping one jump ahead of Ranma, who is shirtless, female, and furious.
Happosai is holding Ranma's red Chinese shirt and alternately sticking
his tongue out at Ranma, holding his lower eyelid down at Ranma, and
licking his chops while staring at Ranma's chest.

Inside Happosai's room, Konatsu has searched through six trunks without,
so far, making a sound, but has not yet found what he's looking for.  He
is starting to sweat more.

Outside, Ranma stops on the edge of the house roof, puts both hands
underneath her breasts and pushes them up, posing for Happosai, who is in
a tree.

Ranma:    (making Bambi-eyes)  Oh, I need a big strong man to give me
          what I want...

Happosai leaps for Ranma, still holding Ranma's shirt.  In mid-leap, Ranma
jumps at Happosai and the two pass each other at the height of their arcs.
Ranma grabs for her shirt using the Kachu Tenshin Amaguriken, then gives
Happosai a kick to the head as they pass each other.  Ranma smirks.

Ranma:    Hah!  Gotcha, ya old lecher!  (Looks back at Happosai, sticking
          out tongue, then sees that Happosai is *still* holding Ranma's
          shirt.  Ranma looks down at her hands to see that she's
          holding a lit Happodaikarin firecracker.)

Ranma:    Ah!  Ah!    (BOOM)   (Ranma falls into the koi pond.)

Inside, Konatsu is startled by the noise of the explosion and makes a
small noise, looking up.

Outside, Happosai, suddenly suspicious, looks at the house, directly at
the wall of his room.

Back inside, Konatsu whirls to see Happosai standing just inside the room
doorway, looking furious, radiating battle aura.

Happosai:  My collection!  You!  The fake kunoichi!

Konatsu, with a sickly grin, half-heartedly tries slipping a shoulder out
of his ninja suit in a revealing fashion.  Happosai hits Konatsu through
the side of the house into the outer wall using his pipe.  Konatsu struggles
up and hurls some shuriken.  Happosai catches them all.  Konatsu whips out
some lipstick and quickly applies it to himself.

Konatsu:  Kunoichi ultimate crimson attack!!

Konatsu leaps at Happosai.  Happosai looks disgusted, but leaps also.
When both land, Happosai has several kiss marks on the top of his bald
head, but Konatsu is out cold, and one arm and one leg are lying at
strange angles.

Ranma:    (looking on from koi pond)  Oi.  I'd never try that on the old
          lecher as a guy.  I've never seen the old freak so mad.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cut to:  Ucchan's Okonomiyaki.  Ukyou is cooking for several customers.
She looks worried.  The phone rings.  Ukyou jumps slightly, then instantly
leaps over the counter to the wall by the phone and answers it.

Kasumi    (on the other end of the phone line):
          Ukyou-chan, I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but
          Konatsu-kun is in the hospital.  He'll be okay, but the
          doctors say he'll be there for several days.  He has a
          concussion and several broken bones.

Ukyou:    Oh, no!  o O (I was afraid something like this might happen.)

Kasumi:   I know you probably want to go over to the hospital yourself,
          even if you have to close the restaurant.  Dr. Tofu told me
          to say specifically that you don't have to; Konatsu really
          is okay.  Ranma, Akane, and Ranma's mother are on their way
          over to your place.  They can either help keep your restaurant
          open for you, or go with you to the hospital.

Ukyou:    Thank you, Kasumi-san.  I appreciate everyone's thoughtfulness,
          especially yours.
          o O (Right, like I'd really let Ran-chan and Akane run my
          restaurant without me after what they did last time, when I
          was sick...)

After hanging up, she goes over to the door and hangs out a "closed" sign,
but leaves the outer door cracked.  She begins careful apologies to her
longtime regulars.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cut to:  Hospital waiting room.  Nodoka, Akane, and Ukyou are sitting on
benches, having seen Konatsu.  Ranma is still chatting with Konatsu in his
room, trying to explain how *not* to fight Happosai.  Nodoka has a nice,
pleasant smile firmly in place throughout the following conversation.

Nodoka:   I'm really very pleased to meet Ranma's other fiancee again,
          Kuonji-san.  I'm afraid I didn't get much of a chance to get
          to know you on either of your visits to my old house, or at
          the wedding.  So much was happening...

Ukyou:    (blushes furiously)  Anou....    I'm really very sorry about
          those occasions, Saotome-san.  I assure you, I don't often
          go around destroying houses or throwing bombs...

Akane:    o O (And Ranma calls *ME* violent!)

Nodoka:   Kuonji-san, I must say that I admire the dedication with which
          you pursue my son; it is rare to find such devotion to family
          duty in the younger generation these days.  You obviously take
          the engagement your father entered into very seriously indeed.

Ukyou:    (Now looks slightly shocked)  Well...  yes, I suppose...  but
          really, it's just that it's Ran-chan whom I love and want to
          marry.  I guess I think of the engagement as more of my
          entitlement to Ran-chan than as a duty to be endured.  I'm not
          sure the rest of my family even cares any more...

Nodoka:   Then, since you love him so much, I'm sure you must always be
          thinking about his future happiness and his career.  I imagine
          that Akane-chan often thinks about how happy Ranma will be
          teaching and training in the Tendo Dojo.  Do you think about
          how happy Ranma will be helping you run your restaurant?

Ukyou:    (Now looks incredibly stricken.  After an awkward pause:)
          Well... Ran-chan does make a good... (small voice) ...waitress...

Realizing how Nodoka will take this, Ukyou looks at the floor.

Akane:    (Winces)  o O (Ukyou is really taking it on the chin tonight.
          And Auntie Nodoka is so nice delivering it, too...)

Nodoka:   (still smiling, but with a voice dripping icicles)
          A waitress.  I see.  And you've no doubt that my son will enjoy
          being a waitress every day for years to come...

Ukyou does not reply; she can't even look up from the floor.  Akane looks
at Ukyou with a sad expression on her face.  Nobody says anything for a
while.  Then:

Nodoka:   Well, it's nice that my manly son can attract so much interest
          from you girls.  He should have no trouble at all in obtaining
          one or more mistresses after he's married.  It will be nice to
          see him follow a nice old Japanese custom like that.

Ukyou & Akane:  o O (NANI????)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cut to:  Ucchan's Okonomiyaki.  Akane and Ukyou are on the porch, waving
goodbye to Nodoka and Ranma, who continue to the Tendo Dojo.

Ukyou:    Thanks for volunteering to stay the night, Akane.  I appreciate
          the company.

Akane:    It's nothing.  I also thought we could get started looking at
          the... books, if you're up for it, but first:  I'm really
          sorry about what Auntie Nodoka said tonight.  I could see that
          you were taking it really hard.

Ukyou:    (Shuddering briefly.)  No, it's...  probably something I needed
          to hear sooner or later.  She's right about Ran-chan's career,
          you know.  First and foremost he's a martial artist, and there
          are only a handful of ways for a martial artist to make a living.
          Ran-chan needs a dojo to run, but if he marries me, we'll be in
          our thirties before we could afford to buy one comparable to
          yours.  If Ran-chan marries you, he starts out with one.
          And being a martial artist is so important to him...

          (turns and clasps hands with Akane)
          Akane, Ran-chan must marry you for his own happiness.  I just
          wish I could still have some of him too.

Akane:    (Hurriedly, as if she doesn't want to think about what she's
          saying too much)  Ukyou, maybe...  what Obasama said about a...
          mistress.  I'd much rather share Ranma with someone I like and
          respect, if I must share.  (Turning a bit and blushing.)

          And sometimes...  I just get so mad at that baka.  I just know
          I'll kick him out of the house once in a while when...  if...
          we're married.  It would be nice to know for sure where he'll
          go, who he'll be with, when that happens...

Ukyou:    (big-eyed, wondering look)  Akane...

Ukyou tries to say more, but can't.  Finally she just gives Akane a big
hug, crying.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Slightly later, upstairs at Ucchan's.  The two girls spread out two futons
and change into two pairs of Ukyou's pajamas.

Ukyou:    Akane, that's an incredibly generous offer, but really...
          Wouldn't you just be terribly unhappy and jealous over
          the whole idea?  As much as the idea appeals to me, if it 
          would embitter you towards me, it's not worth it.  I'd
          rather just stay friends.

Akane:    (thoughtfully)  I'm not sure that it's really Ranma's attention
          that I'm jealous about.  It's his attitude towards my status.
          I'm...  we're... his fiancees, but he often doesn't treat me
          accordingly.  If I'm his wife, and he fulfills his marital
          obligations and treats me with respect, I'm not sure I'll be
          all that jealous of what he does on his own time.  Many Japanese
          housewives are jealous when their husbands go on those
          "business trips" to Bangkok or wherever, but some of the older
          housewives in our neighborhood just wish their husbands a nice
          night out when they go off to see a mistress.

Ukyou:    I don't think I'd be that way if I was married to Ran-chan and
          he ran off to see a mistress.  I'd be furious!

          (pauses, then smiles)  But we don't have to decide anything
          tonight!  Come on, let's forget about such serious things and
          just have fun talking about our mutual favorite subject.

Akane giggles.  Ukyou smiles and gets out "E-Z Illustrated Sex."

Ukyou:    Now, which volume should we look at first?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cut to:  the Tendo Dojo.

Kasumi:   Oh, Akane is staying the night with Ukyou-chan?  I wonder
          if she has everything she'll need, since she didn't plan it?
          Ranma, if I put a package together, can you take it over to
          Ukyou's and give it to Akane?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Later, Ranma approaches Ucchan's Okinomiyaki with the bundle of Akane's
things.  The door slides open quietly.  In the back, dim voices come
filtering down the stairs.  Ranma climbs the stairs, getting slower
and slower, and more and more silent, as he hears more and more.
A big sweat drop appears.

Ukyou:    ...then you rub this part for a bit, with circular motions,
          gradually extending the motion ... (giggles)

Akane:    ...using more and more of the fingernails...  especially along
          the thighs... (giggles a bit louder)

Ukyou:    ...and planting small sucking kisses here and here...

Ranma pauses just outside the door to Ukyou's room a moment, listening
with a slightly shocked expression on his face.  Then he suddenly slides
open the door to Ukyou's bedroom.  Ukyou and Akane, fully pajama'd,
are lying on the floor, face down, side by side, looking at "E-Z
Illustrated Sex", volume 2, which is lying open flat.  Both look up at
Ranma as the door opens.  Ranma is obviously *very* glad to see them.

Akane:    Ranma?

Ukyou:    Ran-chan?

Two hands hurriedly close the book and shove it under a futon.

Ranma:    (extremely embarrassed, brief bow)  Errr...  Sorry for
          barging in... I brought over a few items Kasumi thought
          you'd forgotten, Akane...  Ummm...  you guys... doin'
          anythin' interestin'?

Akane and Ukyou look at each other and giggle.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Late, the Tendo Dojo.  We see a figure stealthily approach the side 
of the house carrying a ladder and a few more items which we cannot
make out.  The figure places the ladder against the side of the house
and climbs up to the only lighted window on the second floor.

Inside the lit window, we see Nabiki studying, tapping her teeth with
a pencil and looking at a clock.

Nabiki:   Ranma's been gone for two hours.  Maybe they're all three
          studying the sex manuals I sold to Akane.  If only there
          were a way to get photos from Ukyou's tonight.  But I don't
          know if Kunou-chan would buy photos with Ukyou in them as well,
          even if all three are unclothed.  And not even I would 
          care to predict whether they'll actually go that far.

Suddenly a voice bursts out singing, right outside the window.  Nabiki
opens the window and looks right into Kunou's face.  Kunou is holding
two bunches of red roses and singing a love song.

Nabiki:   Oh, for me, Kunou-chan?  (Takes roses)  How sweet of you!
          What's the occasion?

Kunou:    Rest assured, Tendo Nabiki, that those are for your sister
          Akane and the pig-tailed girl, not for you.  Where are my
          true loves?  Is this not the bedroom where they await me?

Nabiki:   Well, Kunou-chan, they're spending tonight...  elsewhere.
          With another girl who likes you every bit as much as the
          two of them do.  I might be able to obtain some photos...

Kunou:    PHOTOS?  *Three* maidens?  How can I betray my two true
          loves?  But, if this other really likes me, is it not my
          bounden duty?  Hmmm... perhaps I should see a photo of 
          this other first, before I seek her out, that I may...
          ascertain... her appropriateness...  for one of my station.

Nabiki:   Ranma doesn't think she's ugly; he says she's cute.

Kunou:    NANI?!?  That sorcerous cur Saotome is after a third fair
          maiden as well?  This must not be!  The proud shall not
          endure!

Kunou, upset, leans back a bit too far.  The ladder comes off the side
of the house and falls gracefully towards the koi pond.

Nabiki:   Hmmm...  to paraphrase Bashou just a bit
          (deepens voice, mimicing Kunou):

          An old pond:                Furuike ya
          Kunou-baby topples;         Kunou-chan taoreru
          Splash of water.            Mizu no oto

Curtain on Nabiki gazing out at a moonlit pond, with a drenched Kunou
rising from its midst.

THE END.




    Source: geocities.com/tokyo/Dojo/5058

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