Midsummer Nights
A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic
6 June 1998 - by HK Miller
Major characters copyright Rumiko Takahashi and licensees:
Shogakukan in Japan and Viz Communications in the USA.
No disrespect intended by my unlicensed usage.
Lemon-scent warning, though this is only a little more
suggestive than the manga.
This is set after Vol 38 and is a sequel to "Much Ado,"
"As You Like It," "A Comedy of Errors," and "Midsummer Days."
Previously, in "Much Ado": Akane and Ranma admit they love each other.
As a result of prodding by Nodoka, Ukyou implicitly recognizes
Akane's better claim to marry Ranma, and Akane impulsively
offers the future position of Ranma's mistress, implicitly
mandated by Nodoka, to Ukyou. Nodoka discovers that Genma
and Soun have never discussed which family name Ranma and
Akane will use after their marriage, and can't agree now.
Then, in "As You Like It": Happosai teaches Ranma the ultimate
technique of the Musabetsu Kakutou Ryuu: his ki-recharge
technique, involving intimate contact with the opposite
sex or their undergarments. Ranma subsequently teaches
Akane and Ukyou. Ukyou and Akane can recharge from any one
male; Ranma is exceptional in being able to recharge
simultaneously from Ukyou and Akane, an ability which
comes in handy when Rouge and Pansuto attack Happosai,
and each other, at Furikan High School. To research
the theory behind the technique, Cologne lends Ranma
a number of books in non-Japanese languages, and a
magical 'rensu' with which to read them. Soun and
Nabiki conspire to adopt Ranma as a Tendo, against
Genma's opposition, resulting in a *very* embarrassing
defeat for Genma.
Then, in "A Comedy of Errors": Nodoka has Genma declared mentally
incapable, and herself declared Saotome clan head. She
then initiates proceedings which result in the adoption of
Ukyou as a Saotome son, with the understanding that Ukyou's
future children by Ranma will be legitimized as Saotomes.
Ranma teaches Shampoo the ki-recharge technique, and finds
that he can simultaneously recharge from all three girls.
Ranma, Akane, and Ukyou all get hired as security personnel,
disguised as female caterers, at a reception for the speaker
at Nabiki's and Kuno's high school graduation. Shampoo is
also in attendence, as a subcontracting caterer, and unveils
her 'Emperor Wu-Ti's New Robes' technique, by which she appears
naked to Ranma, Akane, and Ukyou, though fully clothed to
everyone else. When this fails to attract Ranma's attention,
she resorts to a new passion mix, but, instead of Ranma,
Akane, Ukyou, and Shampoo herself ingest it. This new passion
mix has the permanent, but infrequent, effect of inspiring brief
spells of blind lust for any nude woman in the ingester's sight.
These are all posted at http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Dojo/5058.
Time: Mid-summer, during the summer break of Ranma, Akane, and
Ukyou's senior year. Between three and four months after
"A Comedy of Errors."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Somewhere in China. Evening, a shadowy bar. Four cloaked figures walk
in one by one and, at a sign from the barkeep, enter a private room.
The four figures vary greatly in size and shape. All four have slightly
pointed ears.
Parsley:
Sage:
Rosemary:
Thyme:
Parsley:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Nerima, the Tendo Dojo. Sumizu and Jounsu are present, wearing
their trademark dark suits, white shirts and ties, and sunglasses.
Sumizu is using a pen-pointer to gesture at a portable whiteboard.
Also present are Onna-Ranma, Akane, Ukyou, and Shampoo, sitting on
the Dojo floor side-by-side.
Jounsu: This next affair is very important, the biggest yet for which
we've used you. We've also hired Shampoo-san specifically
for this one affair.
Akane glares at Shampoo, who puts a hand on Ranma's shoulder and smirks
back at Akane.
Sumizu: This is a summit meeting between the Japanese prime minister
and his counterpart from the People's Republic of China.
The summit is being held in Kyoto, at the Sukareru Biru
convention center, directly connected to a large hotel of the
same name which will otherwise be closed. We'll all be staying
at this hotel. You'll meet us in Kyoto in two days. The summit
will last for three days.
Jounsu: Our Chinese security liaison is worried about a terrorist
attack by separatists. Shampoo-san, you will pretend to
be a Japanese girl. Don't speak in Mandarin, Tibetan, or
Uigur, but listen for anything suspicious said in Mandarin,
and anything at all spoken in languages of western China.
Maybe someone'll slip up around you.
Shampoo: Shampoo pretend be Japanese person? Yuck!
Akane starts to get mad. Ukyou puts a hand on Akane's arm.
Ukyou: o O (Shampoo speaks those other languages too? I didn't know...)
Sumizu: As usual, your cover is to be catering personnel. Here
are your train tickets; we'll see you in Kyoto. Your
kimonos will be supplied to you there.
Jounsu: Before you ask: yes, we are planning to keep including
Shampoo-san with you three on future jobs. Please think of
her as a part of the team from now on.
Sumizu and Jounsu leave. Ranma turns to Shampoo.
Ranma: Shampoo, could I borrow the rensu again? With it,
I could eavesdrop on Chinese speakers as well.
You could just bring it with you to Kyoto.
Shampoo: (happily) Shampoo ask Hibachan! Sure she say yes!
Hibachan like Ranma! (claps, bounces up and down)
Shampoo continues to clap and bounce happily as she takes her leave,
blowing Ranma a kiss.
Akane: (grimacing) Well, *she* hasn't given up. Though she
hasn't been trying all that hard lately...
Ukyou says nothing, looking out the dojo door where Shampoo has left.
Akane: (brightening) Hey, Ukyou, are any of the Kyoto festivals
around now?
Ukyou: (turns, startled) Umm.. We might hit the Daimonji bonfire;
I forget when that is.
Akane: Oh, I've always wanted to see that!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Outside, just as Sumizu and Jounsu reach the gate, a slight figure
brushes past Jounsu.
Female voice: Oh, sumimasen. Shitsurei shimashita...
Sumizu and Jounsu watch the girl hurry into the house, apparently
embarrassed. They look at each other and shrug, then leave.
Inside, Nabiki peers outside the window and smirks.
Nabiki: o O (Hmm.. well, now we'll see who Akane and Ranma REALLY
work for...)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kyoto, two days later. The summit hotel, a large western-style building.
Onna-Ranma, Akane, Ukyou, and Shampoo enter a hotel room.
Akane: This just gets worse and *worse*! First, we have to stay
at this huge gaijin place! Then, we all have to share a single
hotel room, *without* extra futons! 'Government budget
constraints', MY FOOT!
Ukyou and Shampoo contemplate the single, king-size bed in the room,
Shampoo with a big grin, Ukyou with obvious misgivings.
Akane kicks the nearest piece of furniture, a dresser. It shudders.
A small object, dangling a wire, falls to the floor from the back.
Ranma: (examining object) Nani? A... bug. What in?
Akane: Probably those perverts Sumizu and Jounzu trying to listen
in to us tonight! They probably arranged this room, too!
Ranma: Well, too bad for them if so...
Ranma, holding the wire, concentrates a moment. A small spark shoots
down the wire and vanishes into the wall. Ranma grins, then turns,
narrow-eyed, to survey the rest of the room. After fifteen minutes,
the four girls have found three more bugs and two miniature video
cameras and disabled them all.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cut to: a dark room. Two shadowy figures contemplate a burnt-out
video monitor. One is holding a singed ear.
Sumizu to Jounzu: I told you this wasn't going to work!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A large conference room. Shampoo, onna-Ranma, Akane, and Ukyou are
standing around by a table near one wall. Each has a tray on which
they are placing teacups and a thermos. They are wearing complementary
kimonos. Sumizu and another man are checking people who enter by the main
doors. Shampoo is not wearing her usual hair ornaments; instead, she
has her hair done similar to Ukyou's. Ranma is wearing the rensu
fastened to her forearm by several cords, beneath her kimono sleeve.
Akane: (whispers) Ranma, you are *NOT* changing back to a guy
tonight in our room! Understand me? Not with Shampoo there!
Ranma: (whispers) Right, right, Akane. I got it. Ya didn't
have to grab my arm quite so tight, didja?
(grumbles as she walks away, towards Shampoo)
Ukyou: Where are the two prime ministers? I only see a small
army of lower-level officials from both countries.
Akane: (cooling down) I think they're meeting in a smaller room
off to the side. Probably drinking sake. These guys are
doing the real negotiating.
Ranma: Shampoo, do you know any language besides Japanese and
Chinese, so we can communicate privately if we need to?
Shampoo: Shampoo only speak languages that separatists may know, if
from Tibet or Xinjiang. Shampoo never hear of separatists
from anywhere else. Local dialect of Joketsuzoku region
just mix of Mandarin and Tibetan.
Ranma: Damn. Well, better not talk at all if you don't have to.
They may know enough Japanese to be able to tell you're
not Japanese.
Shampoo: Hai. (stands closer to Ranma so that her chest is touching
Ranma's arm)
Ranma: And cut that out! We're supposed to look like normal young women!
Shampoo: (low, seductive voice) ...Airen too-too attractive for Shampoo...
Shampoo reaches out a hand to stroke onna-Ranma's chest. Ranma gasps, then
shakes her arm loose from Shampoo's grasp and moves away.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Across the room, by the main door:
Jounsu: o O (I *really* wish they hadn't found all the video cameras
we put in their room...) (sighs)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Cut to: somewhere at sea. Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme are
on a small wooden sailing junk with a dragon prow, Sage at the tiller.
Parsley:
Sage:
Parsley:
Sage: (reading sheet of paper)
Parsley: (watches waves for a bit, then:)
Thyme:
Parsley: (throws disbelieving look at Thyme)
Sage:
Rosemary:
Overhead, unnoticed by all, four *very* large birds are winging
their way towards Japan.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Night. Kyoto, the hotel room. Onna-Ranma and Akane are in their
normal pajamas, and Ukyou is in her kimono-like nightgown. Shampoo
is wearing a revealing negligee.
Shampoo: Why airen no turn back to man tonight? Pervert girls
talk airen into staying girl?
Ukyou just rolls her eyes, but Akane clenches a fist and glows blue.
Akane: WHO'RE YOU CALLING A PERVERT?
Ranma: Now, now, c'mon. Shampoo... it's MY decision to stay
a girl tonight. I just think it'll prevent problems.
Ranma stands, facing Shampoo directly and looking her in the eyes,
as she says this. Shampoo bites back a remark and just looks at
Ranma for a bit.
Shampoo: ...We security. What if need fight? Should use ki recharge
technique tonight, all of us... (smiles slyly)
Akane and Ukyou blush a bit. Ranma continues to look Shampoo
directly in the eyes.
Ranma: That's a valid point, Shampoo. But we don't need to
recharge all night. We can do it briefly in the morning.
Ranma steps forward and puts both hands on Shampoo's shoulders.
Ranma: Shampoo, we're supposed to be a team now. We need to
trust each other. Can I trust you to behave yourself
tonight?
Shampoo just looks back at Ranma. Her eyes tear slightly, then she
bites her lip and nods. Ukyou looks impressed.
Akane: (looking a bit sad) o O (Shampoo...)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The next morning. Ukyou wakens early and slips out of bed. She is
joined by Shampoo a few minutes later. Ranma and Akane sleep on, in
the middle of the bed, Akane towards the side Shampoo was in.
Ukyou: (checking watch) Just about time...
(turns to Shampoo) Watch this; I love this bit!
Akane, sleeping on her side, scratches her head, then gives an elbow
shot straight to Ranma's head. However, Ranma has rolled over in her
sleep, and Akane's elbow impacts only Ranma's pillow. Akane rolls
away, snoring, and Ranma rolls back. Ten seconds later, Akane, stretching,
delivers a powerful mule kick to Ranma's crotch, but misses, as Ranma
has spread-eagled her legs, kicking off the blankets. Ranma snores on.
Shampoo: (staring) Violent gi-.. Akane sleep like this every night?
Ukyou: It's scenes like this that sometimes make me think these two
are made for each other.
Shampoo doesn't reply. Both girls watch Akane, in her sleep, launch a
variety of punches, kicks, and chops directly at where Ranma was when
they were launched. None land. After ten or so minutes...
Akane: YAAAWWWNN! .... Huh? Oh... You guys... (yawn) Awake
already, Shampoo? I know Ukyou's an early riser, but...
Ukyou: It's the restaurant business; it makes for early risers.
Shampoo still looks a bit shocked, and a bit subdued.
Akane: HEY, BAKA! WAKE UP! (shakes Ranma, who snores on)
Ukyou has refilled the hotel's tea thermos with hot water from the
bathroom. She now dumps enough on Ranma to turn him male. Ranma
starts to stir.
Ukyou: You start, Akane.
Akane nods at Ukyou, then hugs Ranma and kisses him on the cheek. Akane
starts to glow. Ukyou kneels down on the bed on Ranma's other side, then
gestures for Shampoo to join her. Shampoo perks up and grins eagerly.
Ukyou: o O (I thought Akane'd be more restrained in Shampoo's
presence. She can't expect Shampoo to settle for less...)
Ukyou takes one of Ranma's hands and puts in into Shampoo's hands. She
places one of her own hands on the side of Ranma's face, the other on his
chest. Ukyou starts glowing also. Shampoo places one of her hands on
Ranma's thigh, and keeps hold of the other. She starts to glow also.
Ranma: (looks around blearily) Nani? ... Oh!
Ranma starts to glow also, brighter than the girls. After a bit, he turns
his head towards Akane. Their lips meet. Their glows brighten.
Shampoo: o O (Oh! If only Ranma want Shampoo that way...)
Ukyou watches, a reminiscent smile on her face. Shampoo starts running
her right hand up and down Ranma's leg; her left brings Ranma's hand
towards her chest. Her eyes close. Her glow strengthens.
Ukyou, watching Shampoo, widens her eyes. She glances at Akane, who
remains oblivious, totally concentrating on her kiss. Ranma has
begun to register Shampoo's activity, however.
Ukyou: ...Akane sugar... o O (Can't just ignore this; can't risk
a big blowup during this job...)
Akane opens her eyes and glances at Ukyou without breaking the kiss.
Ukyou nods towards Shampoo with her head. Akane's eyes widen.
Akane: o O (Oh no! I didn't... in front of Shampoo...)
(whispers) Ranma... enough. Kiss Ukyou and...
(brief grimace) ... and Shampoo...
and let's get dressed.
Ranma nods and sits up, removing his hand from Shampoo's grasp. He
turns to Ukyou and kisses her thoroughly, then turns to Shampoo.
Shampoo: ...Airen really... kiss Shampoo?
Ranma smiles at her and moves his head closer. Shampoo starts crying
a bit as she moves her own head towards Ranma's.
Akane: o O (She really does love Ranma...)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Later, the conference room. The girls occasionally carry water pitchers
or new thermos of tea over to a conference table.
Shampoo: (whispering to Ranma) Not hear anyone say anything funny yet.
Ranma: o O (Kind of neat being able to hear and understand every
word. Course I still don't understand what's goin' on...
I mean, does anyone really care about fishing rights?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Over by the side table, Akane and Ukyou are in whispered conference.
Ukyou: Akane, are you sure you know what you're doing?
Akane: (embarrassed) No! I goofed, but there's nobody to get mad at
but myself. We have to decide about Shampoo, though.
Ukyou: We can't leave her alone with Ran-chan, and she won't settle
for less than she sees us get from Ran-chan. And now we've
set a precedent...
Akane: (flustered) I know! How about this... Kisses are okay, *IF* one
of us is present. Nothing more. We lay down the law on this to
Ranma, and stick to it.
Ukyou: We have to refrain from 'more' as well, but that's fine with me,
if you're sure you want to go that far.
Akane: I'm not, really, but she *does* love Ranma... And I don't want
to be mean...
Ukyou: (sighs) Okay. You tell Ranma; I'll tell Shampoo.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Another night and day pass like the first. On the third day the two
prime ministers and their aides come out of the side room. The main
doors open and the press enters. Flashes go off as the press approaches
the main dais. The four girls circulate through the press ranks with
drink trays.
Ranma: o O (Hey, this is cool! These press guys are jabbering in all
kinds of languages, and I can understand all of it!)
(reads the various lapels and camera signs)
o O (CNN... STAR TV... Australia... Republic of China...)
"Certainly, sir, you may have two drinks." (in English)
o O (Jeez! These news guys drink like fish, though!
I'm gonna need another tray already!)
Shieh-shieh... Sawat-dii khrap... No worries, mate...
Thandi biar? Koi bat nahin...
Ranma exchanges a bit of small talk with each reporter she serves.
She doesn't notice heads starting to turn to follow her after she passes.
Akane: o O (That baka! What's she doing now? We're supposed to be
unobtrusive!)
Shampoo returns from the side table carrying a tray in each hand and
another balanced on her head. Ranma glances over at this.
Ranma: o O (Agghh! That's not how Japanese girls serve. They'll
guess she's not Japanese unless...)
Ranma grabs five drink trays and starts back towards the news
corps, balancing one on her head and two held twirling by each
hand, using a pair of sticks.
Ranma: o O (I knew that stuff I learned waitressing at the
Nekohanten would come in handy some day!)
Ranma abruptly finds herself staring at the business end of a dozen
newscameras. She bigsweats. Akane comes over, furious, and grabs
two of the trays away from Ranma. The press corps loses interest.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
In the hall outside the conference room, four figures in overcoats
approach the doors.
Parsley:
The four reach the doors and throw off their overcoats. Four
fanged men stand there wearing various animal furs, two tall,
two short, two thin, two stout, armed with knives and staves.
The guards before the door are quickly clobbered.
Voice:
The four turn. A group of two men and two women, all winged, with
bird claws for feet, is standing ten feet away, glaring at them.
Sage:
Rosemary:
The four winged people advance menacingly. The two in front,
Kakumei and Hanrano, are poised to attack.
Kakumei:
Hanrano:
Thyme: (thrusts arms in air)
Confused muttering, then:
Other seven:
All seven turn their backs on the conference room doors and start
down the hall.
Thyme:
Just then the conference doors open. Sumizu peers out.
Sumizu: Tennou no inkei...!! (bites off expletive)
(turns head inside and yells)
Need some assistance here! Terrorist attack!
Inside, the press run for the doors, cameras aimed. Ranma and
Ukyou bound over their heads to the door. Shampoo pauses to
spin-kick a pair of would-be fondlers, then follows, running on top
of the heads of reporters. Akane is trampled by the press.
Her eyes bug out furiously.
Akane: (glows blue) GET OFF ME!!!
(half-a-dozen reporters go flying)
Meanwhile Ranma and Ukyou, closely followed by Shampoo, have reached
the doors. They stop in the doorway, looking at the intruders.
Ranma: (gasps) Musk Dynasty!
Shampoo: ...and Phoenix Mountain people! Why you here?
Kakumei: Throw off hated communist authorities!
Parsley: We kill Premier of China! You no stop us!
Ranma: Oh YEAH!!! (Fires point-blank Mouko Takabisha in
Parsley's face. Parsley goes flying down the hall,
unconscious.)
Ukyou: o O (Trust Ran-chan to negotiate peacefully...)
Ukyou engages one of the shorter Musk Dynasty attackers, Sage,
who has a short staff in one hand. The other hand has pointed claws.
Sage's first six blows miss; Ukyou's connect.
Ukyou: o O (I'm... winning? I thought these guys were
supposed to be really good? Oh yeah... he's staring
at my chest.)
Shampoo has produced bonbori from somewhere and leaped off the
head of Thyme to engage a winged attacker in mid-air, spoiling
Thyme's attempt to blindside Ukyou.
Reporter: (narrates into microphone) ...The grade of
Chinese terrorists you get these days is absolutely
atrocious! These can't defeat half their number of
typical Japanese office-ladies!
Akane arrives in time to intercept Rosemary's fist, aimed at
the reporter. She is dusty and her kimono is torn.
Akane: YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR RIPPING MY KIMONO!
(still glowing blue) MUSK DYNASTY NO BAKA!!
(punches Rosemary through roof)
Ranma, in mid-air, bounds off the head of one winged attacker
and plucks a napkin and ladle from her sleeve.
Ranma: CHA-NO-YU NAPKIN ATTACK!! LADLE ATTACK!!
while firing a Mouko Takabisha at the one she's just left with the
other hand, without looking.
Reporter 2: (looking up, narrating) The tea-making skills of the
traditional Japanese office-lady stand her in good stead
while battling winged terrorists!
Ukyou has finished off Sage, but Sage's claws have shredded her kimono
and her underwear is showing.
Ukyou: (blushes, turns head and hides face with one hand)
Ohhh! How embarrassing!
Ukyou follows-through her blush with a roundhouse kick to Thyme,
who is approaching Akane, fists raised and eyes focused on the
rips in her kimono. Thyme goes flying at Akane and knocks her
down, ripping her kimono some more. Shampoo, glancing down, hurls
one of her bonbori, which connects with Thyme's skull.
Akane: (glowing blue) ANOTHER OF YOU!! DIE !!!
Thyme follows Rosemary through the roof.
Shampoo lands next to Ukyou and Akane, glaring up at her opponent.
Shampoo: Stubborn! (leaps off again)
Ukyou grabs a nearby upright flagpole and leaps with Shampoo,
coming up behind Shampoo's opponent. As he parries Shampoo's
bonbori with one arm, Ukyou smashes him to the floor, unconscious.
Ranma has finished off two of the winged humanoids and is soaring
at the third, Hanrano, grinning. She vanishes. Hanrano, startled,
looks around.
Hanrano: Where girl go?
Ranma: KACHU TENSHIN AMAGURIKEN!
Ranma reappears, standing on the unconscious Hanrano as they fall,
and hopping off just after they land.
Ranma: (looking around and brushing hands off) Well, I guess
that's that. Bit easier than I expected.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Nerima. Daisuke and Hiroshi are watching the evening news on
television with Yuka and Sayura.
Hiroshi: (surprised tone) Hey, look! Ranma DOES fight somewhere
other than school!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The Tendo-ke. Nabiki is also watching the television news.
TV: Ministry officials announced that the office-ladies
responsible for foiling the terrorist attack are
typical, uninteresting office-ladies. They went on to
say that there is no truth to the rumors of unusual
fighting ability or language fluency.
Nabiki: o O (A government announcement. Well, that takes care
of the Japanese newsmedia. The gaijin press may still pursue
the topic; maybe I could sell some information there...)
o O (No! I know what to do. This'll make MUCH more money.
Pity it means I can't sell any real info to the media.
Now, where's the phone number for those anime producers I met
last month?)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Later. The women's bath in the hotel in Kyoto. Akane, Ukyou, and Shampoo
are sitting together in the water. The women's bath is quite empty for
such a large facility.
Ukyou: (looking around) Guess we're almost the only women staying
here.
Akane: (grumbling) Jounsu no baka! Sumizu no baka! They didn't
have to debrief us for so long. You'd think we were the
terrorists.
Shampoo: Shampoo wonder why Musk Dynasty and Phoenix Mountain people
attack Premier. They never care about politics before.
Ukyou: (sinking back further into the furo) Well, I think we did
good today. We've turned into quite a team.
Akane: (smiling and relaxing) That's right; we won. The four of us
beat eight of them. We're getting really good.
Shampoo: (shakes head sadly, looking down) Akane and Ukyou getting
good. Shampoo spend whole fight on one foe without beating.
Akane: Oh, I'm sure you just got a tough one, Shampoo. Besides, you
helped both Ukyou and I at key moments, maybe saved us.
Shampoo: Akane and Ukyou better than Shampoo now. You get much more ki
charge from Ranma than Shampoo, improve reflexes, quickness...
(looks sad) Airen no like Shampoo enough...
Ukyou: (glancing at Akane) ...Actually, sugar, Ran-chan likes you just
fine. He's kind of fond of me, too, I think. Akane, though...
Ran-chan really loves.
Akane: (looks down, blushing) Ranma says he loves me, and I believe him.
I'm... sorry, Shampoo. I agree, though; Ranma does like you
some.
o O (What does Ranma see in her? She cheats, lies, schemes,
turns into a cat... [sigh] I know very well what he sees.
She's cute, a good fighter, she can cook, and she's smart;
her Japanese is a lot better than my Chinese. And apparently
Japanese isn't even her second language. More like fourth.)
Shampoo: (looking at Ukyou) Why Ukyou let Akane win? No care any more?
Ukyou: ... Sugar, we both lost quite a while ago. I just came to my
senses and settled for what I could get. Which, I'll admit, is a
lot more than I might have thought possible, in some ways.
... Not that I don't still daydream, now and then ...
But really, what's the point? I spend about as much time with
Ran-chan as I ever could as his wife, Ran-chan gets a dojo
this way, and he and I are family.
Akane: I think Ukyou and I are both happier now. I don't get mad
at Ranma as much any more.
Shampoo looks down, thinking. Nobody says anythng for a while.
Shampoo: By Joketsuzoku law, Shampoo and Ranma already married....
But Ranma never act like husband. Ranma going to marry Akane,
isn't he?
Akane and Ukyou both nod, Akane emphatically.
Shampoo sorry, but... must keep trying. Maybe someday Ranma
like Shampoo better, let Shampoo take back to China.
Ukyou: ...Sugar, if you like thinking that might happen someday, feel
free. I think we'd all appreciate it, however, if you wait for
Ranma to decide that on his own instead of trying to kidnap him.
Akane: Shampoo, we're on this team together. During the fight, we
all trusted each other, and that's why we won. I'd like...
I'd like to be able to trust you all the time. I'd like to
be able to trust you alone with Ranma.
Shampoo: ...Shampoo like that too...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A hotel room. Sumizu and Jounsu are facing a large monitor on which
their superior's face is displayed.
Superior: Good work, but something's come up you two should know about.
The agent we have planted with 'them' has sent in a report.
'They' have a detailed personality inventory of all four,
*including* the Chinese girl, apparently based on live
interviews, with a detailed analysis of potential exploitable
weaknesses in three of them. Somehow 'they' have found out about
our most promising potential recruits. Should we quit now?
(In her room at the Tendo-Ke, Nabiki, wearing earphones, goes "Oops!")
Sumizu: They're still better fighters than anyone on our current staff,
and I see a lot of potential in other areas. I don't think
we should drop them just yet, especially since we haven't told
them anything about our organization.
Jounsu: Besides, they're cuter than anyone we have now...
(rubs hands, smiles)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Later. The hotel in Kyoto. The door of a room opens, and in trudge
Shampoo, Akane, and Ukyou, wearing the hotel-supplied bathrobes.
Onna-Ranma is already inside, sitting up in bed, watching the television.
Ranma is still wearing her robe, open in front.
Shampoo: Airen have nice bath?
Ranma: Okay. Just used the miniature furo in there. (points)
Figured the men's bath would be packed.
Akane: Ranma! You used that? It's right next to the toilet!
That's disgusting!
Shampoo shrugs out of her robe, heads straight for the bed, and climbs
in next to Ranma. Shampoo looks ready to fall asleep. Ranma is
flicking through the channels with the remote control.
Akane and Ukyou look at Shampoo and Ranma in bed, then at each other,
then at the closet.
Akane: Right. Too tired. (yawns) Sounds good to me...
Akane and Ukyou shrug off their bathrobes as well. Ukyou lets Akane crawl
into the bed first so Akane will be next to Ranma. Ranma doesn't look
up, as she's still changing the channels. Shampoo is nestled close to
Ranma, but otherwise keeping to herself.
Akane: RANMA! STOP CHANGING THE CHANNEL SO MUCH! PICK ONE AND
STICK TO IT!
As Ukyou settles herself down to watch TV before bed, Akane grabs the TV
remote away from Ranma, a little too hard, just as Ranma makes one final
channel switch.
Ukyou: Hey! We don't want to watch this!
Shampoo: Filthy show! Change channel!
Akane looks up at the TV. A pornographic movie is showing. Akane
looks back down at the TV remote she's holding. It's been crushed.
She aims it at the TV anyway; no effect. The TV can't even be turned
off now.
Ranma: Hey! Look what they're doin' now!
Akane: (grabs pillow and shoves over Ranma's face, covering her eyes)
Anoo... Sorry, guys. I think we're stuck.
Shampoo glowers at Akane and grabs for a pillow. Ukyou rolls her
eyes. Ranma pulls the pillow off her face and turns to Akane.
Ranma: Hey! What was that for, you kawaikunee...
(another pillow, this one from Ukyou, shuts up Ranma).
Akane: Humph! (crosses arms and turns back on Ranma)
Shampoo reaches around Ranma and Akane with her pillow and shoves
it into Akane's face, pressing her chest into Ranma's back.
Ranma ducks to free herself and performs a leaping somersault
to the foot of the bed. Ukyou, smiling, has raided the closet
for more pillows and starts bombarding Akane and Shampoo with thrown
pillows.
Akane grabs a pillow out of the air and leaps on top of
Shampoo, forcing hers into Shampoo's face. Ranma grabs
two of Ukyou's thrown pillows out of the air and crouches.
Ranma: LEAPING FEROCIOUS TIGER FEATHER PILLOW ATTACK!
Ranma leaps onto where Akane and Shampoo are wrestling,
holding the pillows ahead of her as a cushion. This presses
Akane into Shampoo, chest to chest, Akane on top. Ranma
lands alongside them. Shampoo turns and kisses Ranma
just as Akane smashes two pillows on top of their heads.
Ukyou: LIGHTNING SNAKE FINGERS PROBING ATTACK!
Ukyou comes flying in on top of the pile, landing half on Akane
and half on Ranma. Instead of pillows, however, she wields her
fingers in Ranma's and Akane's most ticklish places.
Ranma: Hey, what're you...hum. hrm. huh. ha-ha-ha...
Stop... it... Ukyou!
Akane, mad a moment before, is now smiling. Biting her lip to keep
from laughing herself, she reaches out to Shampoo's sides with her
own fingers.
Akane: Shampoo, I'm going to make you surrender...
Shampoo: Akane just dreaming. Shampoo better tickler any day!
Ranma and Ukyou just lie watching the contest, Ranma underneath.
When it starts to look like a draw, Ranma turns to Ukyou.
Ranma: (whispers) What'll we do next?
THE END
NOTES:
Sorry for the spelling inconsistency, but I just think 'Tendo'
looks better than 'Tendou'. Almost everywhere else I'm using the 'u' to
indicate the long 'o' sound, which is why 'Ryouga', 'Ukyou', etc.
I keep Kyoto and Tokyo spelled in the familiar way.
The Musk Dynasty and Phoenix Mountain locations, and the characteristics
of their inhabitants, are established in the manga, Volumes 24 and 37.
One scene borrowed, with modifications, from Monty Python's "Life of Brian".
The 'rensu' concept is borrowed, with modifications, from Dr. Edward E.
Smith. The obvious borrowed from Simon and Garfunkle.
(
geocities.com/tokyo/Dojo) (
geocities.com/tokyo)