The Cartoon Planet:
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS





Brak's New Year's Resolutions



Before we start with the New Year's Resolutions,
At everyone's request, I finally got my own show! The BRAK SHOW!
So stay tuned.
It's the Brak show, It's the Brak show
You're gonna have a wonderful time.

It's the Brak show, It's the Brak show
It's full of alot of laughs.

Hello. I'm Brak
Welcome to my New Years Countdown Special.
It's the Brak show, It's the Brak show
The New Years Countdown Special, oops, Special.

Brak Show is brought to you by Won Ton Soup
Won Ton Soup is so good!
Won Ton Soup is so good!
Ok, so. Nobody invited me to a party.
So I just thought I'd say,
I'd say a little something to everybody that's out there at a party.
Have fun you bunch of jerks!
Oh look everybody
Look who dropped by to see me!
It's Space Ghost!
Hey Brak, why haven't you cleaned my Phantom Cruiser yet?

Oh well, why don't you just stick it in your ear Space Ghost!
I've had it up to here, stupid!
It's the Brak show, It's the Brak show

You know what busts me?
My mom is having a party, but she didn't invite me!
Apparently I wasn't good enough to meet her new friend, Mr. Clay.
I coulda brought the ambrosia salad, but
NO! Mr. Clay uses mayonnaise!
It's the Brak show, It's the Brak show
Ambrosia salad is better with whip cream

Hope everybody's havin' a good time at your party.
Are you having, are you having a good time?
No?
WELL GOOD!
I'm not EITHER!
Ok. Time to countdown to nineteen whatever
Here we go. Ten
Nine
Eight
Seven
Six...
Oh man.
Five Four Three Two One...BOOM
It's the Brak show, It's the Brak show
Oh I wanted to go to a party

I wanted to go
Oh well Happy New Year Everybody
Oh, hheeeh hheeh hheeh
They say the banjo's supposed to make you happy, but it's a LIE!
hheeeh hheeh hheeh

Brak's Predictions for the New Year

Here are my predictions for the new year
Prediction #1:
There'll be a new "Puttin' out the Cat" champion next year, and three time winner Horace Minkey will lose by a whisker to newcomer Gadzooks Fillbottom at the "Puttin' out the Cat" championships in Brussels, Belgium
Prediction #2:
Citizens of New York City will be shocked and amazed, as this crazy woman goes flying across the Manhattan skyline hangin' by her teeth. When asked why she did such a dumb thing, the woman will proclaim..."Somebody call me a dentist!"
Prediction #3:
Prince Charles of England will decree that henceforce he will be known as Ken Pfffffft! Kenworthy. And whenever you say his name, you have to spin around twice and eat a grape. Two weeks later the people will declare, "Boy that Prince Char... I mean Ken Pfffffft! Kenworthy is crazy." and they'll spin around and eat grapes.
Prediction #4:
I predict that baby number 4 will get his ear pinched. What did I tell you?
Eat your heart out Dionne Warwick!
You and your psychic friends.

Brak
Brak's New Year's Resolutions


I resolve to eat less fast food and to cook for myself good nourishing meals.
I resolve to try and get my driver's licence back from the DMV
I resolve to pay off my credit card debts
I resolve not to be vain, and think that I'm all that!
I resolve not to smack my brother Sisto, in the head so much
I resolve to drink melted cheese through a straw
I resolve that for one day, just one day... I will make my mom proud of me.
I resolve to leave the seat down. You know what I'm talking about ladies.
And finally, I resolve to spend more of my free time and more of my hard earned money to find the perfect girl, and not just marry the first one that shows up here with a proposal!


Zorak
Zorak's New Year's Resolutions

Zorak: Well, a New Year lies before me.
Here is a list of things that I would like to accomplish in the days ahead.
First off, I'd like to muscle in on the soft drink industry
Secondly, I'd like to conquer five...no make that ten new planets and rule with absolute ruthless tyranny.
Yeah, bua haahahahaha
Space Ghost: And you're gonna do that from your little tin can over there?
Zorak: Surely, I was gonna use my super telekinetic long distance mind control....
Space Ghost: You tried that last week.
You couldn't even get a pizza delivered!
Zorak: You're right, I guess it still needs some work.
Okay. I'll down size a little. Hm hm.
In the new year, I could stand to lose some weight.
How you ask?
With the help of the amazing new Mantis Master!
From Zorak Industries.
Yes, with the Mantis Master you too can remove unsightly lumps of exoskeleton
While adding attractive inches to your rear pincers and hinders.
Compact enough to fix nicely into any back room.
Zorak getting blasted Space Ghost














Zorak: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Brak: Why did you blow up Zorak?
Space Ghost: His New Year's Wish List was becoming an infomercial.
Zorak: Only the amazing new Mantis Master can officially slice globular poundage from your.... Aaaaaaaaaaa
Brak: Looks like next year's gonna be more of the same old same old for Zorak
Space Ghost: Yep!
Zorak: Mmrrr mmmmrrr mrrrr


Space Ghost
Space Ghost's New Years Resolutions


I'm Space Ghost.
Vanquisher of evil villains
And fearless hero of the infinite heavens and their subsidiaries
Zorak: Big whoop
Space Ghost: At this time, I'd like to share with you a few of my hopes and dreams for the up and coming fiscal year

#1. I'd like to sleep in more.
#2. I think I'd like to do a little modeling
#3. Stop drawing bears in ties.
#4. I'm gonna eat a big pot of cheese, with grilled onions
#5. I'm gonna start using a napkin to wipe my mouth instead of my cape, this will save me a nice chunk of change at the cleaners.
#6. Ignore all research
#7. Design a line of casual wear called "Mad Dog"
#8.
#9. I shall continue to turn Zorak's pain into some little child's happiness Zorak getting blasted Space Ghost













Zorak: Wa ha wo ha how!
Space Ghost:
#10. I need to stop laughing at the word...h h h
I need to stop laughing at the word... doodie.
Hee hee hee hee hee hee ehee
Doodie! ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Doodie! ha ha ha ha ha! Oh Woooo!
Ahhh man...
Doodie!



Space Ghost: Zorak! Your area is a haven of filth.
Now you clean up this doodie right now!
Zorak: You're not my mom, and you can't say that word on TV!
Space Ghost: What? I can't say doodie?
Zorak: No...but you can say butt.
Space Ghost: Oh! Okay then. You clean this butt up right now!
Zorak: Yeah that's kosher.


Brak: Zorak I'm getting sleepy, will you tell me a story?
Zorak: What kind of a story?
Brak: Tell me about your favorite New Year's Eve.
Zorak: Eh, well, let me see.
I was at this party with Ray Stevens once
You see, in the early days of my music career,
I played back up keyboards for him and Guitarzan, and the Street.
Brak: No, I never knew that.
Zorak: Yeah, anyway, it was this particular New Year's Eve
That we kinda had a falling out.
He wanted to do his stupid silly songs
And I was seriously thinking about a real music career
Brak: Was this during your Nashville years?
Zorak: Quit interrupting me!
Brak: Sorry
Zorak: Don't worry about it.
Now where was I?
Oh! The real music career
We got in this arguement over the next batch of songs
I wanted to break out new songs about universal domination
And he wanted new songs about squirrels running loose in a church
And Santa Claus being everywhere.
So push came to shove and I kicked Ray Stevens in the back
Brak: Whoa buddy!
Zorak: Whoa buddy is right!
Did you know that Ray Stevens knows the art of Kung-Fu?
Brak: Noooooooo.
Zorak: That man swung around so fast, he nearly whacked my head off!
Brak: Man oh man!
And here I thought he was merely a musical genius
Zorak: You wouldn't think a guy like that would know the martial arts.
Brak: Oh.
Zorak: Mm.
Brak: Man
Zorak: Yeah. So. What was your favorite New Year's Eve?
Brak: Oh, nothing compared to that.
Zorak: Oh C'mon, I told you mine.
Brak: Oh alright. You ready for this?
Zorak: Yep. Go.
Brak: Ok. Once I ....
Zorak: Ah, go on!
Brak: You'll laugh at me!
Zorak: No I won't
Brak: Alright. Once I went into the kitchen and eat 8 packages of instant pudding mix.
The powdered stuff.
I threw up for three days!
Zorak: Ho ho, wow!
Heh heh, man, that beats my story
Brak: You know, the powdered stuff,
The pistachio flavored has little chips of pistachio nuts in it.
Ah man.

I think I'm lost! I live up there! I think I want to go back to BRAK!!!!

Zorak drinking coffee
That's disgusting! Zorak spit copier toner all over the place! Ewwww! Look! Another page! Get the boss man on the horn! Why does BRAK!!!!! get ANOTHER page? Everybody loves Brak!

Got a problem? I'm listening. Visit my bestest buddy Zorak with Zorak's Helpful Hints.
Why does he have his own homepage?
Zorak: Why? Because we loathe you....

Got MORE problems? I'm STILL listening.
Another page of joy? Zorak?.

How do you do it?


Zorak: C'mon kiddies. Keep in touch!
If you're interested in contacting Brak, Space Ghost, or Zorak,
feel free to send some electronic letter things!
If you've got comments on the page itself drop a line

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Citizens have crashed here since March 7, 1998.

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