If you're looking for oranges on an apple tree you will have a fruitless search.
If you're looking for oranges on an apple tree you will have a fruitless search.
Fortune tellers have to work on their prophetability.
A jewellry store wanting to market necklaces started a chain letter.
Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.
He who hesitates is not only lost, but miles from the next exit.
Analyzing humour is like disecting a frog: nobody enjoys it and the frog usually dies as a result.
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake it you've got it made.
The First Lady is an unpaid public servant elected by one person- her husband.
You may be disapointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.
Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving.
Life is uncertain. Eat desert first.
A good listener is not someone with nothing to say. A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.
The head never rules the heart, but just becomes it's partner in crime.
The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets for it, but what he becomes by it.
If we discovered that we had only five minutes left to say what we wanted to say, every telephone booth would be occupied by people calling other people to stammer they love them.
Experience is not what happens to a man, it is what a man does with what happens to him.
If knowledge is power then a god am I.
Reality isn't father knows best anymore. Its a kick in the face on a Saturday night with a steel toe grip kodiak work boot, a trip to the hospital bloodied and bashed, reconstrucive surgery......but whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger right?
Greed is for amateurs. Disorder, chaos, anarchy: now that's fun!
All the power in the world resides in the eyes.
It doesn't matter if the guy is perfect, or the girl is perfect, as long as they are perfect for eachother.
The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.
All you need is love. John Lennon, smart man, shot in the back, very sad.
When you first meet people all you notice are the differences between you and them, but as time passes you start noticing the similarities. I guess that's how all friendships begin.
You can know the rules and still do the wrong thing.
Helping others is never more beneficial than when it's in your own interest.
Never trust second thoughts. Next thing you'll know there'll be a third and fourth...you'll be thinking forever!
Problem is just a bleak word for a challenge.
The more lost you are, the more you have to look forward to.
The thing about funerals, the guest of honour is always dead.
It's the so-called normal guys who always let you down. Sickos never scare me. At least they're committed.
The question isn't what are we going to do, it's what aren't we going to do.
You know when you make a copy of a copy it just isn't as clear as the original?
The perfect warrior... what a magnificent anachronism.
Life is just a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes.
You don't need proof when you have instinct.
I am insane and you are my insanity!
You love with your mind and your soul, not only with your heart.
One cannot be betrayed if one has no people.
If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it.
We are the music makers. And we are the dreamers of the dreams.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist...
Stupid is as stupid does.
No good deed ever goes unpunished.
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