Wise Words From Ralph Wiggum

"When the doctor said I didn't have worms anymore - that was the happiest day of my life."

"Miss Hoover, I glued my head to my shoulder!"

"You choo-choo-CHOOSE me?!"

"So...do you like...stuff?"

"The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of there."

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

"I heard a Frankenstein lives there."

"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me."

"Oh, boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking."

"Miss Hoover, the floor is shaking."

"My parents won't let me use scissors."

"Miss Hoover, my worm went in my mouth and I ate it. Can I have a new one?"

"When I grow up, I'm going to Bovine University!"

"Hi Lisa. Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers...I'm learn-ding."

"I'm IDAHO!"

"Somebody took my juice money!"

"That's where I saw the leprechaun...He told me to BURN things!"

"My cat's breath smells like cat food."

"What's a diorama?"

"My neck hurts and my ear hurts: I have TWO ow-ies."

"Look, Big Daddy, it's Regular Daddy!"

"Help! She's touching my special area!"

"I bent my Wookie!"

"Daddy, these rubber pants are hot."

"I found a moon rock in my nose!"

"Hi liar."

"Go banana!"

"It tastes like...burning!"

"I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant."

"My cat's name is mittens."

"My face is on fire!"

"I can't be-LIEVE I used to go out with you!"

"It says BEE, and there's a picture of a BEE on it!"

"Principal Skinner, I got carsick in your office."

"I beat the smart kids! I beat the smart kids!"

"I think I wet my bed!"

"Mr. Simpson, these tar fumes are making me dizzy."

"My knob tastes funny."

"I'm so scared I can't even wet my pants."

"I ated the purple berries!"

"I'm not a baby!"

"This is my sandbox. I'm not allowed in the deep end."

"Miss Hoover, I don't have a red crayon...I ate it."

"I dropped my pop-stick-le stick in your toy chest."

"Dear Miss Hoover, You have Lyme Disease. We miss you. Kevin's biting me! Come back soon! Here is a picture of a spirochete. Love, Ralph."

"You're going to heaven!"

"You're right - I DON'T brush! I DON'T BRU-USHHH!"

"Chocolate microscopes?"

"Maybe she drove to the moon!"

"Hi Lisa. We're going to be in a pie."

"I'm pedaling BACKWARDS!"

"Was President Lincoln okay?"

"Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school...Lisa?"

"Teacher made me go to Principal Skinner's office when I was dirty!"

"When I grow up, I'm going to be a Principal or a caterpillar...I love you Principal Skinner!"

"Miss Hoover, which one is ONE?"

"I don't feel right!"

"I dress myself!"

"The pointy kitty took it!"

"Will you cook my dinner for me? My parents aren't around, and I'm not allowed to turn on the stove."

"Wait mister, you're drinking a candle."

"He steps on the clutch and the toilet goes flu-ush..."

"What's a battle?"

"I'm a BOY."

"I'm SPECIAL!"

"Yes! I love Lisa Simpson, and when I grow up I'm going to marry her!"

"Can you open my milk, mommy?"

"But you're SUFFERING!"

"This is band?"

"He was going to the bathroom."

"Daddy, this tastes like Grandma!"

"The snowflakes taste like fishsticks."

"That is SO 1991."

"He's funny, but not ha-ha funny."

"At my house, we call them "uh-oh's."

"Goodbye, witches. Thanks for not eating me

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