Peformance Appraisal Terms
... and their real meanings


As personnel director at Winfred-Louder, I've filled out thousands over employee performance appraisals and read thousands of resumes and cover letters. When doing those things, you have to read between the lines on many of the catchphrases used, and be able to use them on reviews of Mrs. Louder's boyfriends and family members in our employ. Below are some of my best spin-doctoring techniques and the REAL meanings ...

Great Presentation Skills - Able to BS

Good Communication Skills - Spends lots of time on phone

Average Employee - Not too bright

Exceptionally Well Qualified - Made no major blunders yet

Work Is First Priority - Too ugly to get a date

Active Socially - Drinks a lot

Family Is Active Socially - Spouse drinks, too

Independent Worker - Nobody knows what he/she does

Quick Thinking - Offers plausible excuses

Careful Thinker - Won't make a decision

Aggressive - Obnoxious

Uses Logic On Difficult Jobs - Gets someone else to do it

Expresses Themselves Well - Speaks English

Meticulous Attention To Detail - A nit picker

Has Leadership Qualities - Is tall or has a loud voice

Exceptionally Good Judgement - Lucky

Keen Sense Of Humor - Knows a lot of dirty jokes

Career Minded - Back Stabber

Loyal - Can't get a job anywhere else

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