Writer's note : Militarily Unrealistic

Like stereophonic speakers set too close to one another, BJ and Margaret were going at the beleaguered Hawkeye.

"Hey, I only went out because I thought I might save a life. That's what Doctor Pierce would have done. I don't know what Commander Pierce would have done. I don't even know Commander Pierce!"

"If only Frank Burns could see you now. Not so easy to be the clown when you're running the circus, is it? Permission to say, it serves you right, sir!"

Pierce looked at a woman he often fancied with pure fury.

"Pray---and I mean pray hard--that you never require an ounce of mercy from me. As for you, BJ--question. Would you have gone had Potter been here?"

"Potter---would have known how to handle me!"

"Oh-OH!! I'm so sorry---I thought you were BJ Hunnicutt. But you're actually Erin Hunnicutt. Well, kid--wipe it yourself. I have had enough of your baby-like--"

Margaret cut in.

"Its just too bad that your intolerance of juvenile behavior only applies to poor BJ."

Hawkeye cut back.

"Its just too bad that your intolerance of immoral behavior didn't apply to poor Louise Burns."

BJ was livid.

"Tell you what, Margaret--lets leave God alone to remake the world. We'll-we'll be back in six days."

"Oh cute, BJ. Run and hide behind the 'Pierce has an ego, so I can say whatever I feel like' excuse. Its tried and true, after all. Kind of like...."

Hawkeye had been about to say, 'Like The Major, here'. But the argument finally ended when Radar burst in.

"Hawkeye--ya gotta listen to me."

"Not now, Radar."

BJ smirked.

"Shall I have O'Reilly flogged, Captain?"

"BJ, ya shouldn't do that---not now."

"O'Reilly--out. This is a discussion for grownups."

Radar turned back around as Margaret tried to push him out.

"Shut up, Major."

"WHAT did you just say?"

Radar looked her in the eye.

"I said---shaddap!! All of yez, shut yer useless, stupid cakeholes! Here, read this. I only got the heart ta do this once in a war."

The boy-man wandered off, and began to cry as he lay down. Hawkeye had heard those kind of tears from Radar--only once before. He read the message. His head shook, and he passed it to Margaret. BJ took it when her shaking hands threatened to rip it apart. Hawkeye spoke.

"Puts--a new perspective on things."

He got up, sobered and still, and grabbed the PA mike. BJ sat down on the ground, and couldn't think.

"Attention---Camp. This is deadly serious. No joke. No puns. I'm---just gonna say it. On his way back to rejoin us, the jeep carrying Colonel Sherman Potter hit a land mine. He--he was killed. Just like Henry. Here's how it is, folks. Until a new CO is appointed, this place has to run at its best. You all know how to do that, even if I acted like you didn't. If we keep to Sherman's model--we may get someone with one-tenth his grace, wisdom, and strength. If we slip into chaos--who knows? Just act like he was still here, Ok?"

As Yogi Berra had once said, it was Deja Vu all over again. The camp fought down the shock. It just didn't do it very well.

When the small service was done the next day, General Clayton spoke to Hawkeye.

"Pierce--I'll be blunt. There are no Command-capable MD's available. But Sherm--well, he asked us Star-boys to do something for him, just in case he left us early. Its against regs--but we were all for Sherm Potter. Sides'. I think he did it to get even with you."

The next morning at 8 am, a mandatory meeting was held in the compound. In a neatly pressed uniform, sporting half-a-bird--was Lieutenant Colonel Benjamin Franklin Pierce. He was as nervous as hell. So was everyone.

"By now you've heard. The Colonel saw something in me that no one else did. Myself included. Well, here's the copy : Major Winchester is Second-In-Command. He'll be overseeing day-to-day, and I suspect, be doing an exemplary job of it."

Charles was silent, both resenting Pierce and thanking God that he wasn't CO now.

"Captain Hunnicutt will now be Chief Surgeon. In other words, a downgrade in CO means an upgrade elsewhere."

BJ thought about how he didn't at all know Commander Pierce. He made himself a promise to change that fact. The man showed promise.

"Major Houlihan will remain Chief Nurse and will also play ramrod over you corpsmen. Any complaints about the Major may be taken up with her."

Zale's hand went down.

"That's all, people. You know your jobs. Do them. Right now--I've gotta get us another surgeon."

All then walked off except Margaret, staring at the Commanding Officer, wondering if she would ever see Hawkeye again. She brushed off his new rank's symbols.

"Commander Pierce?"

"Yes, Major?"

Margaret again hoped this super-formal Pierce was just temporary.

"Permission to say--It Serves You Right, Sir."

For just a moment, Hawkeye smiled back.

"Permission granted."

As he walked into the office that was now his, he determined that he would not let this new and greater challenge break him.

In the office, two friendly spirits watched over him.

"Henry? Ain't you gonna move on, son? You've been here a while, now?"

"Are you kidding, Sherm? Why, I wouldn't miss this for the world. He really has no clue, does he?"

Potter put an intangible hand on Pierce's shoulder.

"No, Henry. He really doesn't. But he will. He will."