Pets: Parasitic Worm free to good home. 300 kg, friendly, good with kids. Answers to "Fluffy". Call...
Housing: Lovely late '50s trailer home, fully furnished, currently located on frozen planet with liquid hydrogen oceans due to teleporter accident. Buyer must relocate within two weeks of purchase. 50 roubles or best offer.
Miscellaneous: Unspeakable horror. Rarely used, wife demands I get rid of it. Complete with original box and all accessories. Call after 5.
Lost: In the neighborhood of 13th Street and Warmouth Blvd, RIGHT INDEX FINGER, midnight blue, last seen wearing Malibu Pink nail varnish. You can keep the ring, no questions asked.
Found: Amorphous organic conglomeration, approximately 7 liters, 300 block of Barnum Blvd. Expands to fill its container when exposed to flourescent light.
Personals: CALLING ALL BLIXCRX! Get out those flails and letter jackets -- it's time for REUNION! Call Jeannette42 at 909-887-3223x56.6 or hum the big OM for more information.
Single-Celled Organism Seeks Host. Object: symbiosis. Must be healthy, with no debiliatating physical problems. Hemoglobin circulatory systems only, please. Contact Pauling Institute, Room 142, Petri Dish 8.
Wanted: Research Assistant. Must be willing to work odd shifts and be capable of quick thinking in dealing with unusual tasks. Full medical. Hunchbacks need not apply. E-mail victorf@internex.net with resume and references.
Gwen -- I miss you and Lance. Please come home. We'll talk. Art.
Lost: One steam-powered automaton. Last seen near the River Wilde Toll Bridge. Needed desperately for dissertation. Unit is very dangerous; do not approach! Contact Dr. Gotterdammerung, Department of Military Science, University of Nexus.
Mister B - Leave the $1 gillion in unmarked fish at the corner of Escher and Lovecraft. Otherwise you'll never see the Gilten Poodle...again! -- Bubba
Igor - come back home. Riff-Raff meant _nothing_ to me... Love, Frank
Found - evil book of the dead. Hidden inside cover for Dannie's Pop-Up Book of Cute and Fuzzy Bunnies. Will trade for exorcism of youngest daughter...
For Sale - Castle, slightly used. Some burn marks - lightning and angry mob. Nice neighborhood, close to cemetary. Local villagers not too bright unless outside interference. Looking for best offer or to trade.
Lost - Six Japanese 'pretty boys' brought to life from anime thanks to mad female scientist. Escaped from house. May be found in gaming shops, mecha mechanics, or blowing up the countryside. Careful, they may shoot various attacks. Won't bite (unless you ask real _nicely_) Please return to 908 N. Soko, Techtown, Rlty 668
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