9/28/03

Here I am again I my own... goes the song. I am here in sunny AZ. Life can be so nice and sweet. I am writing this because I think it maight be good to write. Its been a long while. I rememeber when writing what I did before it seemed very theraputic (sp?).

Looking forward, going over the past, what's the point. Live one day at a time? That's the way I feel a little, but I am locked in on trying to graduate from college. Its surreal what I wrote back in 97-99. Was that really me??? It was, but wow. So full of confidence, so ready to attack. No worry, no girl could hurt me, was I invincible? More later...

10/04/03

Well, I'm in the racquetball tournament. I am very happy to be in it. I got very excited, I went out and bought a new racquet for $160 and then spent another $30 for a new grip and get the old racquet restrung. Man, I just spent $200, but I made an investment in a sport that I enjoy. Well, if money was not so damn tight. I have a reserve, but I have to be careful.
Anyway, I have struggled these last few days thinking about massage parlors. How good it would feel to get my balls rubbed. I am fighting a addiction to these places. I have done better recently, since August. I read a good website's advice. Permit myself to fantasize all I want, but relize that if you were to go to these places you are feeding the addiction. Sexual Addiction is complicated to fight because it seems to run alongside your natural needs and wants to have sex. But going to massage parlors is addictive.
You can spend a hundred or tow easy. You're promoting prostitution and other social ills. You are hurting your own self confidence and hurting/denying you and a special girl out there an opportunity to be with other. I know I have something special to give, I can do it. I have to find the special things in me, the magical things in me.

7/3/04

I might have to rename this site to "Shanghai Nights"... as I feel I might be haded that way after I graduate. Wow, imagine how that will be. My friend Jason broke it down for me... Japan is stagnating, Hawaii real estate is going the the roof, and China is growing. I would love to buy real estate in Hawaii, but with what money? Maybe I could get a big loan? Anyway, I might me headed for overseas again, but that will be a good thing...

6/3/06

How interesting... back in 2004 I wrote that I might be heading to Shanghai. Well, I am in Beijing right now instead. I have been here since May last year. I have been studying Chinese for the past year in China.

There is so much to say really... My integrity has taken a hit. Last night I told one girl that I am not seeing anyone else when I am. I have never thought of myself as a two-timer, and that is not a road I want to go down. I have to make some choices, know who I am and what I will continue to be.

I have also have figure out what the heck I am going to do with myself for the rest of my life. Where will I go, where will I stay, what will I do, who will I be, who am I now, what am I doing, etc etc

Go to next...