I'm a porter and a night clerk at the Hot Rod Hotel
I clean and scrub the lobby down and 31 rooms as well
I wax and shine their boots and shoes
I brush down their crinkedly clothes 
I meet the buses and the trains and show you to your door

Bell bottom pants brought two boys in at 6:14 last night
Two girls checked in at 10:02 and I flipped on their light
The lamrod's wife looks in their doors and finds one terrible sight
Those boys and girls got bawled up in their doors and rooms last night

A bloody flood could never messed these rooms up any worse
It looked like Moe had used this room to grease and breed a horse
Old gum and hairs and sticky rags, old bottles on the floors
Gobs of spit and condom rubbers on the windows, walls, and doors

The lammy tried to make me clean up the crappy mess
Or else he'd fire me off my job and let me starve to death
I lied aside my polish rag and downed my dusting pan 
And I've not seen the old Hot Rod nor that old town since then