Keith On Trial!
You may be a big fella, Keith Boyzone, but you don't intimidate us. In the
interests of the pop-buying public, we charge you with...
...scaring your fans
(Nods) Oh, I'm definitely guilty of that. Fans find me a bit
intimidating sometimes. A lot of kids think that I'm unapproachable because I'm
so big. But once they talk to me they realise that I'm not scary at all.
People have gradually learnt that over the years.
GUILTY!
...dodgy dancing
Oh, guilty again! (Rolls his eyes.) I've got two left feet and I
can't dance to save my life. I can do the stuff that's choreographed, but not
when I have to do my own thing. We've cut a lot of the dancing out of our
shows now, which is a relief! I don't mind doing the odd move, but given the
choice I'd rather not dance.
GUILTY!
...not singing enough
(Shrugs) The group has been successful up until now with the
people who've been singing lead vocals, so I wouldn't change a thing. I 've got
a few of my own songs now and I'm happy with that. I did my own song on the
tour and there's more to come.
NOT GUILTY!
...hiding at the back
Oh, I don't mind that at all. It means I don't get all the hassle! It
doesn't bother me that I'm not at the front all the time - I'm just enjoying
what I do.
GUILTY!
...liking the sauce
Guilty...in moderation! I've been quite good recently, actually. I've
settled down a bit now. I'm not drinking Jack Daniels and stuff - I just have
a sociable drink. I don't drink to get drunk. What about when I go out with
Robbie? We just have a nice drink and a laugh.
GUILTY!
...being the naughty boy of the group
A while ago I would've been guilty of that, but now I've really calmed
down. (Thinks) I don't think there is a naughty one in Boyzone now. We
all have our nights out that are a bit crazy, but I don't think I'm any worse
than the others in the group. Wild ways don't appeal to me anymore - I don't
feel the need to try and impress anyone. Those times have passed.
NOT GUILTY!
...constantly appearing in OK! and Hello!
Guilty! I like doing it because it's a nice, family thing, plus (winks)
they pay good money! For a long time I was made out to be a rebel and an
alcoholic, and I think that doing those magazines shows me for the family man
that I am.
GUILTY!
...swearing constantly
(Smiles) What can I say? I'm guilty! I can't help meself. But I
really don't think it sounds intimidating when it's said with an Irish accent.
We get away with it a lot more than the English because we don't say it
aggressively - it's just everyday speech. The only time I really notice I'm
doing it is when my son Jordan says it back to me...then I worry.
GUILTY!
...having scruffy hair
I went through a phase when I didn't wash it, but I'm back washing it now,
and it's cut shorter so it's easier to handle. I just did the scruffy look for
a while as an image change, but I leave those to Shane now!
NOT GUILTY!
...not getting on with Five
No, I think they're very nice guys and I get on with them well. I think
some people take them the wrong way, but I think they're cool. When they first
came out, I think they were so paranoid about people having a go at them that
they put on a front. But it's fine now - we chat and stuff.
NOT GUILTY!
...not having your tooth fixed
I'd never have it done. I've had it done twice but knocked it out again.
It's my character and people know me by it. Maybe when I've finished in Boyzone
and I'm a respectable father I'll do it, but I'm quite happy with it at the
moment.
GUILTY!
...not stripping off any more
Yep, guilty again! I was young and foolish and (pats his stomach) I was
in good shape at the time. Me and Shane were about 18 and we had loads of woman
screaming at us, so we were quite happy! I wouldn't do it again, but I had a
craic at the time.
GUILTY!
Verdict: Keith, you have been found guilty on a whopping
eight charges. You are hereby sentenced to take up dancing lessons and buy up
Boots' entire stock of shampoo!