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March 31, 2009: April Fool's Eve... I'm no longer at EHS. In fact, I'm no longer even in Alberta. If someone had told me 4 months ago that I'd be sitting in Trenton, ON singing with a pair of free-flying cockatiels while downloading new tattoo designs to do on myself, I'd have thought they'd - oop, gotta run!
November 17, 2008: New chapter. My first day of working for the Edmonton Humane Society shows that I have some serious homework to do if I want to do my very best for these animals. And I will.
August 6, 2008: Wow, long time no write. OK, since September...Finally rid myself of the Orange Plague, moved up here to Edmonton (most people day-to-day are really nice, but it seems everyday someone's getting randomly stabbed in a parking lot or gang mugged and beaten or shot in a gang war or something. FYI, the first witness is incorrect, they picked up the attacker here in Edmonton. ...
I feel bad for both their families.
September 8, 11:22 a.m. - Getting over a vicious cold. Isn't it amazing how precious the ability to breathe through one's nose becomes once it's lost and regained? Even more amazing is how quickly we always take it for granted again afterward.
Finished my painting for Chris a few days ago, only three weeks late.
Progress 1
Progress 2
Progress 3
Progress 4
Finished
I admit the Finished photo is pretty poor, bad lighting and whatnot, but that's what happens when you have no proper studio space for photography. Or anything else for that matter.
August 18, 11:00 a.m. Trying to enjoy my short weekend as much as possible. Looking forward to getting paid time and a half but definitely not to having a longer work week.
Autumn began creeping in early this year, yellow leaves showing up on Aug. 1. The sunrise is already quite noticeably younger and cooler when I get off work. But I put my comforter on my bed a little too early; I got overheated in my sleep, which always results in bad dreams. One particularly chilling segment involved a great white shark throwing itself onto a beach in pursuit of a little girl who luckily recognized the danger in time and ran upshore screaming, complete with John Williams Jaws music. Then a crowd of people rushed the stranded shark and started stomping it, making sure to kick it directly in the eye. Still very much alive, the shark's mouth slowly started to open and one brave idiot decided to started punching its tongue. Thank God I woke up at that moment.
I?ve abandoned the abstract Bach piece, for now at least. It was looking rather lacklustre, and wasn?t really very innovative anyway. That?s the glory and the curse of working completely on your own ? total freedom to abandon 50 hours of work on a moment?s notice without major consequences to a budget or deadline of any sort. Yay! Sob!
However, I do have a couple other ideas brewing, one that would take a year just to gather enough research live-action footage and photos for, and the other... if I coddle it properly, could be the most true-to-self work I may ever do in any medium. I know I renounced being a ?contemporary artist?, but I didn?t renounce thinking and creating.
What the hell am I going to get Mom for her birthday?
July 18, 10:16 a.m. Happy birthday, Hunter.
It's the first break in the heat wave we've had for a week now. God bless early morning thunderstorms.
I've started an abstract piece based on Bach's Two-Part Invention in D and loosely incorporating a bit of synaesthesia, mostly as an exercise in self-discipline. It's still less than 450 frames, but I'm almost certain I'll have to tween it. Hundreds and hundreds of little blue and red dots. Hundreds. The more you say the word and look at it, the stranger it seems. Hundreds. Hundreds. Hundreds. Odd, I don't feel as tired as I sound. But I digress. As I sit staring at all these little dots, I'm starting to think perhaps it will look better if shot backlit with three or four previous frames underneath, letting them echo and fade as they rain across the screen. I'm quite pleased that they never ever collide with each other, a happy accident resulting from how I set up the field guide.
I've been milking the library for classical music, lots of cello and piano. Rather disappointed with the interpretation of Vivaldi's Four Seasons I heard this morning, hesitations that ground on the nerves and way too many unjustified trills.
One of my molars is in serious trouble, I can tell there's nerve damage. I really ought to go to the dentist but I simply can't afford what they're going to want up front right now. Maybe mom and dad could help out in place of birthday gifts. How sad, getting my teeth fixed for my birthday. Bleh.
Why is it that almost every old native who asks for spare change always tells me they're trying to get to Fort Macleod? Is this for real? I'm picturing dozens of native elders gradually converging from around the province on this prairie town and overwhelming the locals.
My sternum feels like it's being pushed on from within.
June 25, 10:55 a.m. - Woah, almost precisely one month after my last post. Wheels in Motion sucked, I raised $80 (which is $30 more than I thought I'd be able to) but the run site was a bitch to get to and everyone there was very aloof and unsociable, to me at least.
I've started doing some one-panel cartoons, sort of Far Side style. Once I get enough digitized (I do have a scanner now) to make it worth the while, I'll make a sub-site and post some of them for your enjoyment. I don't have any plans to try making a living at it. Why? The late great Hunter S. Thompson said it best: "Nothing is fun when you have to do it. I suspect it's a bit like fucking, which is only fun for amateurs. Old whores don't do much giggling."
An idea I had for an animation a few months ago is starting to tug at my sleeve again. Perhaps it's time to dust off the light table.
Love life is non-existent, but that's okay. Better to be a bit lonely than in a relationship you're not really keen on. And seeing as I can't seem to put down the torch I've been carrying for almost two years now, I don't know how I could date someone here when my heart is looking somewhere else. So until it finally gives up the impossible, I'll have to keep myself out of the race.
The drab smelly crowded life of the city is starting to get to me. A smaller place, somewhere lush and rainy and green out on the west coast, yes that sounds much nicer. But how to get there?...
May 25, 10:34 a.m. - Winter is refusing to go down without a fight. We got dumped on the other day, really heavy wet snow that shocked all the May blossoms and threatened to break young trees.
I don't usually do these sorts of things but I've entered the Wheels in Motion for June 10. *shrug* Just on a whim. Why not.
I've now lost 35 lbs at this job, and hopefully I'll lose another 40 or so. Considering how much freight we've been getting lately and how understaffed we are, that shouldn't be too difficult.
April 12, 10:15 a.m. - Interning didn't work out too well. I ended up almost having a nervous breakdown and I haven't really spoken to them since, though I think we're still on good enough terms. It's Carol's b-day today, I should email her just so she knows I remembered.
I've decided to go back to my Faces and I'm refining a lot of penmanship in the early ones, really giving them a lot more 3D punch. And hopefully my keyboard isn't going to go all wonky again. I guess some hacker is polishing his skills, or it might've been a strange programming bug but when I went to type the next sentence, suddenly none of the keys on my keyboard were creating the letters they were supposed to. a and m were fine, but everything else was totally off, the word "library" became something like "senulut", and everything was just coming out
axx me,ik rq sedi mt g'ckl oiui ktlsi.e,
(all mixed up like my hands were dyslexic.)
At least the librarian saw it as well and it wasn't just happening in my head. Then I'd be in REAL trouble. But I digress.
Yes, I'm re-working many of the Faces. And I think there's a good film idea with them simmering on the back burner but I'm afraid if I try to force it out into consciousness too soon it'll fizzle out. Just let it brew....
Easter weekend was spent 2/3 asleep. I think I went through a bit of a death and resurrection of my own. I just know I didn't have the emotional strength to deal with the unmentionable can of worms. I actually stressed myself sick, my stomach was producing way too much acid and nothing was processing right. Even Rob, the most jaded, grumpy and tense person I know, called me into the training room and told me I needed to unwind. That's a bad sign.
Really don't want to bother doing my stupid taxes.
Don's right, Pearls Before Breakfast is a good read. The mention of Koyaanisqatsi impressed me. I want to watch that again now.
Spring is here today, the warmth of the sun cooking up a warm wind that lifts my hair around my fedora, bringing it to life like a cluster of shiny brown snakes.
I'm going to get a scanner soon.
February 20, 10:09 a.m. - I just got this in an e-mail and it's too funny not to post in its entirety. Read it. Every single word.
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February 18, 2007 - Wow, has it really been this long? Oh yeah, I've been blogging at home on my netless pc...anyway.
I learned about Ryan Parkin while on lunch break at work and I broke down crying in the lunchroom. I'm glad his suffering is over, but it's one more person back into the dust without knowing their effect on me and my gratitude for it.
I'm still interning at 15 lb. Pink and the first piece is progressing nicely. I'm told it'll be on Bravo! sometime winter '07. Doing some FX today, trying to figure out the best way to make the baby's afterbirth splatter on the adult Pork n' being. This is after spending a torturous two weeks tweening the baby's trajectory in the same shot. Man, when Kevin said he was going to test me, he wasn't kidding. It's not the movement that's tricky, it's a simple action, really, but the extreme foreshortening made it 10x more difficult than it would be straight from the side.
The cricket chirping in the frogs' tank sounds weird mixed with the Hal Willner cd that's playing right now.
We got a lot of snow in Calgary last week (all over the continent too, so I hear), so I decided to make a Rejected sculpture in the backyard. I was tempted to do it out in the front yard but I have better things to do than deal with neighbors' complaints. After two hours of working with the worst powdery fine dry snow possible for trying to make into forms, the results were spectacular for a total of five seconds before the india ink in their mouths began leaking into their throats, you can see it starting already in the photo.
It felt good to do kid things again. Brought back a few good memories.
Reading Brian K. Vaughan's Y: The Last Man, quite impressed with all the different aspects and issues it tackles regarding feminism and gender politics. The leader of the Daughters of the Amazon is a frightening militant version of Gloria Steinem's Dr. Phyllis Freud. Much more impressed with this than Lions of Baghdad, but I must make note to check out some more of his work.
I've noticed my 20lb loss mostly in my lower arms.
Looking forward to going out drinking with Stephen tonight. It's not a date, he's not the one for me, we've both learned the hard way not to date in the workplace, but we have the same sense of humor and he's a decent person, despite or perhaps because of his history. His efforts to console my grief over Parkin showed him to be definitely a friend worth keeping.
November 30, 2006, 9:06 a.m. - And now for something completely different: I've decided to resign from both my positions on the Board of Directors and Chair of the Library Committee at Quickdraw. I imagine some people will be a bit shocked and confused and perhaps even angry, but dammit, I'm an animator, not a politician. Board meetings are one of the most torturous wastes of time I've ever experienced, next to junior high school. So I'm shedding that slimy coating and diving back into production.
I've started a new piece tentatively titled "A New Perspective", basically about seeing your mountains for the molehills they really are, and line tests for the first couple of shots are very nice so far. I still haven't decided how many natters there will be in total, but I've finally resolved how to make the transition from the bedroom to the first shot of the void. Kevin has offered to help me apply for a production grant, and considering how goddamn broke I am with student loan repayment kicking in, that offer is sounding sweeter every day.
I've been interning with him and Carol at 15 lb. Pink, doing the rendering on the arms and legs of the Pork'n'beings. Lots and lots and lots of itty-bitty little lines. And then lots and lots and lots more itty-bitty little lines. Yaaay!
It's been incredibly cold here the past week and the backs of my hands are chapped and red in protest. Warming back up to zero actually feels good. But the fun part of winter is that I get to leave silly little doodles all over the frosted-up windows on transit.
My frogs are getting too big for their tank. Jim actually jumped out onto the counter the other night when I was cleaning it and slimed up all my clean dishes and then almost disappeared under the microwave! But I think both he and Lily are a little less afraid of being picked up, they don't seem to freak out quite so much anymore.
Since I started working nights, sunlight seems so bizarre.
November 4, 2006, 11:03 p.m. - Holy crap, what an adrenaline rush! Night Two of GIRAF is just wrapping up and even though I missed out on all the screenings, it's been one helluva day for me.
I was already crossing the 24-hours-without-sleep line when the adventure started around 5:55 p.m. with one of the organizers approaching me and asking if I would fill in for Richard in leading the scratch-on-film workshop so he'd be free to cue up all the films for the screenings later on. Keep in mind, this is Richard Reeves, award-winning cameraless animator, and me...well, I've studied cameraless technique, but I've never actually done it. "Good enough!" and the job was mine, with a whopping five minutes to prepare for it. But I didn't feel remotely unqualified. No. Not one bit.
Kim helped out as best she could, considering she'd been vomiting throughout the night. I'd like to think that there was a maximum of 15% bullshit in my ever-so-brief-but-felt-like-forever tutorial. At any rate, the stuff that people produced with that brief lesson was certainly not the worst animation I've ever seen. We only got about 40 minutes of solid animating in but there were enough people participating that we produced about 30 seconds of animation.
And then it somehow fell to me to splice all these pieces together, another interesting challenge considering I'd never spliced before either and I wasn't even quite sure how it works. But there I was, splicing with a vicious level of concentration while a fidgety and inebriated crowd nattered away just down the hall. I'm very glad I resisted the temptation to boast of my newfound film editing skills as I handed over the reel because less than 10 seconds into its projection on the wall of the building next door, the film broke and only lightning-speed repairs by Richard's practiced hands kept the audience from seeking out the guilty party.
Some of the pieces had rather good movement, especially for a first attempt at animating, and there was some very beautiful use of color in some segments. My piece was the only one that got a solid laugh, with a Hertzfeldt-style head yawning non-chalantly after one of his own eyes exploded.
This is now the longest I've ever been awake (30.5 hours) and I'm surprisingly coherent, considering. Many thanks to Chris for agreeing to give me a ride home later.
October 7, 2006, 8:44 a.m. - Wow, I knew it'd been a while since I blogged but I didn't think it'd been almost 3 months. Oh well, I have some time to kill as I mistakenly showed up an hour early for our meeting. JF and I make up the entire library committee at this point and somehow it's still incredibly difficult for us to co-ordinate meetings. He's been really busy lately between teaching Quick Kids classes and helping with 15 Pound Pink's latest project. And me, well, working nights suits my body just fine but it makes interacting with the rest of the world a tad difficult.
And when I say work, I mean work. In the two weeks I've been on the night crew, I have excreted enough sweat to fill a swimming pool, barely missed getting a concussion, nearly dislocated my shoulder and almost broken my ankle, and last time I took count, I had a total of 54 bruises on my body. For a while I looked like a leopard. And you know what? I don't regret any of it. It pays better, the hours are more stable and best of all, no customers!! I'm already feeling a lot stronger (like I really need more muscle), and the co-workers are great. Well, except for one guy who's already been fired for his continual unwelcome passes at me and this guy we've dubbed "Happy Meal" as his behaviour quickly showed he's a few fries short of a Happy Meal. I don't mind his stupidity but his laziness really irks me. Just last night he came up and started trying to do my stuff - really just getting in the way more than anything - and said there were no other pallets left to do. I pointed out two other full ones that he'd walked right past in order to get to me and he whined "Yeah, but those are tiles."
So? Chris does tiles all the fucking time, and everybody on the crew has to pull their weight and do some heavy stuff sometimes. As I explained to him, "This is nights. You come in and you work your ass off." Roger sent him back to Paint, he hadn't even finished the pallets he'd started there. Fucking lazyass.
This weekend is gonna be nuts. Dad's picking me up this afternoon and by the time we get to HR, I probably won't get any sleep before C+R arrive with the kids and hyper dog in tow. And then Sunday night I gotta come right back and be general manager in a fundraising casino for Quickdraw. Worst of all, Moe won't be coming home this weekend, she really wanted some time alone to recover after having to put Charlie to sleep. This has been a really bad year for dogs in our family, that makes three so far. I hope C+R's new dog has sense enough not to chew on electrical wires.
I've just about finished setting up a line-testing station in my living room. Now all I need is the damn camera itself. Which takes money. Which I don't have. Which I why I work nights. Which is why I just yawned. Which is why I'm going to crack open a Dr. Pepper.
July 1, 1:44 a.m. - Dear God, I only had two hours rest last night, why can't I sleep?....
My water heater putzed out sometime yesterday and despite my best efforts to warm up the bath with water boiled on the stove, it still felt like the Arctic Ocean. *sigh*......It's been a shit day. Caught off guard by an early uterus, no progress on my Venus Fly Toilet piece (in fact, now I'm further behind), cramps that feel like a wrecking ball in the gut, rude punks on the c-train, diarrhea thanks to overly greasy nachos, and to top it all off, I can't even clean my sweaty body without risking hypothermia. Whee.
....Okay, maybe I can sleep now. ....Maybe.
My PMS is running high. I can feel the hormonal hatred oozing through my limbs. Doing customer service tomorrow is not going to be pleasant.
June 30, 2:01 a.m. - I can't believe I haven't mentioned this yet; I'm not going back to ACAD, and I'm not one bit sad about it. In fact...
June 27, 1:54 a.m. - Calgary's Most Retarded Customer came through my till the other day. You know those gift cards you can buy where you choose the amount put on and it's scanned into the barcode on the back of the card? And usually they come attached to a paper backing which is used to hang the cards out for display...well, this guy came up to me with a grinder and when I told him the total, he hands me the backing - with no actual card. I figured maybe it'd come apart in his pocket or something so I asked him to check for it but he seemed absolutely convinced that no, this was a gift certificate, not a gift card, and said that he had actually pulled off the card and thrown it out. Right away I thought "Hoo boy, this is gonna be interesting," so I called Head Cash over and she explained to him again that there should be an actual card somewhere, the backing itself was useless. He persisted so she took it to our Supervisor who also insisted the backing alone had no cash value. He stlil didn't believe us even when we showed him an unpurchased card identical to the one he should've had. "My daughter buys me a gift certificate from you guys and you won't even honor it!" he growled, stomping away. Even the customers behind him were amazed at the display of sheer idiocy. He must've thrown it out in the car garbage because he was back within minutes with the card in hand, and when I politely asked if he still wanted to use it to buy the grinder (as opposed to something else), he snapped "Why would I come back if I didn't want to use it?!" I knew he was just mad because he knew it was totally his own fault, but it took everything I had to keep from kicking him. Hard. I didn't say one more word to him throughout the transaction and I even tossed his credit card back at him. The thing that concerns me most about this whole thing was that he got the gift card from his daughter - the bastard has successfully reproduced!
I'm now on the Board of Directors at Quickdraw. On a whim, I nominated Wayne and he got elected too. Yay! Maybe at our first meeting I'll go for Secretary. Still deciding on that...I'm acknowledging my birthday for the first time in fifteen years, nothing fancy, just a get-together at Moxie's. I hope Chris has the energy to go, but he's in the worst stretch of the radiation therapy right now so chances are pretty slim. I slept for 14 hours last night and it was heavenly. Matthieu's "Venus fly toilet" piece is about half done, I just need to add sound and credits and burn to DVD. I see some strange people in this city.
June 12, 12:38 a.m. - Curse this damn body. It adjusts to new routines far too quickly. Diane and Michelle were hired in the same blitz as me, and they've both shaved off at least 10 lbs. But me? Oh no. I haven't lost one damn ounce. *sigh* At least my feet don't hurt as much anymore.
This lady came stomping up to me the other day and asked if she could return her purchase with me 'cause she'd been waiting in line for ten minutes. I apologized and explained that all returns must be done at the Returns desk. Then she started ranting "Well why can't they call another cashier out here?" and I apologized again, admitting quite truthfully that we're horribly understaffed. "Well that's not my fault!" she whined and I finally snapped back "Well it's not mine either!" She stomped back to Returns without another word to me. The customers behind her were snickering but it still annoyed me. Grrbitch.
A really charming silky-soft little dog came through my till today (with her owners of course) and dammit I really do want a cute little pooch like that.
My chiropractor's office actually sent me a letter today "reminding" me that I still have about $70 outstanding. Like I'm not aware of it. I'm getting rather fed up with that place eating up all my money.
I found a caterpillar in my room the other day, just crawling around on my cel phone of all places. It was so damn tiny (11 mm)I didn't even realize it was a caterpillar but I wanted to know what it was in case there was likely to be more of them crawling around so I've been keeping it and feeding it. It likes romaine lettuce and apples and peaches and just by looking at it I can tell it has doubled in size in the last 72 hours. I've looked all over the net but I haven't been able to identify what species it is. And since my camera won't take a decent picture of it, I had to make a drawing to post up asking if anyone can ID it. I've let it set up home in a little old pill bottle, with a piece of a matchstick wedged in the center up near the top in case it wants to get off the wet poopy floor to spin a cocoon. But it spends most of its time either munching or weaving very fine silky webs all over the bottom of the bottle. Surprisingly, it seems to be drawing the thread straight out of its mouth rather than its bum the way you'd expect it to. The more I watch, the more fascinating it is. I wish I had its work ethic. And no, I haven't named it. Yet.
Google Earth rocks. Especially the terrain feature. Mount Everest sticks up so high that when you look at it from ground level, the satellite image stretches so hard it looks like the mountain's melting.
I think I may have found my future sanctuary, a little town called Sayward on northern Vancouver Island. It's cozy and rainy and close to the orcas. I'll have to go out there and see the place sometime.
June 9, 2006, 2:05 a.m. - I was cybertraveling on Google Earth just now and I decided to explore Mexico a bit so I zoomed in on a random town and the first thing I saw was a traffic jam caused by an accident. Hmm.
For the first time in my life, I actually want a credit card. I'm sick of not being able to order cool stuff online.
I watered my peas yesterday thinking "It's probably going to be hot for the next few days," so of course the sky was barfing out buckets of rain all day today. As a result, work was veeeerrrry slow, I only did a third of my usual sales. Still, time passed surprisingly quickly.
I really don't want to go back to ACAD next fall. BFA: Bachelor of Fuck-All. Is that stupid little piece of paper worth all the bullshit?
May 28, 2006 - Really wanting to find a playmate but seems impossible to find the time/energy. I've only been at my new job 3.5 weeks and I already feel very jaded.
There's a lot of pressure for me to run for the Board of Directors at Quickdraw. Not that I really want to, but with the amount of bitching I do about all the things around there that need improvement, it seems illogical not to.
Why am I sitting on the computer when I should be having a shower and going straight to bed so I can get up at 5 a.m.? Oh yeah, my feet hurt, that's why. And my left ear's sunburn blister is so infected, it looks like a dog chewed it.
And for some reason, my head really hurts. Feeling mildly nauseous as well. Delayed hangover? Possible. Where's my Tylenol? God I need a shower.
May 15, 2006 - Summer has arrived and with it, my annual craving for fresh fruit. I don't really like peaches too much but as I passed their display in the grocery store tonight I got a whiff of them, and something in my reptile brain reared up with a savage lust so I bought a few to ease whatever nutritional deficiency caused the craving. Two of them are already consumed, and I think the other three won't last long.
I've been experiencing fleeting chest pains recently. Combining that with my new job that puts all my weight on my feet all day, I think it's time I got serious about being more careful with what I eat and shaving off a few pounds here and there. I don't know if I'm condensing or what, but I've just really been feeling heavy lately, all through my limbs and trunk, and I don't like it one bit.
Les Claypool is accepting fan submissions for video and animation to use in music videos and I was getting really excited about putting something in but then I checked the rules and sure enough, Canadians aren't eligible. GrrrrRRRRRRRR!
On a lighter note, Lasse Gjertsen has tight editing skills.
Chris got his card from Richard Condie already. It's awesome - a typical Condie character in a hospital bed with a saw looming over his head and written beside it: "Chris: Get well and stay well or I'll saw your eyes in half. R. Condie". Now I just have to write a decent thank you letter.
The AMAAS conference is coming up in Olds this weekend. I heard it's going to be a really wild gig. Perhaps not by Gonzo standards, but certainly with an impressive amount of alcohol consumption. Looking forward to writing a report for the QAS quarterly.
May 6, 2006, 5:59 a.m. - I can't believe I'm up at this godforsaken hour. Curse my evil uterus for torturing me, even in my dreams I'm laid up on the couch writhing in agony. Maybe if I threaten it with the meat hook...
I have to be up now anyways. I start training for my new job at 8 am....on the other bloody side of the city. *sigh* It'll pay the rent. Remember that. It'll pay the damn rent.
Show and Sale was a waste of time. Didn't sell one single thing.
New roomie's settling in nicely. She was very patient with me in setting up my computer for the net (yes, I've bitten that bullet too).
Chris is doing really well. He's swallowing a lot better and there's very little of his speech that gives him much trouble anymore. His shoulder is still giving him plenty of grief though. =( So in an effort to help boost his spirits, I thought it'd be really cool if he had a signed doodle or something from Richard Condie (Chris is also a big Condie fan) so I did a little digging around and next thing I know I'm talking to Condie himself on the phone. First time it really registered, I got vertigo. Cripes, it still blows my mind.
Hmm. Out of both thoughts and time. Later.
April 20, 2006 - Setup for Spring Show and Sale was a bloody gong show. Stayed up all night, got here at 5:45 am (setup started at 6 am sharp) and found the place already swamped with cranky tired art students all weilding hammers and nails and gnashing their teeth fighting over wall space. Ugh.
Ended up sharing a free-standing wall space with Aaron, who's doing much better than me sale-wise. I've had a few lookers but none serious.
I'm tempted to do a big text painting that says "I fed a young artist for a month by buying this painting." Dragged my sore body home and got a very precious three hours of sleep before having to come back and do my security shift. I'm going to sleep really fucking well tonight.
No takers yet on the basement suite, but the upstairs might already be spoken for. Well, I suppose if I really had to I could bite the bullet with student loans and take the whole basement for myself. It'd be really nice, almost luxurious, to have my own space for once, and not have to worry about being in someone else's way or them being in mine.
April 14, 2006 - Had a dream last night about 90-ft. great white sharks that swam around high up in the sky eating seagulls and all of Santa's reindeer. And then come mating season the male chased the female (who kept slapping his face with her tail) along the surface of the ocean at about 200 mph and lashed a bunch of chains around her to help him keep a grip.
...
Dare I try to analyze this?
April 10, 2006 - Finally finished my silly Material Culture class. Learned almost nothing, but it gave me plenty of time to cross-stitch and doodle, which I've done very little of since starting at ACAD.
Marv Newland's visit was awesome. 10:30 Friday morning Sharon and I went to go pick him up at the airport and we just kind of stood watching, not really sure what he looked like and then I spotted this guy with big sunglasses, a red shirt, yellow tie, and tan corduroy pants and I instantly knew it was him. I suspect he probably hates his extreme underbite but I think it's wonderfully distinctive.
We all spent the day just kinda killing time 'til the screening. Citytv came by in the afternoon to do a promotional (after pulling a very unprofessional no-show on Monday - wankers!) and I dunno if it got on the news (I hope not) but they had the camera trained on him chatting with me about my cameraless piece and mock-advising me to stop using such old-fashioned methods immediately. He's really funny, always cracking jokes, and usually at his own expense. He took off on his own for a bit to explore downtown Calgary and came back muttering something about hockey riots brewing.
He loved Haley's nipple piece, and really raved about Chris Hinton's Flux, which we dug out and watched just before the screening started. I suppose I could've shoved one of my pieces in for him to see but I didn't really feel like trying to impress him and I'm too in awe to take any criticism without getting wounded. I mean, the guy's a living legend. It'd be like a three-year-old trying to amuse Liberace by pounding out "Mary Had a Little Lamb" with one finger.
Anyway, so the screening ensued. I think it's the only arts-related gathering I've been to where the food hasn't all been devoured in twenty minutes. My theory is that everybody was too busy trying to cozy up to Marv to bother with eating.
The screening room was sweltering, possibly from the use of traditional film projectors. Almost everything we watched was on 16 or 35 and it was awesome, it created this wonderfully casual home-movie kind of atmosphere in the place. It would take Richard a few minutes to get the next piece set up so Marv would get up and take questions, almost all of which came from Jon-Jon and Clement. Jon-Jon asked him what advice he had for aspiring young animators and he said something like "You just watched all this stuff and you want advice from me?" So humble. I had a couple of questions but they got answered before I could ask. *shrug*
But what really blew my mind was when he mentioned Wendy Tilby, whom I've always wanted to meet since I found out she did one of my absolute favorite animated pieces from watching Sesame Street as a little kid. It was a paint-on-glass piece that had this old woman and a little boy and a dog that kept getting all the cookies. Then I heard this female voice answer from the back of the room and I realized "Holy shit, she's here???"
I know it seemed like I was more excited about meeting her than Marv but it was just because I hadn't had weeks to become inured to the idea as I had with him. When I approached her afterwards, she was really nice and she seemed astounded that I even remembered that piece (which she had called "Tea with Auntie"). Apparently she lives right here in Calgary with Amanda Forbis (who was also there), and I've probably seen her before and just not known who she was. Damn...right under my nose all this time.
We didn't get finished the screening until about 11:15, so it was too late for me to take the bus home and I was too tired to make the trip home so, surprise surprise, yet another night on the Quickdraw futon for me. Marv headed out with Sharon and Kevin to some party that went into the wee hours of the morn but my energy levels were really not up for it.
When I woke up at about 11 the next morning, Andy was set up on his laptop, working on his snowflake project. He was down on the floor on his hand and knees, trying to plug something in, and had his butt sticking out to the door when Alan walked in and introduced Marv. I think that one's gonna be a chuckler around Quickdraw for a long time to come.
We set up two cameras to record the workshop, mostly for Chris' benefit, one was set up high on a tripod in the window for pan shots and the other one I held for closeup/zoom shots and better sound. So yes, you can blame the shitty shaky night-vision muffled video quality all on me.
The workshop was really intimate and casual, mostly just sitting around talking about silly experiences and hard-earned wisdom and looking over storyboards and animatics of previous works and one in progress, even giving ideas and suggestions for it. I think it's called Moonlight Roadster, something like that. I was sitting right next to him so I did a little portrait sketch of him that he was nice enough to autograph...
When it was over, he got Tilby to come pick him up (demanding a black Hummer limo on the phone), and Richard got him to sign a get-well card for Chris before he left. And then it was all over. Sharon said it best - "Marv Newland has left the building." I just felt incredibly spent in every way.
I packed up and went home and I only had time to grab a pop tart before meeting Richard at the hospital to visit Chris. He's making a remarkably speedy recovery from the surgery. We had him laughing so hard at one point we were afraid he would rip a stitch open or something. I'm gonna try to visit him again before Easter weekend.
Morgan Someone set up what I presume to be a sculpture/installation with live mice near the Art Hole here at school. One of them looks like it's got a pretty bad eye infection. If the school gets hit with a wave of pinkeye, we know who's to blame.
It's pissing rain again, for the fourth day in a row. Yaaaaaay! Damn, I love rain! It's like Marv brought Vancouver with him.
*yaaaawwwnnn* Okay, time to do this damn in-class essay. God bless caffiene. Wish me luck.
March 28, 2006 - Down at QAS again, today is book repair day. A lot of the jackets need a lot of help. I have an incredible sense of a shitstorm of stuff that needs to be done looming over my head - Show & Sale, research essay, Persuasion analysis, and a heap of painting/drawing to be done - but I feel strangely complacent about it. My nose is still a bit sniffly but I think I'm over the worst of it (knock on wood).
(A few hours later) - Well, somebody up there likes me today. I logged into the ACAD WebService to just try and figure out what classes to register for when my official web registration time starts at 9 a.m. tomorrow but just on a hunch I tried registering now and it worked! So I've already beaten the electronic hubbub and I'm already all signed up! Whew! It's so nice to not have to deal with that pressure.
March 22, 2006 - I've been spending a fair amount of time helping out down at Quickdraw in the library lately. I managed to get the movies sorted out and relabeled more clearly and everything, but now we need to get through the books as well: take inventory and tally up what all is missing, damaged, stolen, etc. And then figure out the cost of replacing/repairing said books, plus the costs of re-dubbing damaged and stolen movies. There's a time pressure on because the next production meeting is on April 5th and we need to have as much evidence as possible to back up our motion to reinstate funding for the library (currently there is NONE) and we need to give them specifics on just how much is needed so the board doesn't just say "OK, here's $100 a year. There, you're funded." I think for my efforts, I'm going to ask JF to try and get me free access to Marv Newland's workshop when he comes next month (it's $50). I think that's more than fair.
Next Wednesday is online registration for next semester. It's taking some effort to push myself into coming back for another year and to bother with all these little details.
I think I'm going to enter Bessie into EMMEDIA's Digital Sugar Cubed show coming up. I pray to God the mono sound complications I've had on my own TV won't show up in the screening. I'm not so keen on the idea of inking and coloring it anymore, I think my main beef (lol, I hadn't even intended that) is the shitty resolution of the Lunchbox captures, and the trouble with the sound. If I reshoot with Alan's higher quality digital camera, re-work the sound, and integrate Kev's suggestion of flashes during the credits, I think I could be happy enough to leave it alone after that.
Apparently Kevin has shown both Bessie and $1000/Minute to the new class. I keep trying to not let it go to my head, to tell myself it's not such a big honor. But it sure feels like one.
March 9, 2006 - Life's been a bloody gong show the last little while. My doll's critique was... well, let's put it this way. It took concerted efforts on my part to keep from just leaving the room, going down to the Registrar's, and just quitting this school altogether. It took me a week just to recover enough to start thinking of what to do next, but luckily I tapped into a real creative vibe and now in dealing with the optics of pure blue and red and their interactions, I think I might even have more stuff to show next week than Ally (and she's a painting machine).
A friend of mine that I hadn't hung out with for quite some time called me up to go for drinks and as soon as I hung up the phone, I decided that that would be the night I would tell him that romantically, nothing was gonna happen between us. 'Cuz he's just not the one. Unfortunately, he had asked me out for drinks to ask me if I'd like to start something serious. Errrrrrrrrrrg. We've both proclaimed that we want to try and stay friends, but I have my doubts at this point.
I wish I had some more experience with sand animation, the folks from the Calgary Stampede want someone to do some Alberta-related sequences that will go up onto a big screen during the Grandstand Show to be seen by thousands of people. It would look really damn good on the CV but I think Anna's gonna scoop that one up.
My metabolism seems to be skyrocketing (hunger is almost a constant) and I can't figure out why. But my libido snuck off somewhere when I wasn't looking. Not that I really had anything for it to do. But still.
Less than a month now 'til Marv Newland comes to town. I'm psyched. I wonder what the workshop's gonna be about. It'd be awesome if we could get enough people to whip out a collaborative piece like Anijam or Pink Konkommer. I'm determined to get Bessie at least inked and into the computer so I can run it by him when he's here. Christ, I can't believe Richard offered to let me introduce him the night of his talk! I need to figure out what the hell to say. Short and sweet. Must remember to take audio notes for a newsletter article. 2:02 p.m. Time to get the posters approved and up around the school.
February 15, 2006 - Well, my enthusiasm for school hasn't improved all that much, despite pep talks from family and friends, but at least I'm not lagging behind in my work. I'm actually (gasp!) somewhat enjoying the project I'm doing right now for my drawing class with Kottman, my self-portrait doll is turning out a lot more Tim Burton-ish than I'd intended but it's not unwelcome, and I'm enjoying the relaxing nature of needlework. But this will definitely be the last self-portrait. I'm not sure what I'll do next but it won't...can't be that.
Maybe I'll just start sewing and tying random objects together. Drill holes in them and then sew 'em up tight. Just weird combinations of objects, like a cigarette to a hairbrush, or a chicken bone to a chair, or a gummy worm to a vibrator. Obsessive Compulsive Surrealism.
My sleep rhythms got all screwed around and slipped back into their preferred routine of getting up at 3 p.m. and going to bed at about 6 a.m., which is very inconvenient for classes.
I finally got fed upwith Niq's crap still taking up space in our living room, so I phoned her up and curtly gave her an ultimatum. She had her shit out the next morning. Why did something that took only about 20 minutes to do require two months to get around to? The more crap I hear about her, the less I respect her.
Marv Newland is coming to Calgary in April, I'm really looking forward to that! I'm tempted to ask Richard to ask him to bring one of the original drawings from Bambi Meets Godzilla. I doubt after all these years of keeping them that he'd be willing to part with any of them at any price, but I'd love to just actually see one of them.
Arg! I'm hungry again already?? Cripes, physical maintenance can be so annoying. Sometimes I wish we could just have a permanent hook-up to the stomach that you could just pump water and nutrients into, kinda like the reverse of a colostomy bag. That way I could have my mouth sewn shut and never have to worry about the temptations of junk food. Or having to talk to people and try to be sociable.
Reflecting on that last paragraph, I think I may have been born into the wrong species.
February 9, 2006 - My inebriated roommates convinced me to go in with them on pizza the other night and I've been spending much of my time since then either in the bathroom or in bed.
I'm really sick of this whole self-portrait thing. I should never focus on myself for longer than a week or I start getting all depressed and cranky and self-pityingly lethargic. But I dragged my ass out to Quickdraw and after spending some time helping JF catch up with the library returns, I'm feeling a bit less useless.
I know I should stick it out at ACAD and get my BFA but I must confess, if Kevin offered me an internship at Fifteen Pound Pink Productions, I don't think my resolve would last more than a few minutes. I'm starting to wonder if I should be an artist at all, I just don't seem to have that huge passionate drive they're always harping about being so essential.
January 24, 2006 - There's plenty of other big things happening but I'm not really in the mood to write much. Rough weekend. Voting was easy, final Twinrix shot was bearable, but Foster....
Let me put it this way. I carried him into the vet's and laid him down on the table as gently as I possibly could. He lost control of his bowels and it was bloody.
I don't grieve his death, I grieve that he suffered so badly before it finally released him.
Foster1996-2006
I need a new body. This one never really worked right. And the boobs are boring.
I also need more money. I had to bite the bullet and buy a computer the other day so I now have less than $500 to survive and go to school with for the next 3.5 months. Woo-dipdee-hoo. Where's that goddamn resume? And don't expect me to be online any more than I am now, that computer shall never see the Internet. I can't afford viruses (viri?).
An old friend and I produced this many years ago and I can't believe belch.com still has it posted.
My stomach has reared its head and let out a most peculiar burbledy-gurbledy noise so I should probably go feed it before the kids sitting next to me realize that it's actually a baby alien about to burst forth.
....
January 4, 2006, 2:06 p.m. - I find it more than a bit eerie that I'm writing this at the exact same time of day as the last entry. I've decided that I need a vacation from this vacation. Both my niece and nephew were sick over the holidays and the crying became so constant I couldn't even escape it in my fitful nightly slumberings. It also turns out their dear old pooch Sasha has an aggressive tumor that's ruptured her spleen and putting blood in her urine and dear God, she's not whining but that doesn't mean she's not hurting so put her out of her misery for chrissake! Our dog Foster is showing ominous signs of being in his last year as well. He's not having one of his seizures, but he trembles a little all the time now, I suspect he's had a stroke or something when no one was around. =(
On a more pleasant - or at least, less sour - note, my roommate search has ended. Unfortunately in coming back from the holidays, I discovered some of my old roommate's stuff still lying around and I get the distinct feeling that if I don't give her some sort of nasty ultimatum, it could stay there forever. I hate having to play the bitch.
My friend Sarah is heading out to Van to pursue her passions in set design and I'm rootin' for her all the way but damn I'm gonna miss her. Not that I see her a lot anyway while I'm at school but it's somehow worse knowing that I no longer have the option of just hopping on a bus and being there within three hours. But hey, Stephie's back. Hee hee hee. .....Hee hee. You can't see it or hear it but I really am rubbing my hands with mischievous glee.
I recently saw Google put their logo up in multicolor Braille. That's either cruel or incredibly stupid and I'm so dozey right now I can't decide whether to laugh or be annoyed.
I need to find a new poison, vodka doesn't seem to do the trick anymore. Not rum. Not wine. Definitely not bourbon. Hmmm...grr. Stomach burbling. Over and out.
December 22, 2005, 2:06 p.m. - well, the final critique went well, most students thought Bessie was the strongest piece in the class (yay!) but it turns out Bessie's got a few problems with sound. Two of the most crucial sounds were recorded in mono and although they sounded fine wherever I played them at Quickdraw, when I played it at home on my own TV, you can barely hear them. Grrr, evil mono!! Oh well, I'm planning to reshoot Bessie on 16 mm after the holidays anyway, I'll fix it up then. But it's still a pisser.
The roommate search is going rather dismally. All the responses so far have been dead-ends, either not interested or changing their mind or only wanting to stay three months or just plain freaky-sounding. Jan. 1 looms overhead, why am I not wigging out about this? I suppose I am stressing out on some subconscious level that will ferment over the next few days and then manifest as either indigestion or fever or spontaneous human combustion. But in the meantime, I feel strangely calm.
Talked to my soon-to-be ex-roommate on the phone last night and we were still civil then but I saw her at the mall (aka zoo) today and called out to her and I swear she looked right at me and then just kept right on walking. Wtf? *sigh* Sometimes I really hate having to deal with other humans.
Now that school's done, I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to get everything done that I need to before heading out to High River for the holidays. My poor little brain hurts and needs a rest. Wow, I still haven't eaten yet today. Must remember to do that.
I'm sitting at the library public net access right now and there's someone in the background somewhere hissing like a vampire in heat, and it's starting to make me really fidgety.
This will likely be my last blog before January, seeing as there's no computer at my folks' place and the library there will be closed even longer than the bank. A restful holiday to you all and don't drink too much of that rum and eggnog. It will catch up with you later.
December 21, 2005, 12:03 a.m. - It's done.
It's DONE. Bessie is finally really truly actually
DONE!!!!!
Is any of this enthusiasm getting through to you?
December 19, 2005, 6:17 p.m. - Wow, nothing takes the edge off your frustrations like a good cry in the intercine room followed by Domino's pizza.
I've had to kill a lot of my babies, as Kevin would say, in order to get Bessie finished for the deadline. I'll be happy enough with it for now, but I will definitely want to rework it sometime later.... when the wounds have healed.
December 18, 2005, 11:15 a.m. - note to self: animating with even a mild hangover really Sucks...... Big. Hairy. Donkey. Balls. Jean-Francois has lovely classical music filling the studio but my brain can't handle that kind of sensory input right now. God bless foam earplugs.
I've been toiling over Bessie so steadily the last few days that I'm not sure if I can really see what's working and what isn't. It's like sitting too close to the TV screen to really see the movie. I'd need a day off to really step back from it but I don't have that time to spare at this point. Hell. At least I know how I'm going to end it. If I get to that point. Blaaaaaarg!
Got some very entertaining footage last night of Haley drunkenly trying to plunge the toilet, but the firewire refused to import it into iMovie. Pity. Must try again later and burn it onto DVD.
Apparently she has a small cult following down under after her Aussie friend Michael got some footage of her wearing nothing but duct tape Xs over her nipples and used it in a movie he made and screened at his university. Good times indeed.
Now I'm just grasping for something to ramble on about to avoid Bessie. Of the two of us, I'm not sure who needs a cattle prod more....
December 15, 2005, 12:45 p.m. - wow, look at me, up and functional before sunset. Bessie's plodding along like a......yeah. Like one of my thoughts today. But I've kept it looping on the Lunchbox almost all the time to get reactions, and everyone that's happened upon it so far giggles at least once. This is one of my favorite frames in it so far. Speaking of giggles....
Found proof of a hardcore Hertzfeldt fan yesterday, the foxy girl at Bushido was nice enough to let me disappear with the original photo to scan it in so I could e-mail it to Bitter Films. They get a kick of that sort of thing, and rightly so I guess. I'd probably freak if I saw my stick figure drawings permanently etched on some stranger's flesh.
Goddammit, quit screwing around. Drawdrawdrawdrawdrawdrawdrawdrawdr
December 13, 2005, 2:39 p.m. - apparently one can draw in their sleep. I have a few frames here that I have no recollection of drawing. Oh well, at least all my other courses are finally all done so now there's nothing to distract me from Bessie. Not that that means I'm working any faster or anything. I may actually need to resort to hiring an assistant to follow me around with a cat 'o' nine and give me a lashing whenever I stray from my Quasimodo-like posture over the light table.
There's a highly annoying little red bump on the base of my right elbow that makes it impossible to draw comfortably and I'm hoping it will go away soon. But at least Krazy Glue fixed the problem of the little cut on my finger re-opening every time I wash my hands. I really do live here, Quickdraw now looks like my apartment: drawn curtains, dark and quiet, crap everywhere. I am a hermit in training.
Made a really cool new friend last night, too bad she lives in Edmonton or I'd be asking her out for sure. Or at least, thinking about asking her out and then never getting the courage to actually do so.
Goddammit, get drawing again! You have a month's worth of work to do in eight days! Draw, longhaired monkey, draaaaawwwww!
December 9, 2005, 3:22 a.m. - Initial pencil tests for Bessie (title may change) are looking good so far. Just a few bitsy tweaks and the first sequence is all good. I just wish I knew for sure how it's going to end. I'm getting far too little sleep and consuming far more caffeine than can possibly be safe for my brain and pulse, but hopefully I'll be able to get this thing pulled together for the deadline on the 21st. I may even be able to ink and color it, oh be still my beating heart... I can't say the same for the rest of the kids in my class, I haven't seen any of them in here working at all. And believe me, I'm here enough of my waking hours, I would know. Ha ha ha, I have no life!
The roommate search continues. Four responses so far, and all of them dead ends. Pbbbt.
December 5, 2005, 1:00 a.m. - Well, so much for getting home before 10:30. In fact, at the rate this DVD burning is going, it looks like I could very well be spending the night on the futon yet again. Oh well, I'll be happy to finally have all my completed films compiled into a single unit now. I hope they're not getting sick of me crashing here. I'm trying to earn my keep by catching mice. Yes, we did finally get the little bugger I mentioned on the 26th. Apparently the trap only caught his nose so he was just flailing around in agony until Alan decided to finish the job with his shoe. He'd removed the body by the time I arrived on the scene and what was left was surprisingly innocent-looking. The splatter was disappointingly ungory. I know I sound cruel, and two years ago I would never have said it, but then for a while I actually bred and raised mice as fresh food for my snake and so I got to know the great depth of their revolting nature on a very intimate level. I have no sympathy whatsoever for them anymore.
My old high-school chum Jessie Gae-no...shit, what's her married name now?...Crap I forget. Well, I remembered that it was her birthday, but then I totally forgot to actually call or email her. Dumbass.
This DVD burning is making disturbingly slow progress. It doesn't say it's frozen up but it sure looks that way. I really wish computers responded to physical threats. Erg. That was fucked up. The computer screen just flickered like the power threatened to go out or something. I think maybe the hard drive's having a seizure.
Time to go scratch on some black leader.
5:25 a.m.- what a shit night. Only got 4 DVDs burned and even then, the sound on them is screwed up. Half the soundtrack for Brain Blockage somehow got shuffled and instead plays during $1000/Minute; both my best films totally wonked. GrrrrrRRR! I hate technology. Completely unable to sleep at this point, my brain got its second wind so now I'm trying to tire it out with Spongebob Collapse (I don't think I'll ever get bored with this game). Christ, I've got to be alert and sociable for final crit in just a few hours, it's shaping up to be a crud day unless something really fantastic happens like Hunter S. Thompson coming back from the dead and shooting the goofy child president in the ass. At any rate, I'm glad to be done that retarded drawing class. It gave me absolutely no new ideas. Click bloop, clickclickclickbloBLOOP....
December 2, 2005, 6:01 a.m. - There's a lot to be said for reshooting a piece you're only 99% happy with. Brain Blockage is looking sooooo much better this time 'round. I would say a lot more of that lot to be said, but it's somehow become 7:34 a.m. since I started typing this and so methinks it's time for beddy-bye.
9:49 p.m. same day - Put the finishing touches on Brain Blockage including some terrific sound effects and burned five copies of it. Yours truly is a happy old fluffball. I'm very pleased with the unplanned pencil lead sequence, it turned out to be one of the funniest bits in the whole film. Of course, five years from now when my filmmaking skills have improved exponentially, I'll probably be horribly embarrassed by this piece, but I'll enjoy the pride for now while it lasts.
I need to find a new roommate, not like I didn't see it coming, she's never there anyways. Then again, the same could be said for me. I really do just about live at Quickdraw. On the bright side, there's hardly a better time for this, plenty of kids starting a new semester and/or sick of living on campus in a smelly noisy dorm. I just hope I can find one whose feet aren't so.....pungent.
November 29, 2005, 12:55 a.m. - Psychiatrists say that when you have a song stuck in your head, it's called an "earworm". Well dammit, I'm surprised I can't see this one sticking out of my ear, it's so big. Damn Log Driver's Waltz, it's been three days now! Damn John Weldon! Damn Wade Hemsworth! Damn you all to hell! I'm kidding, of course. It's my monthly hormones, pay it no mind.
I know it's sick but every time I see it I can't resist playing with the huge blister on my leg. Whoa, whoa, put down the pepper spray, let me explain; last night a few of my candles got out of control and in the course of trying to contain the flames, I splashed boiling molten wax on my leg. So now I have what looks and feels like a baby jellyfish latched to my skin - gross and yet strangely fascinating. Ironically, enough smoke was produced that it set off the detector and I ended up having to open the door and let in the freezing winter fresh air and lost all the heat I'd been trying to build up with all the damn candles. *sigh* I want an electric blankie for Christmas.
......I said "blankie".
I've been at Quickdraw aaallllllll day today *manic giggle* Once this course is over I won't have unlimited access to the Lunchbox and other line testers so I'm milking it for all it's worth while I can. I'm really quite happy with the piece I'm working on right now, it's been surprisingly relaxing as animation goes. The non sequitor stream of consciousness approach lets the idea take me wherever it wants to go. It's been a lot of fun and I think it shows in the results. Now if only I could find some Tylenol to make my abdomen shut up. FREE TO A GOOD HOME: One uterus. Never used. A tad cantankerous.
November 26, 2005, 3:36 a.m. - I am now officially a night owl once more! Yaaaay! It's 3:38 and my body is screaming for rest, with my itchy eyes leading the chorus, but my brain says "ha ha! watch me dance. ...sleep? or at least do something productive like storyboards or breaking out the black leader? never! Let's go test out the fire extinguisher and put unopened cans of Chunky soup in the microwave!" This is just me - no (illegal) drugs, I swear. Oh well, at least I had sense enough to just stay here at Quickdraw rather than insist on trying to limp all the bloody way home to my own bed like I did last night, which didn't work out anyways because I stupidly left my keys in the door to Quickdraw and so ended up collapsing on the couch in an acquaintance's apartment, the smell of which did not agree with my already-sensitive stomach. What is it with me and long sentences? Anyway, my physical condition upon getting up this morning had me ready to throw out all my booze completely. But don't worry, I'm not that stupid, no matter what you've heard.
School is going well enough, though there's very little of my work that I'm really happy with, and I still constantly chastise myself for floundering like a tadpole in wet cement with only half the workload of some of my fellow students. I am Richard Condie's apprentice, eternally trapped behind the tree.
In less than 6 months, my brain has almost completely forgotten how to work with still images. Animation has been gradually taking over my entire creative process, until I'm producing a short film almost every two or three weeks on average and sweet jesus why do I always end up doing this kind of stuff to myself? Whatever it is, I'm getting haunted more and more frequently by the notion of just saying fuck art school and installing myself completely into Quickdraw. But then I remember how much student debt I have racked up already and slink back into the dungeon with my tail between my legs. Damn, I really wish we had tails.
I tried to promise myself that this year I would have more fun and unfortunately I've discovered that what most of my friends consider fun - drinking, getting high, going out to noisy smelly clubs until sunrise - is almost guaranteed to fuck with my brainwave patterns enough to make life very unfun for me. Hee hee, unfun. Fununfununfununfun. Wow, I am tired now. So anyway, that's left me with a great deal of alone time and it's with some chagrin that I've come to accept that the only way I can be sociable and functional on a regular basis is to get decent sleep, avoid alcohol and pot, and try to keep the big picture in mind. You silly dork, you're starting to sound like a grownup. Go make a mud pie or something.
Maybe it's all my imagination, but it seems like since I started getting chiropractic adjustments on my neck and lower back, guys seem to be noticing me more. It's like the adjustments cause me to emit some kind of pheromone. Unfortunately, it must be an "old pervert" pheromone because the vast majority of these guys are 40+ years old and usually rather haggard looking.
Shit, there goes that bloody mouse again. What is it with mice in this city? I'm tempted to give chase but I know from experience that this mental state of caffiene-fed insomnia leaves me highly susceptible to erratic shifts of planetary gravity and I'll probably just end up crashing into and breaking something very expensive. Badbadbad idea. I'll get him later, the little pisser. I wonder what the longest sentence ever written is. I bet I could top it.
I kissed Sharon on the cheek today and my word, that girl's got the softest skin I've ever had the pleasure of putting my lips to. It was like warm living silk. Too bad she's almost certainly hetero.
OK, my eyes are threatening to go on strike now. Turn the lights off, kick off your shoes and curl up on the futon. Hugs and a prayer for everyone battling cancer tonight.
4:32 a.m.
May 19, 2005 - What's new with me? Absolutely dick-all. Hell, there's hardly even anything old with me either. No love life, no summer job yet (but I have an interview on Friday), social life is in critical condition, I'm seriously questioning whether art school is worth returning to, and my bank account has a hole in it about the size of the Grand Canyon. *sigh*. Trying to be optimistic about my life isn't very easy with so little to try and be optimistic about. But goddammit, I'm trying. So don't bitch. And so much for all that....