You see, in real life, I work in our nation's
capital as an Intern at the real White House.
(No kidding!)
Well, it's not actually "work," since I don't
get paid anything yet, but word is "out" that
my position has lots of advancement potential!
The best part is being friends with Betty, the Pres-
ident's personal secretary. You won't ever know how
many jams she has gotten us out of--I mean ME out of!
But I sure don't like all those vicious rumors about
Betty that are always circulating around Washington!
I mean, how could she be Rose Mary Woods in disguise?
And what's all this new talk I've been hearing? Some-
thing about Betty taking the "fifth." She's got plen-
ty of liquor at home, she wouldn't need anyone else's!
Oh, on my first day in DC, I almost got to date one
of those Kennedy cousins. I don't remember which guy
it was now, but it all fell through when he flew off
to Colorado that night instead--found out later that
he went out with a different girl instead of me, but
I forget now what her name was. (Oh yeah, JonBenet!)
And just yesterday, I met an ambassador from Jamaica.
It's funny, but someone must have told the ambassador
the name of the Intern who would be escorting him to
the Oval Office, because when I first saw him coming
down the hall, I'm sure I heard him say "Hey, Mon!"
Then there was that time the First Lady was out of town,
& the President needed someone to fill in at a reception;
& wasn't I a surprised young person when he picked little
ol' me from Beverly Hills High School for the assignment!
President Clinton asked me if I had ever gone to school
with that Shannen Doherty. I had to explain to him that
that little bitch was only on the Beverly Hills TV show,
and that at the real high school, we wouldn't have let
a girl like her live past third period! (He chuckled.)
My only real complaint about working here is that same
thing I kept hearing about during the government shut-
down--how short-staffed the President was. But what I
didn't know--just how short the Presidential 'staff' is!
I just can't say enough about how much fun it is here,
but it is time for me to go now and do some REAL work!
(Comin', Bill!) I hope you enjoyed my White House Page!