Well it's been four months since we moved into Little Eden. The novelty has in no way worn off, in fact each day seems better than the one before. In some small, secret, cynical part of myself I am waiting for the bubble to burst.
When we first decided to move out here we discussed what we wanted to do on our farm. Being "mature" adults, we decided against getting any livestock untill we were well and trully established. The children were disappointed about this decision but Chris and I were unrelenting. We were going to do this "right"..no mistakes! After all, the closest we have come to farming has been rearing orphaned kittens and growing some potted herbs!
Well it doesn't take a genius to guess what comes next! Yep..we got an animal..a goat to be exact. We had only been at the farm for about two weeks when we got "Bo" the Cashgora whether (Angora cross Cashmere desexed male goat)
We put Bo by the conservatory so we could keep an eye on him as he wasn't used to being tethered. Every time he saw us he would charge in our direction and then get pulled up short on the tether. He would bleat plaintively and we would all feel so terribly guilty! With my wonderful livestock sense I came up with a posititvely brilliant solution.
I summed up the problem..Bo sees us, Bo runs towards us and gets hurt..therefore take Bo out of sight..simple!
After one last pat and cuddle the children took Bo off to the bottom paddock and tethered him to the stock yards. He had to be tethered as the paddock was hardly stock proof, which is why we had decided not to get animals in the first place! Every half hour or so the children would dash off to see Bo and everytime they did that we were back to the same problem. He would pull on his tether and cry! The heavy duty guilt complex set in once more and I told the children to leave Bo on his own, no more visits for at least an hour. He had to learn to cope on his own.
My girls "clock watched" for the next 45 minutes or so (so did I but I would never admit that to them!) Finally they could stand it no more and asked if they could pack a picnic lunch and have a picnic in the paddock with Bo. Of course I agreed and they set about raiding the pantry for snacks, salad sandwiches, a cookie or two and a drink and, of course, some carrot sticks for Bo.
Off they went down the drive carrying their picnic hamper, looking like children out of a story book and I felt so happy, this is the life I wanted for my children.
Not five minutes had passed when Tarryn came running up the drive shouting something incomprehensible. It sounded like she said "He got hung, he's dead!" Not wanting to believe what I thought I heard, I tried to decipher it..."He's hungry I'm going to the shed?" perhaps? Unable to think of anything else she could mean all I could do was wait for her to reach the door to clarify herself.
Chest heaving, eyes streaming, cheeks flushed with exertion she spluttered "Mum, you have to do something! He's dead! He hung himself!"
I felt my heart flip over and my stomach churn.I couldn't believe it, maybe she was over dramatising the situation, maybe he was just stuck? Why oh why does this have to happen to me!! Chris was away in Tokoroa, I still could not get out of the wheelchair, we knew no one but the lady who sold him to us. I have never felt so alone in my life.
I had no choice but to phone Val (the lady we got Bo from) what else could I do? She seemed so nice, a wonderfully warm person whom I was drawn to immediately. With trembling hands and feeling sick to the stomach I made the call. Half an hour later Val and her husband Rob arrived to help the children with Bo. They buried him and then came up to the house. Val hugged me as I tried desperately not to cry. We have become firm friends over the intervening months, although I really wouldn't have blamed her if she never wanted to speak to me again after the Bo fiasco.
So...Stocksense..do I have any? Well I think that is something I have started to develop. The Bo incident was a learning experience, a very tragic one but valuable all the same.
Ignorance is not bliss. Ignorance kills.