On the second day, God created man to serve the cat.
On the third day, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the cat.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labor for the good of the cat.
On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball so that the cat might or might not play with it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but he had to scoop the litterbox.
*Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours
*Variety is the spice of life: one day ignore people, the next day annoy them and play with them when they're busy
*When in doubt, cop an attitude
*Climb your way to the top--that's why the drapes are there
*Never sleep alone when you can sleep on someone's face
*Make your mark in the world--or at least spray in each corner
*When you go out into the world, always remember, being placed on a pedestal is a right, not a privilege
*Always give generously--a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care"