~Oeufs a la Neige and Sugar Cookies~

Dimitri hummed "It Might As Well Be Spring" happily, swirling the
meringue in his Oeufs a la Neige.

This was the life.  It had taken him forty-three years, but he had achieved the
perfect idyllic existence.

He glanced around the dining table.  There was Anya, his beautiful wife who
he loved more than life itself; Tasha, his adventurous daughter taking a break from her studies as a nurse for the upcoming holiday; Nikolas, the bright and
artistic son, teaching the family sign language he was learning from his
internship as an assistant teacher at the Academy for the Hearing Impaired.

Yes, his life was perfect.  Nothing could shatter it now.

Tasha squirmed in her seat.  Where was he?  She had expected him here
fifteen minutes ago!  Come on, Max, hurry up...her father wouldn't be sitting
down for dinner forever!

Her thoughts were answered by the familiar chime of the doorbell.  Tashie exhaled the breath she had been anxiously holding in.  She glanced over at her mother, the two women sharing a knowing smile.  Even Nikky seemed excited, squeezing his sister's hand reassuredly under the table.

Dimitri raised a dark eyebrow.  "Who would be here at this time of --"

"I'll get it!" Tasha quickly jumped from her seat and ran to the door at full speed, straightening her sloppy joe sweater as she went.

Nikolas and Anya had the same silly grin across their fair faces, exchanging looks as they anxiously awaited the arrival of their 'unexpected' dinner guest.

Something smelled of fish, no doubt.  Dimitri crossed his arms.  "What exactly is going on here?"

Tasha stepped into the room, pulling Max in behind her.  "Daddy, Mom,
Nikky, you all know Maxime Montpeau..."

"Hello, Max," Dimitri muttered with a look of pure disfavor and antagonism on his face.  He had only met his daughter's boyfriend a few times and knew little about the boy -- except that he didn't like him!

"Hello, sir!  Ma'am!  Nikky!" Max eagerly turned towards Tasha, his green
eyes dancing as he looked into her deep brown ones.

"You seem cheerful tonight.  Amputate a few arms in medical school today?"
Dimitri said, his voice full of overly sparkling sarcasm.  Anya quickly kicked his leg under the table.

"Such a joker!" She narrowed her eyes slightly.  "AREN'T
YOU DEAR?"

Her husband smiled -- or was it smirked? -- at Max.  "You know me.  Always like to keep things humorous."

"And you ARE funny, sir!  Extremely!  The funniest older gentleman -- "

"OLDER GENTLEMAN?"  Dimitri's brown eyes widened.  "I don't even
have any gray in my hair!  All right, maybe a FEW strands, but --"

Tasha laughed nervously.  So far this wasn't going quite as expected.  "He's just kidding, Dad."

Anya cleared her throat impatiently.  If they were going to tell Dimitri, they'd better do it soon.  "Anything IMPORTANT coming up, Tasha?"

Her daughter's eyes became bright and twinkling, a dazzling display of deep brown that almost gave her secret away.  "Something VERY important.  Dad...Max and I...Dad?  Dad, are you listening?"

Dimitri was staring in the dining room mirror, eyes crossed and looking upward.  "Four...Five...Six strands of gray.  Just six!  See?"

"Daddy."

"And see, this sixth one is kind of stuck to the fifth, so really it's just ONE
strand, which makes it only five --"

"Daddy."

"And look, look!  I don't have any around my ears!  Most men my age do!"

"I'm getting married, Daddy."

"And this one is --"  Dimitri paused.  He slowly turned to look at Tasha, his eyes wide in disbelief.

She nodded, awaiting his answer with baited breath.

"You just said...you said...I'm getting HAIRY, Daddy, right?  Not...not...that 'M' word..."

Anya happily ran to Max, giving him a large hug.  "Welcome to the family!
We're so glad to have you!"

Nikky lifted his sister off her feet, twirling her around once.  "Congrats, Sis!  Now someone else can be bugged constantly by you!"

Tasha laughed, a vivacious undertone present.  "You're too kind, Nik!"

The four made excited conversation, asking questions and telling answers,
bubbling with the thought of a wedding to be held soon.

Dimitri wasn't participating.

He was sitting in front of his oeufs a la neige, realizing that the meringue had
gotten soggy, and the oh-so-delicate custard chewy.
~*~

"How did I get stuck picking out colors?" Dimitri mumbled, flipping through
the coordination guide.

"Because you hated all the ones we showed you," Anya responded pointedly.  "I don't see the problem with red and green.  It IS a Christmas wedding, isn't it?"

"She'll look like a bough of holly!"  He protectively put his arm around
Tasha.  "My little girl isn't going to look like a plant!"

Tashie laughed.  "Dad, come on!  I'm not a little girl!  I'm twenty-one and
engaged!"

Dimitri pouted, muttering miserably under his breath.

He glanced over at Max, who was talking on the phone to his parents in Chartres, an hour away from Paris.  He was arranging a time for the
soon-to-be inlaws to meet around he and Tasha's internship schedules at the
L'hopital de Paris, the largest medical facility around.

The father of the bride made a face.  He didn't trust Max.  He was...too
perfect.  Always cheery, getting a good job in the medical field, rich,
handsome, pristine manners -- NO ONE was that faultless!

He was reminded of an article he had seen in the paper a month ago about a
killer put into prison.  The man had been perfect on the outside, a matchless
one, but deep down he had been dark and gruesome.

Max fit that description perfectly.  In fact, he might BE a killer, one yet to be
caught by the police, Dimitri reasoned.  He might be an accomplice to one, a
kind of 'murderer in training'!

His mind was made up.  He was going to get to the bottom of Max's 'boy-
next-door' front and see just what his motivations for marrying Tasha might
be.  He wasn't going to let his little girl be the next in a line of innocent
women victimized!

He excused himself from the coordinating, slipping into the Leongard's nicely furbished den.  He picked up the phone and rotated the digits until he was able to reach Nikky's extension.

Come on, pick up...pick up!  Surely he wasn't too busy with the kids
to answer the phone!

"Thank you for calling Missier Academy for the Hearing Impaired.  This is
Nikolas speaking.  How may I help you?"

"Nikky, you need to get over here right away!"

"It's almost my lunch break.  What's the problem?"

"Max," Dimitri said, pausing for his usual melodramatic suspense, "is a killer."

"DAD!"

"All right, all right, he may only be the 'accomplice' to a killer, but the fact
remains that you need to get over here!"

Nikky sighed heavily.  "Dad, come on.  I was going out to
lunch with Lise --"

"You go dancing everynight with Lise!  You can skip a lunch!  This is your
sister's safety we're talking about!"

Yeah, her safety from a deranged father!

Nikky chuckled at his own thoughts.  "I have some paper work to catch up
on, and I need to get ready for this afternoon's lesson.  I'm teaching the kids
about watercolors --"

"Watercolors, schmatercolors!"

"I'll be home right at five, I promise."

"But we'll be on our way to Chatres then!"

"It's the best I can do, Dad."

Dimitri pursed his lips in frustration.  "Fine, fine.  Whatever you do, don't let your mother know about any of this!"

"Trust me, Dad, I won't," Nikolas agreed.  "She'd have you committed to an
asylum!"
~*~

"Well?  Where are they??"  Dimitri tapped his foot anxiously.  "How many
times do I need to ring the doorbell before they'll open up??  We've been standing on this porch forever!"

"Dimitri!" Anya scolded.  "Behave!"

He turned his back to her, mimicking the words, one of his favorite tricks.

Behave, she says.  Maybe if Max wasn't a killer he COULD behave!

Tasha laid her head on her father's shoulder, reminding him of the days he used to read her bedtime stories in the same pose.

"They're really nice, Daddy.  Madame Montpeau makes excellent cookies."

"I just wish they'd answer their -- HELLO!" he shouted, realizing that the door had been opened.

Mr. Montpeau looked at the people on his front steps, his long mustache twitching.

In a single swoop, he grabbed Dimitri and gave him a large hug.

"BONJOUR!  BONJOUR!  YOU MUST BE ZEE LEONGARDS!  COME
IN, COME IN!"

Dimitri grimaced from Monsieur Montpeau's eagerness as he was shooed
inside by the overly gracious host.

"It eez so wonderful for you to come here today!" Montpeau gave Anya a
hug, then kissed her cheek in the usual Frenchman way.  "You are zo
beautiful, just like zee belle Tasha!  Tasha!  Oh where are you today, Tasha?
There you are!  Come here, daughter!"

He followed with a big embrace. Dimitri narrowed his eyes.  NO ONE called
HIS daughter their own 'daughter'!

"OOH LA LA, and who eez this young handsome gentleman??  Nikolas??"  He swooped Nikky up, hugging him tightly.  "Such an honor!"

Nikky smiled at Dimitri as he allowed Montpeau to squeeze him.  See?  The family was perfectly...well, normal wasn't QUITE the word...

Anya looped her arm through Dimitri's.

"Don't you feel silly now?" she whispered.  "Getting so worked up
about nothing."

Dimitri narrowed his eyes at Montpeau.

"I don't trust him," he answered quietly.

Anya laughed.  "You've never trusted anyone."

"This time I have a bad feeling."

She kissed his cheek, then grabbed his face so his ear was against her lips.

"You make one wrong move tonight, embarrassing Tasha, and
you'll be sleeping on the couch, Dimitri -- for the rest of your life!"

Before he had a chance to respond, they were all led into the opulent sitting
room.  It was covered in luxury from every corner: thick velvet cloths, shiny golden fixtures, elegant crystal vases.

Living in Chartres certainly did have it's advantages.

Madame Montpeau was waiting with a large platter of sugar cookies, which
she proceeded to hastily pass out.

"Oh, oh, oh, so many friendly faces!  Bonjour, bonjour!  Enjoy zee cookies, I
do LOVE to make cookies!" she eagerly babbled.

Dimitri noticed how she practically shoved one down his throat.  Maybe they
were poison!

"Don't eat the cookies," he whispered to Nikky, the nearest Leongard around.

"Why not?"

"They're poisoned!"

"Dad!!" Nikky blushed furiously, his fair cheeks filling with a bright
scarlet shade.  "Come on, Dad, they're delicious."

"Delicious and deadly!"

Anya subtly grabbed Dimitri's belt and pulled him beside her on the couch.
She held his hand, then pinched it quickly to remind him of her ultimatum.

"Remember our deal, darling," she hissed while smiling charmingly at their
hosts.

The thought of sleeping on the couch for the rest of his life didn't seem too
appealing.  Why, he had at least another 40 years to go!  Imagine the
backaches!!

"Zo, tell us," Montpeau said as he situated himself across from the
Leongards, "how did you two enchanting and engaging people meet?"

Anya looked at Dimitri.

Dimitri looked at Anya.

Tasha and Nikky looked at each other.

The Montpeaus looked at everyone, not expecting the true story behind the
couple to be as twisting and difficult to explain as it really was.

"Well," Dimitri started unsteadily, "I...I was...why don't you tell them,
dear?"

"No, no, you explain it so much better, darling."

"An-ya!"

"Dim-i-tri!"

"You remember it better than me!"

"Ohhhhh no.  Don't even start that.  Your memory is just as good as mine!"

"Fine," Dimitri panted.  "It's...well...it's a little long..."

"We have zee time, mon chers!" Madame Montpeau said eagerly.  "I love zee
long romance stories!"

Dimitri shifted nervously, the plush leather under him feeling slippier as he
moved.  He'd have to think of a quick way out of this.  There was no idea how they'd react to the story, and even if they'd think less of Tasha for it.

"I...I was in sales," he finally stated.

Nikolas spit a large amount of water out from his mouth, restraining a laugh.  Tasha quickly covered her lips, trying to avoid her brother's mistake, while Anya's eyebrows furrowed as she worked to maintain her sweet smile.

"Sales?  Ooh, and what was zee things you sold, Monsieur?" Montpeau asked.

Dimitri gave them one of his infamous charming smiles, fully in the act now.  Over twenty years out of the business hadn't made him forget how to pull off a good con!

"Tickets, mostly.  I sold trips to places."

"Oh!  So you were like a, what's the word, 'travel agent'?"

Dimitri threw them another killer grin.  "You might say that!"

Madame Montpeau was fully drawn into the story now.  "And what happened next, mon amie??"

"Well," he said with great drama, "I sold Anya a trip to Paris.  She invited me to go along --"

"INVITED, DIMITRI?"

"Ehh...well, maybe I sort of invited myself.  Kind of a requirement."

Anya rolled her eyes, but found herself unable to hide the smile peeking from her lips.  She did love him, his charm and humor being merely a few of the reasons.

"What then?  Maybe you two fell in love as you rode into the lights of Paree?" Montpeau asked.

"Oh yes.  She was head over heels for me," Dimitri agreed.  He winced ever-so-slightly at another of Anya's pinches.

"What he MEANS to say," she interjected, "is that he was head over heels for ME."

"Maybe I was."

"You definitely were."

"Moving on," he said, his eyes teasing her at his reluctance to admit his initial attraction, "before you know it, there's a train wreck, I'm giving up money, she's giving up crowns, we're both smelling roses, and we live happily ever after."  He gave Anya a sweet kiss on her lips.

Madame Montpeau dabbed at her green eyes.  "Zoooo romantic!" She sniffled into her handkerchief, paused, then looked at them once again, questioning across her face.  "What was zee crown part, again?"

"BOY, are these cookies good!" Nikky exclaimed loudly.  "I just LOVE sugar cookies!"

"So where's Max?" Tasha asked quickly, catching on to her brother's plan.  Distracting their attention was the only way to divert their interest in the story.

"He eez working late, no doubt.  He said he was studying --"

"Heart surgery," Max filled in, entering the room.  He leaned down and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek, then sat beside Tasha and gave her one as well.  "I learned about heart surgery today."

Dimitri gripped the edge of the couch.  Stories about the hospital never appealed to him, and Tasha was rarely allowed to relate them when he was around.

"It was fascinating," Max continued.  "First, you make a small incision just left of the heart, to make sure the blood that's going to come out drains quickly, because if it doesn't the  --"

"I think I need to use the restroom!" Dimitri piped in quickly, his face turning an ashy gray already.  "If you could point me in that direction, please!"

"To zee left, on the third hallway," Montpeau said, gesturing to the general area.

Dimitri quickly stood, not wanting to hear anymore about blood, hearts, or surgery, and exited the room.

He used his opportunity alone in the household to study the surroundings.  Tasha was certainly marrying into a wealthy family -- not that he and Anya had been poor, of course.

Still...he'd never seen pure marble bathtubs (and not the cheap kind either, he noted), complete with a gold faucet shaped like an ibis bird and small steps that gave it an exotic appeal.

Maybe he should use this chance to investigate about his future in-laws.  Just as Sherlock Dimitri reached for the bathroom cabinet, he felt a strong grip on his shoulder.

"Dad!"  Nikky pulled Dimitri's arm down.  "You shouldn't do that!"

"I was just, um, looking for some aspirin!"

"Uh huh.  And my name is Winston Churchill.  Come on, Dad!"

Dimitri crossed his arms.  "Why did you come after me, anyway?"

Nikky grinned. "Mom.  She seems to know you better than you think she does!"

His father pouted.  "She always did have a way of reading my mind.  Actually, it's perfect that you're here."  He grabbed Nikky's arm, using it to drag him down the hallway.  "We can do some snooping, I mean, looking around."

"Dad!"

Dimitri pulled his son into the Montpeau's bedroom.  "Let's see how suspicious they are!"

"Dad, I doubt they're suspicious at all.  They're just really nice people, with a very nice son whom my sister loves."

Dimitri made a face.  "They're about as nice as sewer rats!"  He began to dig through their drawers, tossing things left and right.  "I'm sure there's SOMETHING of interest in here..."

Nikky sighed.  "I think you need some of those pills in the bathroom, Dad."

Dimitri ignored him, continuing to 'investigate'.  "Get over here and help me!"

"Dad!"

"Over here!"  He was using his most fatherly tone.

Nikky knew what that meant.

He had to help.

He grudgingly started to sort through the drawers with Dimitri, father and son a picture of -- well, not quite cooperation!

Dimitri pulled out a colossal bra, obviously Madame Montpeau's.

"OH...my!"

Nikolas gasped, pulling out another piece of lingerie wear, this time one of Madame's quite large slips.

"Dad, we really shouldn't be looking through this stuff!"

"You're right," a voice said behind them.

Dimitri and Nikky turned to see Anya, her arms crossed.  They were caught red-handed!

"Have YOU got a LOT of explaining to do!!"

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