Forgotten Love By Gloria

Maria's tears dampened her pillow as she cried herself to sleep that night. The act of putting on a brave front all day always tired her out. Putting a smile on her face every day to cover the pain in her eyes. As she laid there she brushed a small part of her auburn brown hair away from her face while she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes but she thought to herself I have to be strong. A strong mother for Benjy.

In the privacy of her own room in her art studio was her only refuge to let her emotions out and cry. She looked at herself in the bathroom mirror she turned the knob on the sink and felt the cool water running on her hands. She threw the cold water on her face to was away the tears from the night before.

She pulled out her compact and make-up. Pulling out her lipstick she dreaded another day facing a man who doesn't love her, the woman who has replaced her in her life, a nanny she doesn't trust, and a little boy (her own son) she that she doesn't even remember.

She didn't know how she got the courage every day to face the man she love and the woman he left her for. Sometimes the memories of the house was too much for her to handle. The house that Ben had bought for her a house that they had shared so much love in. The house that now belonged to Ben and Meg now holds only memories of a forgotten love.

She was up early which wasn't uncommon when she couldn't sleep. She got dressed and put on her black pumps and walked down the hall to check on Benjy. She opened it just a crack to peek in and check if Benjy was still sleeping. Benjy was still sleeping when she looked in but she found someone else wide awake. She tip toed into Benjy's room and stepped over his red fire truck. She reached down and picked up the precious kitten on the ragged towl that was in an open brown box.

Very quietly she sneaked out of the room as not to wake Benjy up. With Franklin in her arms she made her way down the stairs. The soft fur kept her hands warm. As the cat purred with content. The kitten was so small it had such a small mew. It had been taken from it's mother at such a young age. As she approached the kitchen she picked up Franklin's bowl and poured some milk in it. She gently set him down and placed the bowl in front of him. As Franklin started licking up his milk the phone rang. Maria picked up the phone and said "Hello Evens residence" and heard a familiar voice on the line.

When Maria picked up the phone the voice was Bette's. Bette said "Hey there Bonita, is my boss there Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome? I have a few questions about my gossip column for tomorrow." She loved it when Bette used nicknames it always put a smile on her face. Bette always had a way of cheering her up. While Bette was talking, Ben was walking down the stairs. "He's right here" Maria said as she handed Ben the phone

When he walked to the phone he was fixing the cuffs on his blue long-sleeve shirt. She didn't know how many times in the years that they were married she had seen him walk down those same stairs fixing his cuffs on his shirt. It was something that only a wife would notice after watching her husband for years.

She tried to keep her mind off Ben he didn't love her and she had to try to accept it no matter how painful it was. She grabbed her coat and started heading out the door. She didn't know if she could face Meg this early in the morning. She stopped to write a note to Ben it said :

Dear Ben,

I have an errand to run. Franklin needs more cat food we ran out this morning. Tess is taking care of Benjy. I'll be back soon.,
Sincerely,

Maria

She quickly signed it and headed out the door. The note was partly right she needed to run a few errands but she really needed to get out of the house away from Ben and away from Meg. Besides running an errand she was meeting up with Antonio for breakfast. There was something he wanted to talk to her about and she had a gut feeling she knew what it was about.

Maria looked up and saw Antonio. When she saw him he was clean-shaven and out of his priest uniform. He looked the happiest she has seen him in a long time. He had the biggest smile on his face. He was so upset yesterday morning. He has even lost a little weight since Gabi left and he stopped eating. He seemed so miserable but something must have changed last night. She wondered what could have happened to change his mood so quickly. Antonio came up and said, "I’m sorry I’m late Maria but you wouldn’t believe what happen!" Maria was astounded her brother sounded just like when they were kids. All anxious and exited. When it suddenly came to her only one thing could make Antonio this happy. "Gee Antonio this wouldn’t have anything to do with Gabi does it?" Maria brought it up suddenly.

Maria always had a way of knowing her brother better than he knew himself. Antonio finally answered "Yes Gabi this has something to do with Gabi." "Well sit down and eat. Tell me all about it" Maria said. "I’m to excited to eat. Gabi called me yesterday," Antonio said. "And she wanted to meet me in this cabin in Big Bear. She told something important. She told me that she was pregnant with my baby," Antonio said. "Wow pregnant Antonio that’s some news. What are you guys going to do?" Maria asked with some concern. "Well I’ve decided to leave the priesthood I want to be a father to this baby and I don’t think I would be able to do Gods work while I’m in love with Gabi," he said. "I have only one thing to tell you Antonio it’s that I’m so happy for both of you," Maria said while hugging him. "She must be really late in the pregnancy," Maria said. "Well it will only be a few months until she’s due," he said with the realization that he was actually going to be a father.

"Where are you guys going to live?" she asked. "Well we decided to rent the cabin up in Big Bear it’s close enough to Sunset Beach that we can visit our friends and family but far enough away so that no one will bother us. People are very accepting of us up there," he said. Maria just thought of a wonderful idea "Antonio how do you think Gabi would feel about going shopping with Annie and me tomorrow for baby things?" Antonio thought of it for a second and said "I think she would really like it Maria. Thank you," "Well I think Gabi could use a day out with the girls," Maria said with a smile. She was truly happy for Antonio he has finally found the happiness he deserves. That’s all she ever wanted for her brothers. Something she hasn’t quite found herself. In the midst of all the excitement Maria forgot about someone she asked Antonio "how do you think mama is going to react to you leaving the church and most importantly how is she going to react to Gabi having your baby?" Antonio said " that’s what I’m worried and if you’ll excuse me Maria I’m going to go talk to her right now."

Maria took off her black pumps and was walking on the beach barefooted. The sand was hot but felt good between her toes. It was a sunny day and the cool breeze felt good. It was still early in the morning. She loved the beach. She loved everything about the beach the air smelling like salt water and the warm sunlight shining down on her face. She loved the way the waves crashed against the shore and how the seagulls flew over her head. Even though she had some unhappy memories of the ocean she also had wonderful memories too.

Maria’s mind started to wonder. She was finished running her errands. Talking with Antonio made her feel better. Both her brother’s were happy, Ricardo with Annie and Antonio with Gabi. She wished with all her might that mama would be able to accept Gabi into the family just as she accepted Annie. Maria walked over to the swing set on the beach.

She didn’t know why but whenever she was upset about Ben she would go there. Something always drew her there. When she was there somehow she always felt connected to him. She tried as hard as she could to get it through her head that Ben loves Meg and ONLY Meg. But no matter what she did it couldn’t make the hurt go away. The pain of that fact wouldn’t go away. Maria sat down on the swing and sat her shoes down next to her. As she started swinging she tried to remember how it felt to have Ben’s arms around her. How it felt to have his lips on hers and how her lips had a sweet taste on them after kissing him.

She closed her eyes and swung higher and higher. No matter what though she couldn’t get as high without Ben pushing her. She could remember how Ben would push her on the swings and how she only felt the desire to go higher and touch the sky. She tried hard to remember as the wind blew her hair back. She tried hard to remember how it felt to be loved.

Maria was lost in thought when she reached her home. Or rather Ben and Meg’s home. She slipped on her shoes and was about to hurry in the house. She had taken longer than she expected with her errands. She was about to walk into the house when she heard some yelling or rather two people yelling. It was Ben and Meg. She didn’t mean to be nosey but there was no way into the house without interrupting them so she decided to stay outside of the back door. She could faintly hear Meg. "I can’t stand it any more Ben I can’t stand living in the house with your and Maria’s son! I can’t stand that little boy hating me!" Ben interrupted her "He doesn’t hate you Meg he just needs some time." "Time!" Meg started up again "how much more time does he need he doesn’t like me Ben and he never will!" It’s true that Benjy has had a little trouble getting used to Meg but she didn’t realize how he was affecting Ben and Meg’s relationship.

It sounded serious from what she could hear. "Well Ben I can’t stand that little boy hating me and thinking that I am coming between his mommy and daddy!" Her voice was raising higher and higher. "He doesn’t think that at all Meg! He’ll warm up to you soon enough" Ben said. "He didn’t when I moved back in after his kidnapping! And I can’t take it anymore! I know I’m selfish but I wish that Benjy and infact Maria never had came back to Sunset Beach!" That really hurt Maria once she said that. They were once really good friends at one time but she knew they never could be again. Not since Meg found out who I really am Maria thought to herself. Not since she found out that I was Ben’s wife returned from the "dead." Meg yelled at Ben "I wish that things could be back to normal Ben I want it to be just you and me. No Benjy, no Tess, and defiantly no Maria! But I know it can’t be like that so I’ve decided to do what you stopped me from doing a long time ago. I’m leaving for good this time Ben." "The house?" Ben said. "No Ben YOU!" Meg replied. "This time don’t come after me and I mean it! I’ll send someone for my belonging’s." And suddenly it grew quite then before Ben could protest she heard the door slam after Meg on her way out the front door.

Maria decided it was safe enough to go in since it looked like the conversation was over. She couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. She knew how it felt to be hurt by the person you love. She walked past him and suddenly he spoke "Benjy is with Tess at the park they will be back in an hour." He said it so nonchalantly as if there was nothing was the matter like nothing had happened. But she knew other wise. She knew that Meg had left and she knew that this time she wasn’t coming back. Ben just stared out into nothing not saying a word. She thought about bringing it up and she thought about the consequences but she never liked keeping secrets from him so she said "Ben I heard your argument with Meg. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to I just didn’t want to disturb…" "Really Maria it’s none of your damn business!" Ben interrupted her. Then he calmed down and added, "I’m sorry Maria, just don’t let it happen again." He was hurt I could plainly see that. She has never seen such pain on his face well not since he found her with Derek. When she thought that he was Ben. She said one thing before she went up the stairs "Ben if you need me you know where to find me. I want to be a good friend to you Ben." But she started walking up the stairs, as Ben didn’t say a word. She didn’t quite know how to make him feel better especially since she didn’t know how to make herself feel better.

MORE SOON...