I wrote this one night, about my view of the Sonny and Brenda relationship, an why they deserve to be together. Please, if you are a S&B fan and want to be heard, feel free to use this in your email and letters to the GH writers, all I ask for is credit. If you don't write, that too is fine, just enjoy my thoughts here.
Sonny Corinthos is complex, layered, a man colored by shades of grey. He is not good
and pure, nor black and evil. He is a product of abuse of cruelty and has reacted as
such. He convinced himself he was hard, with a heart of brick. The only person who
saw differently was his counterpart Stone.
Brenda Barrett is a woman of amazing beauty, of emotional wealth and a profound
need to love. She is strong and determined, and irresitably drawn to the darker shades
of life. She made her reputation as a firebrand, a person who lets nothing stand in her
way.
Sonny knew that to survive in his chosen line of work, one had to be uninvolved, to be
distant and unfeeling. He had no room in his heart for remorse for kindness. To be kind
would ensure vulnerability, and vulnerability could kill.
However, he one day met this woman, Brenda, who worked herself into his heart, who
wouldn't let him recede into the blackness of his life. She saw, like Stone saw, a stream
of light shining through his walled soul. And she knew that she was the person who
could tear down the bricks. Sonny also saw that she had the power to transform him,
if he let her. The thought scared him, but she wouldn't relinquish her grasp on his heart,
and he slowly opened up. Out came the terrors of an abusive childhood, the pentup
rage of a child, the edginess of a man. She saw that the cold man seen in the public
eye was not the real man, only a ruse to hold the world at bay.
Neither had ever felt this way about another, and were hesitant to move forward.
Sonny wanted to protect her from his mob life, from the lingering harm it presented. So he
didn't tell her, though subconsciously she knew. Brenda pressed to hear the words
spoken, but Sonny couldn't bring himself to interput the happiness he had found with
the ugliness of his world. He thought he could protect her, protect their love. He
thought that all in all, it was for the best. Brenda, however, belived in complete
openness, and couldn't understand his need to keep his buisness separate. She saw his
shielding of her heart a sign of mistrust, and pressed the envelope. Thinking she was
doing right, she betrayed him, not seeing it as such, only wanting to find the truth out.
He discovered it, and felt the betrayal to the depths of his soul. He felt mistrusted,
thought all the love they shared was a pretense. He felt anger to have his lover not
trusting him. Neither understood that to the other, their actions were a sign of love- he
wanted to protect her, she wanted to have his trust, not realizing that she did have it,
only not the version she knew.
This union broke up, each reeling from the blows on their souls. She took solace with
another man, he with his anger. She fought to regain him, and he had almost
relinquished the battle of his soul when the gods intervened. He was caught by the
police and was given a choice: freedom or prison. Prison, for a claustrophobic man,
meant death. He chose freedom, accepting a Mob don's daughter, Lily, as his bride.
He thought he wanted peace and acceptment, and found it with Lily. But his heart
couldn't forget the woman he loved, still loved. She drifted into his thoughts constantly,
and he could not hide from the memories of love. Brenda at first was hurt by his
marriage of convinence, she didn't understand the reasons and workings behind it. But
soon she realized it was not a match of love, but of buisness, and she accepted it. But
she couldn't accept the knowledge that they couldn't be together. She knew he loved
her still, that she loved him. And she knew that she had to go after her happiness. She
became a constant reminder of what he had lost, a shadow in his heart. She tried to
make him see that forgiveness could pave the way to shared love again. He resisted, he
didn't feel he could trust his heart with her, it still ached from their fight. In a world
where a betrayal was a life-long remembrance, he couldn't release it's grip on his mind.
But slowly, he discovered that it wasn't a conscious thing, that his anger and mistrust
was slowly fading away against his will, that his thoughts were consumed by her, her
love always on his mind. She confronted him, and he confronted his heart. Unable to
deny his love, knowing that it *couldn't* be denied, they made plans. He would leave
his life, his wife, his earthbound possessions and go after happiness with her. The
sacrifices he was prepared to make clearly outline the depth of his love for her, for he
took bonds of marriage and buisness seriously. Yet he was willing to give up the
comforts and safety of a loveless life for one of love and living with his soulmate.
However, once again the gods, unhappy with such profound love, intervened, in the
form of a baby. Sonny couldn't leave his preganant wife now, what kind of man would
that make him? What kind of father to future children with Brenda, if he did leave? His
experiences had taught him not to leave this unborn baby to the childhood he had, a
fatherless one. Brenda was hurt, unbelivably so. At first she couldn't understand, took
solace in yet another man, a release of anguish. She thought that all was lost, that the
new man represented safety and comfort. But she didn't relalize that the thing about
safety is that it is an action of removal, of protection. So she removed and protected
her heart, her true heart, and instead developed a mind block- one that stressed trust
beyond anything and that money and a nice man who was not at all like her former love
was what she needed after the tumultuousness of her pasion with Sonny. On the day
she married him, Sonny's wife died in a car bomb meant for Brenda and Sonny. The
union and dissoultion of the two marriages was a symbolic move that announced that
she had begun a new life, while he was free to begin one too. Their only obstacle was
gone, but she had unknowingly erected a new one. Sonny might have been content
with her moving on, if he thought she would be happy. But in her new husband he
sensed lies and half-truths, and for Brenda's sake he drew them out. He knew in order
for her to be happy, she would have to see that all was not what it seemed in her
perfect life, that the fantasy was fundementally a fraud. Now she is angry, and feels
used by him. She cannot, will not see the feelings behind the action.
Now the positions are reversed. Where she had once fought to be with him, he is now
the one who has decided to fight. He has forgiven her, and the death of his wife
brought new realization into his world- that he had to take his happiness where he
could find it, that to waste a day without her meant to waste a day without love. Now
that Sonny is going after his happiness, will Brenda see herself in his actions? If she
does, she will immediately grasp the hidden motives behind it, the motive of love. She
has convinced herself that Sonny no longer loves her, and he wants to show her that he
does. Neither can come out and speak the words both want to hear, because the
unsureness of it all, the possibility of yet more rejection and hurt. So they will dance
around the issue until a confrontation is unavoidable. Shadows cover the true intentions,
but the real emotion still shines bright. Walls have been rebuilt around the two hearts,
and now it is Sonny's job to tear them down. It may be painful and leave them both
bleeding, but wounds heal with the power, time and the healing strength of love.
"Viva la Sonny- What a difference a smile makes!"
VerityGrrl
Eternal S&B defender and lover
Sister of the Sonnyhood
Doler out of the SONNYshine
S&Believer, Now More than Ever
Keeper of the Perfect Love
SCMB- A Babe Of Many Talents
Keeper of the Special Smile
Sonny's Girl Friday
Sonny's Sparring Partner (wham bam thank you ma'am)
SC Planner (planning the reunion party)
