7 Year Bitch Tour Diary

Part 2:

salut tous:

it's elizabeth with more tour bullshit. This is a different kind of tour for 7YB because of one huge factor: a tour bus. Yup. It's our first tour on a bus and it makes quite a difference. It also may be our last tour on a bus ($$$). But I hope not. So we are definitely making the most of it. We brought badminton, a mini-barbecue, lawn chairs, tennis rackets, a shitload of movies, rollerblades...So far it's been more like vacation than anything, especially compared to our spring tour, which was sheer masochism. We are the first on a four band bill. We only play 35 minutes and then we have many hours to watch the other bands, drink/smoke, hang out with people, see local sights, find something fun to do, etc.

the bill on this tour is weird: Everclear, Spacehog, Tracey Bonham -all ofwhich makes sense-and then us. We had no idea what to expect. We thought it might suck. But after the first night I had a feeling it would be great. Don't believe the stupid media crap putting Tracey in the same category as Alanis Morisette (is she not the Laura Branigan of the 90's?). Bonham straight up rocks. She writes songs that are not the usual thing you hear on MTV. Tracey is really tiny. Even smaller than Selene. It seems like a lot of singers are tiny. I really like her voice. And she is cool. really natural onstage. She gets up there with her violin and guitar and does her thing without posing.

Spacehog, on the otherhand, poses without shame. In a good way. In a funny way. They are pretty much perfect. Even if you don't like their music, its undeniable how majorly talented they all are and what epics their songs are. And how much little girls love them. And how cute their Leeds accents are. And how they have all the necessary ingredients for major rock stardom. I think Tracey and Spacehog will both become really huge. I hope so anyway... Like Bonham and her bandmates, the cats in Spacehog are great to hang out with and are very, very entertaining. Even though we've only been on tour a week, there is an established commradery. This is a crucial aspect with touring. It can make even the most brutal tour a blast. I love watching Spacehog. onstage. They have the girls (s)creaming at their every move. And the music is arena-epic with lots of obvious 70's influences: Bowie, Mott the Hoople. Cheap Trick? But there's a lot of variety in their songs. Makes you want to do a frosty rail and throw your panties on stage. Just kidding. No, I'm not.

Spacehog look so conspicuously rock 24 hours a day. You would pick them out in a crowd immediately as being in a band. They're seriously awe-inspiring musicians, but not seriously serious about being musicians. You know what I mean? We've been having a hard time knowing when they were being tongue in cheek and when they're not. Maybe that mystery is part of their appeal.

Everclear has a different kind of schedule than the rest of us. Instead of staying on their buses, they get hotels. So they aren't around as much. I haven't really hung out with them much, but they are friendly guys for sure.

Right now we're all kinda sore from spending our day off at our friend Lu-lu's summer boys' camp. It's true.

ok now for the other stuff. Elizabeth again, bathing in cathode rays. Everyone is sitting around hypnotized by Twin Peaks. We got a new bus 'cause our old one was spewing fumes inside. It was making us sick. Our new bus is bigger and better and all black. So actually, We're glad about the nauseating fumes. Our new bus is the stealth bus. But it has a name: The Bounty Hunter. It belongs to David Copperfield. So it might not even be real. There's a large skeleton key hanging on one of the walls. Who knows what magik powers are contained within....

So today we occupied ourselves with the task of moving from the quaint but stinking "Moonglow" to the stealthy "Bounty Hunter".

We had to ride on the other bands' buses last night. Selene and "luscious" Leigh Anne (our mega-babe tour manager) and I rode with Spacehog. We smoked inhuman amounts and drank Courvoisier and Tequila and got quite stupid. I fell asleep under a shelf and woke up smaking my head right into it. It was very disorienting, not to mention painful. Have I mentioned how endlessly entertaining those Spacehog are? Today's show (near Detroit) was video taped by the venue and afterwards, S.H. were watching their show on their bus. One part shows a closeup of Jonny dropping a drum stick and recovering on the next beat perfectly. Pretty amazing. They played it a few times in slo-mo with Antony (guitarist) giving play by play commentary. Very funny. Just everyone's luck, this happened to be a show where Antony stripped down to speedos and then exposed his fruit basket to the crowd....right in front of the video camera. Some of you may wish to know that yes, his basket is on the bountiful side. No turgor, however. Speaking of speedos and penises, did you see Dennis Rodman on MTV with Cindy Crawford? He's modeling speedos at half-mast. I saw Rodman in an ad for a psychic hotline. It really bummed me out. I just hope he doesn't put out a rap album.

Last night's show was in Cincinnati. I'm pretty sure we had a good show. Yeah, we did. Selene was pissed off about something so she was extra good onstage. When one of Everclear's enormous inflatable palm trees (the "theme" of the tour is "Summerland") wouldn't stay up, the left side of the stage suddenly filled with crew dudes struggling with ropes and pulleys to resurrect it while the band played on. Billy (main man) and Valerie and I were laughing our asses off. It was definitely the most tap moment of the tour so far.

On the tour are: us (duh), Leigh Anne (tour manager, God bless her), fabulous soundbitch Lisa Faye, and Billy Anderson, who engineered "Gato Negro", is helping us out in many ways. He makes everything funny, no matter what it is. He could make your gramdma dying funny. If he would do such a thing. Anyway, our posse rules. We're lucky.

The shows have gone really good and have all been fun playing except one place. That was in.... oh shit I can't even remember. Roisin just told me. Grand Rapids. It was 'cause the club was like some kind of coke front place. Visions of Enuff Z'nuff.

The best show so far was in Milwaukee. Most of the other bands agree too. We played at a big outdoor fair on a very foul smelling lake. When we first pulled in, Selene got all excited to jump in the water as soon as she could. It was very hot that day. But the lake was full of tiny dead silver-colored fish. It smelled awful. So she went rollerblading around while the rest of us and some Bonhamites went on a bunch o rides. I fuckin' love rides and will go on any one no matter how sketchy it looks. Except the Gravitron. I got barfed upon on one of those at Seattle Center. At the show, the crowd was really into it and all the bands played exceptionally well, I thought. Playing outdoors is the shit. A lot of shows on this tour are outside. At a lot of these shows, people are coming in and finding their seats as we play. And during Spacehog's set, a lot of people are coming in their seats as they play. I'm telling you, if fans of Elvis and the Beatles are any indication of Young Excited Girls' intuition of the Next Big Thing, Spacehog will be huge. Well, like I said, many people are arriving as we perform. It's strange. But it entertains me for some reason. It's better to play in places where there are no seats. I fuckin' can't stand playing to a bunch of people sitting down like some recital or something.

Oh, I forgot to mention our bus driver, John. I can't think of anything to say about him except that he, like all other bus drivers I have ever seen, has a big belly and wears a fanny pouch thing under it. He seems fatherly. I wonder why on earth anyone would want the job he has.

Girls v.s. Boys, scientifically proven best band in America, have been sending us some e-mail re Lollapalooza (not sure if that's spelled right). It sounds quite similar to this tour in some ways, only much bigger of course. I hope a lot of you get to see them on the side stage if you go to it. I've gotten turned on to some bands from seeing them on the side stage: The Pharcyde, The Dirty Three. It's probably way better than the main stage anyhow.

Some of our favorite cd's for the tour so far are: Brainiac, "Hissing Prigs...", The new Soundgarden, the new Beck, Royal Trux, the new Neurosis, Ruby, The Alkaholiks, Morphine, Laughing Hyenas. We have some great movies. "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" is my all-time favorite . I also have a tape of a video montage of William Shatner's interpretation of Elton John's "Rocket Man" from the 1978 Sci-Fi Movie Awards. A lot of people have seen that after a load of partying on the bus. Also, "Orgy of the Dead" which was Ed Wood's last movie. We've got "Nude on the Moon" and a bunch of shit like that. Old Russ Meyer stuff. And random t.v. tapes like David Lee Roth on Letterman, Howard Stern, Bowie and Iggy on Dinah Shore. And the perennials: "Pulp Fiction", "Harold and Maude", "Terminator", "Taxi Driver" etc., ect. My friend Brooke turned me on to Fassbinder and we've got a couple of his films. Depressing, but just so good.

Going to Canada tomorrow. Hope the border doesn't torture us too long.

Bye,
Elizabitch


I hope you are all enjoying your summer so far. Bye.
-Elizabitch

Dear you-guys,
How's it goin? We played in Cleveland yesterday. Cleveland has some beauty to it. Many bridges. Soul Coughing were playing the same night. You should just take my word for it and check out this band live (I've never heard their records but I bet they're great). Our A&R ( ya know, "Artists and Restaurants") man came to this show. His name is Tim. We like him. He is also the A&R man for Hootie and the Blowfish. What a combination of bands to work with., eh? One time Selene got drunk and got on stage with Hootie and sang "Mustang Sally". Can you fucking believe this? It's true. Like many of you, we don't understand why this band is but that's okay. We don't have to. I don't want to.

We did an in-store in a cool little used record store. we scored some stuff. some more Royal Trux, a Can bootleg, Echo and the Bunnymen, a record with the J.S. Blues Explosion with R. L. Burnside, and the Amps. Then we went to the Rock &Roll Museum. We didn't have time to see every thing. It's pretty cool in some ways. You can tell it was put together by baby boomers. It seemed to focus on the 60's. But then again, that's when Rock and Roll was at its hugest. That's when it affected such a large part of the population. I liked the section on censorship. I learned something new: The "first" rock and roll "concert" was in Cleveland. I can't remember the date. Screamin' Jay Hawkins headlined. I noticed some glaring ommisions: there was NO VAN HALEN. And hardly any Aerosmith or Kiss. Maybe I just missed it somehow. But it just is incredible that those 3 bands got passed over. I mean, there's an entire section of grungey NorthWest rock. It's kind of weird to see something is such recent history distilled so definitively. Our soundbitch (Lisa Fay) lamented the lack of Joan Jett. Well, maybe there still in the process of getting it together. Music is so personal and Rock is so based on fanatacism that it'd be quite a task putting together a Rock and Roll Museum that everyone liked equally. There's no goth stuff, either.

We split Cleveland and crashed out on the bus for the drive to the border. What a lame way to wake up. Having to sit on the floor in the freezing Canadian immigration room. Thank the gods, the employees there were life-like. They didn't even go on the bus I don't think. Coulda been a complete drag... So we fell back asleep after that and woke up in the afternoon in the middle of thousands of tents and shirtless hackeysackers. We knew the Canadian gig was gonna be some big thing-a-ma-do but didn't expect it to be little Woodstock (80,000 people, I believe). Valerie was miserable and wanted to get out right away. Now, I kind of dig stuff like this. But a little chemistry helps a lot in these situations. This music festival we played at, just outside Toronto, is a 3 day outdoor thang called "Edenfest" or maybe simply "Eden". Not sure. It was very disorganized. We were listed as playing on the main stage accidentally. We played the side stage. Our set was cut short by 3 songs. That sucked 'cause we were having a smokin' set. In spite of Valerie's bad attitude at the beginning, we had a great time on stage. The crowd was way into it. Today definitely replaces Milwaukee for funnest show. I wish we'd played on the mondo-stage with the mondo-system. Selene and I were kind bumming on that. But Valerie was glad to play the smaller stage. A ton of bands played: Porno for Pyros, Love and Rockets, Live, The Buzzcocks, and more. The Cure headlined last night. I would've like to have seen them. After we played we did some press, rode around on little golf carts with Spacehog, watched bands, generally hung out, etc. Checked out Porno for Pyros from the side of the stage. I miss Jane's Addiction. Perry was looking very sexy and suave. Their songs seem like really long intros to me. I just keep waiting for them to bust out into some stomping groove. When they do, it's too short. So I got kinda got frustrated. We're on our way now to Niagra Falls. That's where we're spending our day off. Romantic, aren't we?

bye for now,
elizabitch

what's up ya'll. E. again. well, Niagra Falls is unreal and if there weren't so many godamn people there it would be a cool place to hang out. but i shouldn't complain 'cause i was also contributing to the fact that there were too many people there. Rosin's boyfriend, Mike, was with us for this leg. So they had a wonderful little nauseating romantic time at Niagra, doing the tour dressed in identical raingear and learning about the geological and cultural history of the falls. I looked at it for about 5 minutes and then went to the bar with Lisa fay and Leigh Anne. Leigh Anne introduced me to a new drink: kahlua, vodka, milk and coke. I can't remember what it's called. a rocky-mountain something or other. It's good. Going back into the states was a royal pain in the ass. The U.S. customs were total dicks to us, especially Billy. But we made it through and had a nice little shopping spree at the duty-free. this particular duty-free shop sold pretty much two kinds of things: booze and chi-chi beauty products. The ultimate store!!!! we all came away with many bottles. bottles of wine. bottles of vodka. bottles of Canadian whiskey. bottles of perfume. killer. no tax.

after canada was pittsburgh. i have absolutely no recollection of Pittsburgh. i hope everything went ok.

our nation's capitol was the next show. I remember that. the venue parking lot actually had a view of the white house. or maybe it was the capitol building. We did some "in-stores" in D.C. They were dumb. we usually really dislike going to the in-stores. Sometimes something wierd happens and it is actually ends up being a worthwhile experience. But this was not one of those. Except we got taken out to lunch. Doing in-stores is bad for my money management. I spend so much at each one. Here's what we do at in-stores: we come in to the store with the local atlantic rep and meet the people who work there. Most of these people don't know who we are and don't care either. We don't hold this against them at all. We suspect they think it's as dumb as we do. But sometimes the employees dig us and want to say hey or whatever. This is good 'cause it makes us feel like there's a reason to check it out and 'cause they are most likely to give us free shit or give us a deal on records and books. One of our favorite buddies, Miss Dana Wachs (formerly the basser of the Holy Rollers and now a budding soundlady) came to the show. It's always nice when longlost friends show up at a gig. We had a particularly energetic show and the crowd had a lot to do with that. They were great. I made Dana come up and watch Spacehog from the side of the stage so she could see Roisten show his stuff on bass. He's gotta be one of the best bassers I've ever had the pleasure to watch play. Right up there with Flea. And as I've said before, they are just so sexy up there with their hair and clothes and attitude and guitars. Except Jonny. He plays drums and is the cutest ever. But when it comes to Spacehog, no one can pick just one. you know what they do? They smile at people while they play. I consider myself a very nice person, but even I can't really do that. Richard is the tall dark and handsome one with a sweet quiet vibe. Reminds me a little of a young Bryan Ferry. Antony looks like he stepped off the pages of Teen Beat in 1978 and is too comical to keep a straight face around. He is a total perv, too. But it's not offensive 'cause he's such a fox. pretty hypocritical of me, I know, but I'm just being honest here. Jonny is affectionate and looks like one of the lads in the Bay City Rollers. Roisten is the shyest I think. He looks amazingly like James Dean and appears to have been born to front a rock and roll band. They all are very skinny and are very sharp dressers and have been endowed with extra personality and charisma. They are the band most likely to become a Saturday morning cartoon. I can see it now. The Adventures of Spacehog. I will now shut the fuck up about Spacehog.


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