Zachary was my 3rd child. He has a brother Garrett age 11 and a sister
Amy age 9. Christmas 1997, Garrett asked for a new baby brother. We had
always said we were not going to have anymore children. The more Garrett
asked for it, the better it sounded. So, we decided to try again but only
for a few months since I was to turn 35 soon.
I was pregnant in 2 months. We were so thrilled. Garrett was excited. Through morning sickness and being totally exhausted with working full time, I loved being pregnant. I had my first doctor visit at 6 weeks. The doctor told me not to expect to hear the heartbeat but we did. It was loud and fast. I then got another surprise and felt the baby move very early on. He was very active. My husband and kids went to hear the heartbeat with me on my second doctor visit. It all of a sudden became very real to my kids. Garrett had a baseball game on a Wednesday evening, and I felt a lot of movement. What I didn't know is that it would be the last I would ever feel. My first sonogram was scheduled for Friday, June 5th at 1pm. I stopped and bought a tape to film it and took the kids to lunch. My husband had a lunch meeting and barely made it before they started the sonogram. It seemed to take longer than usual, and she wasn't really showing us anything. She asked if I was sure I was 19 weeks because my measurements showed 16. I began to worry. She left the room and came back with another woman. They looked at a couple things, and the other woman said to look at my kidneys and gallbladder and I was done. Done?? I knew then that something was terribly wrong. I started to cry where Garrett & Amy couldn't see me. My questions to the X-ray tech went unanswered. They took the kids out and told us our baby was dead. How could this happen? I'd heard the heartbeat 2 weeks earlier and felt him move 2 days earlier. After seeing my doctor, it was decided he would induce labor on Monday, June 8th if I didn't do anything on my own before then. Monday, June 8th, we arrived at the hospital early. I was pretty much in shock. My aunt was with us. I had a sweet nurse named Teresa. She talked to us and explained what was to happen. She also told us we would get to see and hold the baby when it was born. I fell apart at that point. I didn't expect it. My husband shook his head and wasn't sure if he could do it. I was the mother and had to hold my baby. I delivered at 5pm. I had been very ill through the entire labor but the epidural made me aware only of very little. As soon as I delivered, the doctor showed us how the cord had been twisted in several spots. That was Zachary's fate. I did hold Zachary for a long time knowing I would have to give him up to never see him again. My husband even held him. He was 6 inches long and weighed 5 oz. This little boy looked just like his big brother who had longed so much for him. I will always have Zachary Shane in my heart and will remember the moments of kicks and tossing & turning I felt from him. I love you Zachary and miss you!! Your Dad, Garrett & Amy love & miss you too!! |
Right before Christmas, my Mom's work does this Christmas party for the kids. When I sat on Santa's lap, I asked for a baby brother, and that's when it started. After a month and a half or begging, my Mom & Dad finally said okay and started trying to get pregnant. After 2 months of trying, she got pregnant, and I was the happiest boy that ever lived!! After a while, we got to hear the heartbeat, and it was fast. I was so happy hearing the baby's heartbeat. After a while, we went for the sonogram, and I was very happy to go, until they told Amy and I to go out of the room so they could talk to my Mom and Dad. Right then, I knew something had happened to Zack. When they called Amy and I back to the room, my Mom looked very sad. When we got into the van, my Mom told us the baby was dead. Now I was the saddest boy in the world, and I felt like I was going to break into pieces. We lost Zach. I will always love and miss Zack!! A PICTURE DRAWN FOR ZACHARY BY HIS SISTER AMY
SPECIAL THANKS I would like to thank my doctor "Dr. James Welsh" of Midland who delivered Amy 9 years ago and Zachary 3 months ago. He is a very compassionate person as well as a super doctor. A special thanks to Teresa Merritt also of Midland who was one of my labor/delivery nurses as well as my counselor. She has helped me with so much. Also, to Holly, another labor/delivery nurse who prepared a box of momentos of Zachary for me. I would like to also thank all the wonderful people of Memorial & Medical Center Hospital of Midland, Texas. It is a very good hospital with a lot of caring people. Thank you Liz, the one who did my sonogram. I am so sorry if I was rude. A very special thanks to Southwest Royalties, Inc. of Midland for all the food, cards, phone calls, and for just being there for me. Thanks to S.M.C. Oil & Gas for the flowers and cards. I want to especially thank my Aunt Estelle who was there with George & I for Zachary's birth as well as my Mom and Mary (sister) for being there. Thanks to Jo Ann who has helped me so much in my healing. I'm not sure how I could have made it without you. And for all the friends & family who sent cards & flowers, brought food, and babysat, Thank you!!
Gods little Angel Sometimes there are miracles we never understand
You feel blinded, our child lost, will I never see
Gods vision of my Sis, knowing the Love in her heart
Little Angels in Heaven, on their clouds they will play
One bit of information before Amen I say
Close your eyes to hear, your boys first words, I love you mom
WRITTEN BY ZACH'S UNCLE JOE My Dearest Zachary Shane, To my dear little angel in Heaven. I miss you so very much and will always remember feeling you move and hearing your little heartbeat. I had many special plans for you. As babies of friends and family come into this world, I can't help but think of you. I think about how old you would be, what you would look like, what you would be like... Would you be quiet & sweet like your big brother and active & sweet like your big sister? I have added your web page link on many different pages. You have had people from all over the world sign your guestbook. It's amazing how many people all across the world know my little angel. I'm sure you have many friends to play with, friends of very nice people I have come in contact with. With the help of all those dear people, I have survived and will continue to survive. I can't help but long for the moment that I get to hold you in my arms in Heaven!! I'm sure you've met many family members that are taking very good care of you. Most of all, you are one of Jesus' little angels!! Take care my little baby. Mommy will take good care of your brother and sister. One day, we will all be together in Heaven. Until we meet, I love you more than I can ever say!! Love, Mommy
PICTURES
Memory Plaque on Light
The Kids |
For You I Will by Monica Yes, when you're feeling lost in the night
I will cross the ocean for you
I will shield your heart from the rain
I'm here for you,
I will cross the ocean for you
Lay my life on the line,
I will cross the ocean for you
I will cross the ocean for you
Promise you For you I will, yes yeah, yeah ``````````````````````````````````````
Zachary's Memorial |