The fourth week of June was nerve racking!! Mark had already missed so much work worrying he would miss Sutton's birth and I was so uncomfortable!! I was hoping Sutton would put in an appearance on Sunday, June 27th since that was my Dee's birthday!! I was sure I would get my wish, when I started having contractions around 10am that morning!! They weren't really painful, just had enough bite to let me know they were there!! Since I was already dialated to nearly 4 centimeters (or so I thought) and 60% effaced I was sure I would be holding a baby before midnight!! I was able to nap most of the morning and afternoon, but my contractions began to get harder late that afternoon but no closer than 10 minutes a part!! Mark was ready to take me to the hospital right then but I refused to go, knowing they would just send me home!! I tried to get as comfortable as I could on the couch and watch TV!! When a contraction would begin I would just close my eyes and breathe right through it, picturing my cervix opening for my baby!! Mark's nerves were on end and when I would moan every now and then *L* he would jump up and say: "let's go!! " Around 1am he got up to get a blanket and I felt a gush!! I yelled for a towel and he came running ready to rush out!! I got up and headed for the shower while he freaked!! *L* The contractions didn't get any worse or closer but I did go ahead to the hospital!! Wouldn't you know my contractions would stop completely when we drove into the parking lot!! I wanted to go back home but I knew Mark wouldn't hear of it so we went in with my suitcase and the video camera!! They put me right in the LBR and the OB nurse confirmed my water had broken!! She also told me I was 2 to 3 centimeters dialated and still only 60% effaced!! I was given one of those lovely hospital gowns, had an IV put in (ouch!!) and hooked up to the monitors!! They monitored Sutton's heart beat for about a half hour and then turned it off and told me to rest for a big day!! Dr. Allen came in a little after 6am and caught me eating a poptart and drinking coffee *L* He checked me and said I was still 2 to 3 centimetrs dialated but I was 100% effaced!! He didn't say anything about catching me eating but he did say that they were gonna start a pitocin drip to get my contractions going since they hadn't started back on their own and my water had been broken for about 5 hours!! I can tell you I was not happy!! I gave Mark a dirty look because I felt if I had just stayed home my labor might have gone on without help!! They had used pitocin with my last and it makes your contractions 10 times harder!! I had hoped to have natural child birth this time, but I was unsure I would be able to keep control with pitocin forcing my body to labor!! They started the pitocin drip at 6:50am and the contractions started a little after 7am!! They already had a good bite to them and were every six minutes!! It seemed like they started coming every 30 seconds in the next 20 minutes and I guess around 8:15am I started to think I wouldn't be able to keep up my breathing much longer and the doctor checked me and said: "you are 4 centimeters dialated and 100% effaced!!" Talk about being disappointed!! I just knew it would be 5 or 6 more hours til I delivered and there was no way I could do it without something for the pain!! We talked about a shot of staydol or getting an epidural!! Well I had staydol the last time and except for being out cold between contractions and leaving me so out of it after delivery it had been no help!! We decided to go for the epidural!! By now it is a little after 8:30am and I am loosing control!! Mark holds both my hands and places his forehead to mine and begins describing the cruise we're gonna take!! To my surprise I can actually see the moon reflecting on the water and the dolphins jumping playfully!! He tells me to smell the salt air and I am just getting over a contraction *L* and I can smell the scent of the orange slices he was eating, so I giggle and say: "I can't smell the salt air but I do smell the oranges on the buffet!!" He hugs me and tells me how proud he is and how good I am doing!! Another contraction is building as he tells me we are partners!! I moan and say: "so when do you take your share of the pain!!" I am loosing control, fighting the pain, instead of allowing it!! Mark takes my face in both of his hands and demands I focus!! Once again he gets me through!! I beg him to help!! He goes to get the nurse to ask for a shot of staydol til the epi is in place!! He nearly runs into her and the anestheseologist at the door!! The nurse checks me and I am now 7 centimeters!! The anestheseologist is trying to tell me what she will be doing but I can't concentrate for the pain!! My doctor, Dr. Wolen, (they changed shifts around 7 or 7:30 that morning) comes in and they tell me a shot is out because it will drug the baby and my doctor feels the epi will be useless because she feels I will deliver in the next 10 or 15 minutes!! I am ready to scream because as far as I am concerned I can't take another 15 minutes of this pain!! No matter because at that very minute another contraction hits and I feel Sutton's head slip down and yell he's coming!! My doctor checks me again and says: "the head is here!!" The room is in chaos now as they grab the cart with the sterile drapes and stuff and the doctor is yanking her gown on!! Mark!! What a guy!! He's panting with me...giving me his love, strength and support!! The funny thing is the pain is replaced by this pressure (like I need to potty big time *L*) that is so welcome!! I can feel Sutton coming with no help from me!! The doctor commands me in a stern but calm voice to stop pushing...well I'm not pushing but I pant for all I'm worth and I can feel her lifting the baby's head up and around and it is not a good feeling!! I yelp out: "What is she doing!?!" The nurse pats my hand and says: "the cord is around your baby's neck but it's ok!!" Funny!! I guess my doctors demeanor and the nurses calm response was reasuring because I never panicked!! Before I knew it my doctor was saying: "OK give me some shoulders!!" No problem...all I had to do was relax and quit panting and she got his whole body *L* She gave him to the neonatal nurses who rubbed and suctioned and weighed him!! It felt like hours passed before they handed him to me!! I was almost in tears begging to see my baby, to hold and comfort him!! Mark was by my side assuring me he was fine and I would hold him soon!! They finally offered to let Mark hold him, but bless his great big heart!! As much as he wanted to, he knew I needed to hold him first!! When they placed my little miracle in my arms he was a scary shade of blue but he was breathing and moving!! I put him to my breast and he latched on like he was starving!! And so at 9:08am, Monday, June 28th my precious son was born!!

They let me keep him with me until they were ready to move me to my room!! By then his color was a nice pink!! I felt great!! I read if a woman can do it naturally she experiences a feeling of euphoria and I did!! I owe my doctor so much!! She, as far as I am concerned, saved my baby's life!! She didn't panick or allow me to!! Through out most of my pregnancy I had a bad feeling!! I just felt something was wrong and I was right!! I prayed daily that God would see him safely into my arms and that He would send His tiny angels to surround little Sutton in my womb to protect him!! God heard my prayers and gave me a wonderful doctor to carry them out!! Dr. Wolen...thank you is so little to say for what you did that day!! I will always be greatful to you!! And to my wonderful husband, Mark!! Sweetheart, I know if you hadn't been by my side I wouldn't have been able to get through it!! You helped me to achieve a drug free birth!! You also gave me tremendous strength, even when you were so afraid!! You hid your fear so well!! I guess you knew if I could see your fear when you saw the cord around our son's neck I would panick!! Thank you for being you and loving me!!

Even though I wanted so much to have a drug free delivery and give my baby the best possible start in life, I can't honestly say if there had been time I would have done the same!! Normal labor is hard enough, but when pitocin is added to the equation it gets pretty rough!! Each individual should feel ok to choose to go it naturally or have help!! While I agree doctors and nurses make us second guess our abilities to do it drug free at times, we each know our limits!! After all...the main goal is to deliver a healthy baby and be able to enjoy them!!