I'm Fine, Thank you

TODAY is the FIRST day of the TEST of your LIFE!

I'm Fine, Thank You!

There is nothing the matter with me
I,m as healthy as I can be
I have arthritis in both knees
and when I talk, I talk with a wheeze
My pulse is weak and my blood is thin
but I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
Arch supports I have for my feet
or I wouldn't be able to be on the streets
Sleep is denied me night after night
but every morning I find I'm alright
My memory is failing, my heads in a spin
but I'm awfully well for the shape I'm in.
The moral is this, as my tale unfolds
that for you and me who are growing old
Its better to say "I'm fine" with a grin
than to let folks know the shape we are in.
How do I know that my youth is all spent
well, my "getup and go" has got up and went
But I really don't mind when I think with a grin
of all the grand places my "getup" has been.
Old age is golden I've heard it said
but sometimes I wonder as I get into bed
With my ears in the drawer, my teeth in a cup
my eyes on the table until I wake up
Ere sleep overtakes me I say to myself
Is there anything else I could lay on the shelf.
I getup each morning and dust off my wits
and pick up the paper and read the "Obits"
If my name is not there, I know I'm not dead
So I have a good breakfast and go back to bed!

**********************************************

Look Ahead!!

"hmm...I wonder"

Remember,
Old folks are worth a fortune-with silver in their hair,
gold in their teeth, stones in their kidneys, lead in their feet,
and gas in their stomachs.
I have become a little older since I saw you last,
and a few changes have come into my life since then.
I am seeing five gentlemen every day.
As soon as I wake up, Will Power helps me out of bed.
Then I go see John.
Then Charley Horse comes along,
and when he is here he takes a lot of my time and attention.
When he leaves, Art Ritis shows up and stays the rest of the day.
He doesn't like to stay in one place very long,
so he takes me from "Joint to Joint".
After such a busy day I'm really tired,
and glad to go to bed with Ben Gay...
"WHAT A LIFE!!"
Oh, I almost forgot!

P. S...The Preacher came to call the other day.
He said at my age I should be thinking about the "hereafter"
I told him,"OH, I do, all the time!
No matter where I am-in the parlor, upstairs, in the kitchen,
or down in the basement-I ask myself,
"What am I here after"

How To Know You Are Growing Older

Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like the night before and you haven't been anywhere.
Your little black book contains only names ending in M. D.
You get winded playing cards.
You join a health club and don't go.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks you questions.
You look forward to a dull evening.
You need glasses to find your glasses.
You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
Your knees buckle but your belt won't.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You Have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet
You sink your teeth in a steak, and they stay there.

YOU WONDER WHY MORE PEOPLE DON'T USE THIS SIZE PRINT.

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