Signs You've Been In Band Too Long

Courtesy of Tom Ervin, Professor of Music, University of Arizona

1. When you hear music and you start marking time.

2. When you walk behind someone and you're in step with them.

3. When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.

4. When all your friends are in the band.

5. When you don't mind changing clothes on the bus.

6. When you point out key changes and dynamics while listening to the radio.

7. When every guy/girl you're interested in is in the band.

8. When you like wearing your uniform.

9. When people ask you about your social life and you say, "Oh, you mean my flute / trumpet / drum / etc.?"

10. When you consider your drill book a fashion accessory.

11. When you've had a "trombone-ectomy"

12. When you practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog.

13. When being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.

14. When people worry when they see you without your instrument.

15. When "armed guard," means a girl with a pole instead of a guy with a gun.

16. When band camp is FUN

17. When you respond to "band fag"

18. When someone says the word "box" and you automatically put your head up.

19. When you remember flats and sharps more easily than your name.

20. When you dress the lunch line, and urge others to do the same.

21. When you're alone and you suffocate because there's no one telling you to breathe.

22. When slides feel normal.

23. When your instrument has a name.

24. When you remember your instrument's birthday and forget your mom's.

25. When making a line is you biggest accomplishment of the day.

26. When back marching no longer reminds you of ballet.

27. When you give your instrument a birthday party.

28. When you can make brown shoes look white.

29. When your uniform fits.

30. When black feathers become a fashion "do".

31. When you see your section more than you see your family.

32. When everyone wants to kill the other football team...and you want to kill the other band.

33. When you have dreams about selling Woody's Wings.

34. When you think evening practices should last a half-hour longer.

35. When you accidentally call your band director "Dad".

36. When you CAN sight-read.

37. When you can put on your uniform in less than 10 minutes.

38. When reeds taste good.

39. When Woody's Wings are part of your daily diet.

40. When you think your plume is alive.

41. When marking time is your favorite form of exercise.

42. When you have a neck strap/harness tan line.

43. When you subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.

44. When numbers past 8 aren't important.

45. When you're more opinionated about the Madison Scouts/Phantom Regiment rivalry than the O.J. trial.

46. When you roll-step through the cafeteria so you don't spill your lunch.

47. When you'd rather practice than read this list.

48. When letters past G aren't important.

49. When you get the jokes on this list.

50. When this list reaches 50.

Last Updated January 18, 1998 by Robyn L. Jenkins

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