Pretty Ugly




YEAH!!

YEAH!!
IF YA WANNA WATCH A MOVIE, AND EAT SOME POPCORN
I'LL SAY YEAH!!
IF YA WANNA GO FOR A RIDE
I LOVE TO GO REAL FAST, OH
I LIKE IT SOUR
I LIKE IT SWEET
I LIKE IT HOT
I LIKE IT COLD
I LIKE IT NEW
I LIKE IT OLD
I LIKE IT INSIDE
I LIKE IT IN THE STREET
AND IF YOU JUST WANNA HANG OUT,
AND IF YOU WANNA DANCE INSIDE
AND IF YOU WANNA DO SOMETHING
OR IF YOU WANNA DO NOTHING
AND IF YOU WANNA BE HAPPY
AND IF YOU WANNA JUST SAY YEAH.
IF YOU WANNA EAT SOME CANDY
WELL I GOT PLENTY RIGHT HERE, YEAH!!


THROWIN' IT AWAY

WITH ALL YOU GOT YOUR THROWIN' IT AWAY
EVEN IF YOU HAVE IT ALL, SOMEONE ELSE HAS MORE
EVEN IF YOU HAVE A CAR, CRASH IT INTO A WALL
EVEN IF YOU GOT A RAINBOW, THROW AWAY THE POT OF GOLD
EVEN IF YOUR EYES ARE OPEN, YOUR JUST CAN'T SEE THE LIGHT
WITH ALL YOU GOT YOUR THROWIN' IT AWAY
EVEN IF YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANT, YOU'LL SAY YOU WANTED MORE
EVEN IF YOU SLEEP ON DIAMOND ROLL OVER ON THE COAL
EVEN IF YOU SMELL THE ROSES, YOU JUST TAKE HOME THE THRONES
EVEN IF YOUR SKIES ARE CLEAR, YOU JUST BRING IN THE CLOUDS
CAN'T HOLD ON FOR ONE MORE DAY
WITH ALL YOU GOT, YOU'RE THROWIN' IT AWAY
EVEN IF PEOPLE THINK YOUR GOD, YOUR NAILED TO A CROSS
EVEN IF YOUR BIKE IS FOUND, COMPLAIN THAT YOU ARE LOST
EVEN IF I LOVE YOU MORE, TURN IT INTO DISDAIN
EVEN IF THE SUN IS SHINING, IT'S POURING ACID RAIN
CAN'T HOLD ON FOR ONE MORE DAY
WITH ALL YOU GOT YOUR THROWIN' IT AWAY!


THE DAY SQUID'S GERBIL DIED

THE DAY SQIUD'S GERBIL DIED, HE WAS D.O.A
DON'T DO IT! NO!
DOGGY'S NOT SUPPOSE TO CHASE HIM AROUND AT ALL
SQUID PUT THE DOG GATE UP SO HE COULDN'T GET TO THE THIRD FLOOR
BUT DOGGY PUSHED IT DOWN
AND CHASED THE GERBILL ALL AROUND
CHASED HIM IN CIRCLES FROM NOON UNTIL FOUR
DON'T DO IT! NO!
SHE HAD TO TAKE CARE OF HIM DURING SPRING VACATION
CAME IN FROM PLAYING ONE DAY HE WAS DEAD ON LOCATION
A GERBIL STIFF AS A BOARD
STARING BLANKLY AT THE WORLD
NOW HE WON'T PLAY ON HIS WHEEL ANYMORE
LICKING, SNIFFING, PAWING, SNORTING, PISSING, SHITTING, JUMPING, DROOLING, GROWLING, CHASING, STARING, DIGGING
NO MEANS NO MEANS NO!
THE DAY SQUIDS GEBIL DIED, HE WAS D.O.A.
THE DAY SQUIDS GEBIL DIED, OH MY GOD HOW SHE CRIED
DON'T DO IT! NO!
A LITTLE LATER ON IN LIFE, CAME A GEBIL COUPLE
THEY GOT TOGETHER HAD SOME BABIES THEN CAME TROUBLE
DADDY GEBIL BIT THEIR HEADS OFF
SQUID CAME TO LATE TO PULL HIM OFF
MORE GERBIL FUNERALS, WITHOUT HEADS THEY WILL ROT
NO! NO! NO!
YOUR A BAD, BAD DOG
AND I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO IT
AND I TOLD YOU NOT TO GO
NOW YOUR CHOKING ON A BONE!


DEAR DOTTIE

DEAR DOTTIE, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
I WROTE THIS LETTER TO YOU
I KNOW YOU'LL TELL ME THE TRUTH
IN THE WEEKLY WORLD NEWS
MY TOUNGE IS HAIR MY LIPS ARE BLUE
OH DEAR DOTTIE WHAT WILL I DO
SHAVED MY TOUNGE BUT MY BACK IS HAIRY TOO
SIGNED HAIRY AND BLUE
HONEY YOUR FUNNY, WITH A HAIRY TOUNGE
I CAN'T IMAGINE WHO WOULD WANT SOME
STOP SHAVING AND GET A WAX
NO ONE LIKES A HAIRY TRAP, OH HAIRY TRAP
I MARRIED MY DAD MY MOM'S MY AUNT
GOING TO A ASHRAM SO I CAN CHANT
DOTTIE I JUST GOTTA KNOW
SHOULD I STAY WITH DADDY OR SHOULD I GO?
SIGNED I DON'T KNOW
DON'T KNOW, YOU'RE CRACK, MARRIED YOUR POP?
YOU'VE JUST ADMITTED YOUR LIFE IS A FLOP
GO TO ASHRAM CHANT UP A STORM
YOU'RE TO BIG AND IDIOT TO EVER, EVER BE REFOREMED


MR. LADY

MY BROWN EYE'S BLUE
FROM SO MUCH LOVIN'
I'M GETTING ANOTHER LOVIN' OVEN
ONE THAT MAKES ME FEEL MORE LIKE, THE WOMAN TRAPED SO LONG INSIDE
MY BODY HAIR HAS BEEN REMOVED
BUT I SURE HAVE SOME MUSCLEY THEIGHS
THE HORMONES SOFTEN UP MY VOICE
GOIN' ALL THE WAY, I'VE MADE THE CHOICE
KICK OFF MY BOOTS, SLIP ON SOME HEELS
NOW I'M TRUELY ME
POWDER MY NOSE, PULL ON SOME HOSE
I'M FEELING FREE
MY LIPSTICK'S ON, BROWS PENCILED ON
I AM SO PRETTY AND EVEN THOUGH I'LL NEVER BLEED
THAT'S OK WITH ME
I'M MORE THAN A WOMEN, I'M MORE THAN MAN
I FEEL LARGER THAN LIFE, YOU MUST UNDERSTAND
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE BOY, MALIBU BARBIE WAS MY FAVORITE TOY
NOW THERE IS JUST NO MISTAKING, I'M A WOMEN, JUST AWAKING
I FEEL ALIVE, A NEW REBIRTH
IT COSTS ALOT BUT I THINK IT'S WORTH IT!
TOOK MANY YEARS TO HAVE THIS DONE
NOW ONCE A DAY I TOUCH MY BREASTS PUT ON A BRA
DAYTIME LINGERIE
WALK DOWN THE STREET IN SUMMERS HEAT
STRUTING TO AND FROM, I'M IN A DRESS, NO NEED TO TUCK
I'M FINALLY FREE
I STRUT MY STUFF ALL DOWN THE STREET, NOW I'M TRUELY ME
I WHISTLE AS THE BOYS GO BY, I'M FEELING FREE
I CHECK MY FACE AND GRIP MY MACE
BUT THEY WON'T DARE HURT ME
I'M FEELING RIGHT, GOING OUT TONIGHTAND THAT'S OKAY WITH ME
MR. LADY


SPORK

WELL, I GOT A SPORK AND I'M IN MY SKORTS
I'M HAVIN' A SPRITZER AND I CAN SEE THE MOON
MY GAUCHOS FEEL GOOD
I'M HAVING SOME BRUNCH
BUT THIS QUESTION KEEPS COMEING UP!!
IS IT A FORK OS IS IT A SPOON? SPORK!
I GOT SNEAKERS WITH HEELS AND HIGH HEELS WITH WHEELS
GOT A CAT THAT'S A DOG AND A FISH THAT'S A FROG
I LOOK UP AT THE SUN AS I CHEW SOME GUM
BUT THIS QUESTION KEEPS PLAGUIN' US!
IS IT A FORK OR IS IT A SPOON? SPORK!
I HEAR THAT LUNCH BELL RINGING!!


WHAT'S LEFT

SHE TOOK CARE OF HIM AND ALL THE CHILDREN, SHE ALWAYS FEED HIM
THE CHILDREN AND THE GRANDCHILDREN
SHE CAME LAST AND HE CAME FIRST
SHE WAS STRONG AND HE FEEL WEAK
HE WAS HOOKED UP TO A LIFE-PROLONGING MACHINE
AND HE PROMISED TO WEAR A TUTU AND SOME TOE SHOES
NOW I PICTURE HIM, STRONG AND DANCING
AND SHE SLOWLY LOSES HEARING
BUT ALL SHE HAS IS FAMILY
AND ALL THAT MATTERS IS HER FAMILY TREE
WHAT'S LEFT?
WHEN YOU DONE IT ALL
WHAT'S LEFT?
WHEN YOU SEEN IT ALL
ALWAYS WATCHED THE WOMEN BE STRONG, TAKE CARE OF EVERYONE
AND NOW HE'S DANCING
NOW HE'S GONE WITH THE CATS AND DOGS AND TURTLES
AND THE GERBILS BURIED IN THE BACKYARD
HE TOOK THE TREES FROM HER
SHE WATCHES T.V., DRINKS HER SCOTCH AND HAS ICE CREAM FOR DINNER
AND NOW HE'S DANCING
WHAT'S LEFT?
AND NOW HE'S DANCING
WHAT'S LEFT?


GONE KISSIN'

MY FIRST KISS WAS--UNDERWATER
I LIKED TO HAVE IT--UNDERWATER
FOUR YEARS OLD AND--UNDERWATER
I WAITED FOR IT--UNDERWATER
I THINK ABOUT IT WHEN I'M ALONE
I WANNA GO KISSIN' WHEN I'M AT HOME
WHY DON'T YOU JUST KISS ME!
IT'S JUST A KISS, IT'S JUST A KISS
GAVE UP KISSIN'--OUT OF WATER
GAVE TO PUNCHIN'--OUT OF WATER
BLOODY KNUCKLES--OUT OF WATER
GOIN' KISSIN'--OUT OF WATER
KISSES TURNED TO PUNCHES INSTEAD
THEY THREW FOOTBALLS AT MY HEAD
WHY DON'T YOU JUST KISS ME!
IT'S JUST A KISS!
IT'S JUST A KISS!
1ST BASE, 2ND BASE, ALL THE WAY HOME
I CAN'T GO KISSIN' ALONE
BACK TO KISSIN'--UNDERWATER
I WANNA KISS YOU--UNDERWATER
GONNA DROWN ME--UNDERWATER
GONE KISSIN'--UNDERWATER
I THINK ABOUT IT WHEN I'M ALONE
I WANNA GO KISSIN' WHEN I'M AT HOME
WHY DON'T YOU JUST KISS ME!?
IT'S JUST A KISS, IT'S JUST A KISS
1ST BASE, 2ND BASE, 3RD BASE, FUCK!!


DON'T WANT YOU

THE FIRST DAY, THAT I SAW YOU
I THOUGHT YOU WERE SO FINE
I THOUGHT THAT YOU COULD BE, THAT YOU COULD BE THE ONE
IT TOOK ME WEEKS AND WEEKS TO GET THE NERVE TO TALK TO YOU
I HAD SUCH VERY HIGH HOPES, THAT YOU COULD BE THE ONE
YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE HOT STUFF, THINK THAT YOU'RE PRETTY COOL
BUT IN MY DECK OF CARDS NOW, YOU PLAY THE FOOL
AND WHEN I LOOK BACK ON IT, ON ALL THE WASTED TIME
I SPENT JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU AND WISHING YOU WERE MINE
I HAD THE FEVER BUT THE FEVER'S GONE(I DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE)
TRYIN' TO SHAKE YOU BUT YOU'RE HOLDING ON
THOUGHT YOU WERE RIGHT BUT YOUR MR, WRONG
SAD BUT TRUE I'M OVER YOU
I HAD SUCH VERY HIGH HOPES, THAT YOU COULD BE THE BUTTER FOR MY TOAST
IN MY MIND YOU WERE RED HOT, BUT YOU TURNED INTO A LONG SHOT
BECAUSE I GUESS THIS TIME, WELL I JUST CHANGED MY MIND
I DIDN'T MEAN TO LEAD YOU ON, I HAD THE FEVER FOR THE FLAVOR BUT THE FEVER IS GONE
STARTED OFF STRONG, BUT IT DIDN'T LAST LONG(I DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE)
TRYIN' TO SHAKE YA BUT YOUR HOLDIN' ON
THOUGHT YOU WERE RIGHT BUT YOUR MR. WRONG
SAD BUT TRUE I'M OVER YOU
DON'T WANT YOU! I DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE!


THE BABY

BABY'S NEVER GONNA GROW UP
BEST HE'S GONNA DO IS THROW-UP
ONLY CRAWLS, HE CAN'T WALK
NEVER GONNA LEARN TO TALK
CATTLEPROD HIM, KEEP HIM SMALL
HE WON'T STAND UP AT ALL
RUB HIS LEGS THEY WON'T GO BAD
MOMMA'S GETTIN' MAD

NEVER GONNA GROW UP AT ALL! NO!

BABY'S SUCH A BIG BOY
TO HIS SISTERS HES A BIG TOY
ONE CRAWLS INTO HIS CRIB
SHE PULLS OFF HIS BIB
BABY'S WORKERS JUST AS WACKED
THE WHOLE SCENE THERE IS FUCKIN' CRACKED
TRIES TO MAKE HIM TOSS THE BALL
ALL HE CAN DO IS CRAWL
HE HAS A PATHETIC CRY AT THE AGE OF 35
HIS ADULTHOOD HAS BEEN HOG TIED
ALL HE'LL EVER DO IS CRY
HE SUCKS HIS SISTERS TIT AND HIS MOM PUT AN END TO IT
ALBA KEEPS HIM IN HIS PEN
HIS NIGHTMARE NEVER ENDS


*@#%!*&

P--IS FOR THE PAIN YOU GAVE ME EVER FUCKIN' MONTH!
M--IS FOR THE MEMMORIES OF ALL THE THROWIN' UP!
S--IS FOR THE SWELLING OF MY TITS AND OVARIES
I DON'T LIKE IT PMS
BUT I GOT IT PMS
EVERY MONTH IT'S PMS
GIMME A HEATING PAD PMS!
GOT ANY ADVIL?! GOT ANY CHOCOLATE?!
I NEED A GOOD FUCK!
TITS AND OVARIES, OH MOMMY!


WING CHUN

SHE LOOKS LIKE BOY, BUT SHE'S REALLY A GIRL KICK YOUR ASS MAKE YOUR STRAIGHT HAIR CURL
SHE GOT THE SOYA BEANCURD AND WON'T GIVE IT UP FOR FREE
SO DON'T MESS WITH HER FACTORY
EVERYBODY'S GONNA WING CHUN, TONITE!
BETTER RUN FOR COVER WHEN SHE'S GOT YOU IN SIGHT
EVERBODY'S GONNA WING CHUN, TONITE
SHE'S THE ONE WHO'S GONNA WIN THE FIGHT
SHE LIGHT YOU ON FIRE WHEN SHE'S FLYIN' THRU THE AIR
FIGHT WITH STICKS AND SWORDS AND HER HANDS ALL BARE
SHE'S THE KUNG FU JOAN OF ARC AND SHE DON'T EVEN CARE
SHE'LL KICK YOUR ASS CUZ SHE'S HAS NO FEAR
WING CHUN! SHE'S ALWAYS A WINNER
WING CHUN! SHE'LL MAKE A TOFU DINNER
WING CHUN! SHE MAY BE MEAN
WING CHUN! SHE'S A KUNG FU QUEEN
THERE'S A BIG SHOW DOWN BETWEEN HER AND THE GUY
SHE CHOPS WITH HER ARMS, HEADS LOCKS WITH HER THEIGHS
YOU MAYBE WORRIES, BUT TO YOUR SURPRISE
SHE SWATS THEM OUT LIKE ANNOYING LITTLE FLIES


MMM DONUTS

MMM...DONUTS
BOSTON CREAM, SPRINKLES
GIMME A DOZEN
UM DONUTS!
CRULLERS, CHOCOLATE!
MMM...DONUTS


MISSED IT

WELL,I GOT CAUGHT IN TRAFFIC
AND IT MADE ME MISS MY FIGHT
MY FIGHT!
AND THEYAREN'T GONNA HAVE ANOTHER ONE
'TILL TOMARROW NIGHT!
THAT'S RIGHTS!I'M RUNNIN' FOR THE TRAIN
CUZ I'M LATE FOR WORK AGAIN
OH NO!vAND THE DOORS SLAM SHUT BEFORE I CAN GET IN!
I MISSED!
BECAUSE I MISSED IT!
BORN TOO LATE
I WAS BORN TOO LATE SO I NEVER GOT TO SEE JIMI HENDRIX
HE'S DEAD!
I WAS BORN TOO LATE SO I NEVER GOT TO MEET SID VICIOUS! HE'S DEAD!
I WAS BORN TOO LATE SO I NEVER GOT TO SEE ZIGGY STARDUST! OH NO!
I WAS BORN TOO LATE SO I NEVER GOT TO SEE T-REX
I MISSED IT!
I MISSED A RIDE, I MISSED A PLANE
MISSED A LIGHT! MISSED A TRAIN
MISS MY SISTER, MISSED MY PERIOD
MISS MY MOTHER, MISS MY FATHER
MISS MY BOYFRIEND, MISS MY GIRLFRIEND
I MISSED MY PERIOD!
BECAUSE I MISSED IT!
BECAUSE I MISSED IT!
BORN TOO LATE





All Songs ©Lunachicks 1996

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