From the Occult
to Christ
By
Dutchman
This is my testimony as far as I have written it down.
Some parts of this testimony has been really hard to write down
and brought back a lot of pain and sorrow, but I think it was good for me to
have done it.
I have written down some parts in the way how I felt it in that
time but is not equal to how I experience and feel my live today, that is in
the Light of our Almighty Lord Jesus Christ. Praised be His Name forever and
ever.
I was raised in a church-going family with two older brothers. As
long as I can remember my mother has been sick and weak; during her illness she
went to an acupuncturist to find healing. This was a grave mistake because this
man was doing more than acupuncture alone and brought my mother under hypnosis.
During these sessions he made my mother make oaths and blood oaths to a certain
name which I do not know.
Years later two evangelists, running a campaign in our city, came
at our door and invited my mom to a service, well hell broke loose literally
and she attacked the two. They helped my mother to find an address with people
who could help her with this problem. I was still 16 years old when that
happened. My mother received counselling to overcome the troubles of which I
had no knowledge at all. All of this did interest me, so I went to the library
and got some books on occultism. They were pretty interesting and handed me a
way to get the attention I was longing for. Most of the attention in our family
was on my mom because of her situation. One of the books explained how to get a
spiritual guide who would always be with you in hard times. That was exactly
what I was looking for so I tried it out. It was kind of like praying and
calling upon my personal spiritual guide, so said the book.
At first nothing happened, but the third time I opened my eyes a
young lady was standing in front of me in my bedroom, and introduced herself
with her name and that she was my personal spiritual guide. I was shocked to
say the least. She looked like the most wonderful girl I had ever seen in my
life, very long dark hair a smooth face and very delicate. She seemed to be
floating somewhat and was enveloped in a white dress that waved a bit along her
sides. The way she looked at me was as if she was completely dedicated to being
there for me, and it filled me with a great feeling of awe and respect. Her
name was Amethyst, later she told me that the stone called Amethyst was my
birthstone and therefore she was meant to be my guide. A lot later, years after
I became a Christian I found out that it's real name was "Tempter, Lord of
the lower Countries" and was in command over a big part of Europe.
She visited me on a regular basis and I became more at ease with
her presence, until she started treating me as a friend. She had me from that
time because I found it marvellous to have a good looking friend always there
when you want her to be, just for me alone. Her appearance changed after a
while into a more normal looking person although there was always something that
made her look different then normal people, a kind of smoothness or purity.
This relationship grew and grew, she began to teach me things like how to come
at ease with yourself and to look into the future. The only thing was, I was
not to share myself with another person whatsoever, she was for me, I was for
her. This brought some complications, I was a sixteen year old boy with teenage
feelings for girls, but she had the perfect answer to that, tell me who you
want me to look like and I’ll be her for you. The sexual part was no problem
either, she filled all my needs and desires. The needs and desires a sixteen
year old boy has was one of the first things that she offered me to meet. First
to make me hers alone and second to compensate that wish of her. She really
changed appearance to any girl I liked and then presented herself to me to have
sex with her. It still makes me feel sick when I think about it of this being
the way of loosing my virginity. Later when I knew more about the spiritual
world I learned that she was also a "Succubus" which is nothing less
then a demon specialised in having sexual contact with a human. A Succubus is
an ungodly spirit versus a man, an Incubus is that versus a woman.
This sexual contact became later a way to get into astral state
where she led me into for a deeper consciousness so I could learn more about
the deeper planes within me and develop the powers that were to be found there.
She also said that I was a good apprentice and that she had big plans for me
and that she would teach me so that I could meet her master in time. She never
told me who her master was but she was scared for him and always talked with
the greatest respect for him. She did tell me however that she wanted me to
become a strong medium that could do great things to win others for her master.
She told me and taught me that I was special because I was an Aquarius of birth
and that the new age we were going in was the age of Aquarius. She taught me
how to meet her in places not of this earth, so she could even teach me better,
there were no distractions of mind and a perfect balance between her and me. I
had many powerful experiences with that guide for 6 years as she was teaching
me. Astral travel, meditation, talking to the dead and cursing people etc. etc.
During these astral travels she led me to places that are not to describe
really, but she also led me to places here on earth like Egypt to see the
pyramids and the gods who once dwelled there, or South America to feel the
spiritual powers that were once beheld in the gods of the Incas. Europe was her
favourite however because of the mighty gods that had reigned there like Odin
and Frayia. Later it was easy to tell why it liked Europe so much because that
was the earthly region where it was assigned to.
Necromancy or talking to the dead was something I really not ever
learned to do in the way some Wiccan’s do, or worked with tarot cards for
example (although I had a set). My guide had a very large amount of servants
that provided in all sorts of spiritual powers. So necromancy took place with
the co-operation of a "familiar spirit" as they were called, it
introduced the person to me I would like to talk to when I was in deep
meditation. Also divination or foretelling the future happened with the help of
a familiar spirit.
The cursing practices went very far, and it still hurts me a lot
when I say that a person has died because of it. This is how it happened:
It was on a weekend I was going out from one bar to another. I
have gotten pretty drunk when I went outside one of the bars to get some fresh
air. This guy I knew came up to me an pulled me aside. I Knew him to be a drug
addict and a drunk, I despised the guy. He told me to give him my money or
else. I didn't give him what he wanted so he took it, hitting me senseless
doing so. I kept my anger for him the rest of the weekend and when I came home
Monday night my guide asked me what was wrong with me. I told her that she knew
what was wrong and got even more angry because she never did anything from preventing
it. She then asked me if she could do something for me, anything. I said, yes
kill him. She told me that that could be taken care off if I only cursed him
the way she had taught me to curse someone. He was under their control anyway
she said. So I did. Two weeks later I came in the same bar and this guy came up
to me. He said, wow you really got beat up two weeks ago didn't ya, and
continued, well he will never bother you again cos he's dead. I asked him how
he died. He answered, he got some kind of bleeding in the head and died just
like that. I Asked him when that had happened. That was on the Monday night I
cursed him.
Cursing and spell crafting had it's own rituals that the guide
taught me with the use of books and during astral travel, some of those needed
a sacrifice of blood, usually an animal but sometimes, like with the curse to
death, I had to offer some of my own blood. Now this is a part I really don't
want to get into because it's not vital for anyone to know how to perform a
curse.
During these six years I never stopped believing in God and Jesus
as I was raised that way. That was no problem because my guide believed in Him
too (James 2:19) and as long as I didn't show attention to God it was all right
because I could not share myself with someone else or she would have to leave,
and I didn't want that. But the fact that this person actually died because of
my cursing hit me like a bomb, and I knew for the very first time that I had
done something that had to be terrible in God's eyes.
As the years grew by I felt more and more uneasy towards God and I
started to realise that there were a lot of things that I did were wrong. And
the deeper my relationship with my spiritual guide became. The more this
feeling grew stronger and stronger. This until I started to get scared of God.
My spiritual guide noticed this and kept telling me that as long I didn't pay
attention to God He could do me no harm. If I did pay attention to God however,
He would surely punish me for the things He didn't like.
I have to add that the guide started to overload me more and more
with spiritual experiences like telekinesis (lifting or moving of objects and
sorts with my mind), but also physical miracles, like providing me money when I
needed it. Later I saw that this was to blind me from the insight I got into
God's true nature.
Now I really knew something was wrong because if God found things
wrong and would punish me, how could it be right what I did? This argument grew
stronger as time passed and I got really scared of God. My guide began scaring
me too because it started to threaten me that if I would give in to my fears
for God then she would definitely kill me. "And you know what I am capable
off." she said. I was starting to slip into total darkness, scared of God
and my ever so friendly and helpful guide turned on me more and more. She
started to hurt me mentally and physically to make me remember in what position
I was. She was the leader I had to obey, being sure to lose my life if I
didn't.
This period of darkness lasted for about a six months as I recall,
until the moment of my salvation. The ever so friendly guide looked and behaved
totally different from what it used to be. I noticed ever more often that
because of the anger within it, it had a hard time keeping up the appearance of
a nice girl and changed into a vulgar looking creature smelling like a dead
body with convulsing movements. On the 12th of September 1987 I got so
desperate and mad at God, because I believed He caused all of this trouble,
because if He didn't make me feel guilty then my guide wouldn't have stood up
against me. At the actual moment of salvation or better before that my guide
must have noticed that something was about to happen because it lifted to what
I think was it's natural size and shape. It was about four times bigger then me
and looked more like a monster then human, black leathery and wet, smelling
like rotting flesh, some yucky substance dripping from it's mouth. It was evil
just plane evil, no monster in whatever scary movie looked like it and I could
actually feel the hatred it had inside coming out as a hot breath with every
word it said. Blaspheming God and cursing me with the most terrible things I
ever heard of.
When I screamed out to God to take what He wanted or please take
my life (and I meant kill me), the beast went totally hysterical and tried to
kill me with it's claws and curses. This until it looked like it was slammed
away from one side of the room to the other and back again, like something or
someone was hitting it there. It screamed with a deafening sound and from one
moment to the other it was gone. Everything was gone, the beast, it's smell,
it's sound, everything. All that was left was me. Slowly a feeling grew in me
as intense as I had never experienced before. It wasn't a feeling of joy or
happiness but.. guilt, Guilt, GUILT !!!!
God had responded to my cry, not because I was such a loyal or
lovable person, no only because I meant what I said from the bottom of my heart
(Romans 10:9-10). I cried for hours and many things I had done wrong passed
through my mind. I told them to God because my fear for Him was totally gone
too, and I knew He forgave me all my sins that I committed as I went down the
list of all that I could remember. Praise His Name forever. God really ripped
me out of my life of destruction. He dragged me out of the darkness I was
living in. I felt as I was given a new personality, new thinking, new feelings,
or just in a couple words, A NEW ME. Praise Him my Jesus. (2 Corinthians 5:17 &
Ezekiel 36:26)
All together it took well over 3 years to make me free of all the
spirits and powers who where involved in this plot of evil. There were hundreds
of them, but only two had direct control over me, they were the leaders so to
speak. I don't want to go into detail about my period of deliverance because of
the very personal nature of it. All I can say is that Christ Jesus stands far
above any ungodly spirit that opposes Him. For no creature can rise above it's
Creator.
From the two spirits that had control over me, the second one was
slain about two years ago. It really started about 8 years ago when I got sick,
I had "Trigeminus Neuralgia" (I don't know if that is the exact
English phrase), terrible pains on one side of the face, this lasted for about
2 years. During the last year I had to inject myself frequently with
painkillers to make life even a bit possible. After two years I was
hospitalised for head surgery to remove a blood clot that probably was the
cause of the pains. The day before I was to get surgery the doctor came up to
me and said he didn't want to go thru with it because the possible side affects
were to great, and he was not 100% sure that a blood clot was the problem. I
was to stay at the hospital though for further research. Now besides the
constant pain there were pain attacks also that drove me almost crazy, and I
wanted to tear my cheek off when that happened. After two weeks in the hospital
one of those attacks went way out of hand and I really thought, no let me
rephrase that, I knew I was going to die, I was no longer aware of my
surroundings and all I did was say goodbye to all the ones I loved, my wife, my
parents, my brothers. The nurse that was called by the patient laying next to
me decided to give me an injection against the pain. I was not aware of that
but I think it was that moment when she gave me that shot I passed out, it must
have been morphine or something like that.
That was for my experience the moment of me dying and parting this
world. Now I knew where I was
going (1 John 5:13) and I had said goodbye to all my loved ones so I was ready
to go,...............however. When I woke up the next day (for me the
experience of coming too in heaven), I expected to see my Lord Jesus and the
first thing I noticed was that the pain in my face was gone which was right
because there would be no more pain. But when I opened my eyes I expected a lot
but not my hospital room. That was such a shock to me that it gave me a trauma
that lasted over four years. The doctor said that it probably had been a blood
clot after all that came loose and caused the severe pain. During those four
years I suffered from terrible nightmares of me dying exactly as it happened in
the hospital, only with the difference that now I really died and saw what my
wife and family went thru after my death.
The pain, the sorrow, the preparation for the funeral, even the
verse on my tomb, which was the verse we got on the day we married, Psalms
68:19 Blessed be the Lord, who daily beareth our burden, Even the God who is
our salvation.
I have had several years of counselling for this trauma but at the
end they told me that they could not really help me anymore. My wife and I were
desperate and the only thing we could do was trust in God. My wife asked me if
an anointing with oil would be something to be in place here, because the Bible
spoke of healing by anointing with oil by the elders. We asked our pastor and
he agreed. Two days after the elders and pastor came and anointed me with oil
and prayer most of the nightmares were gone but not all. My wife and I said to
each other "there must be a reason for it of not all dreams being
gone".
A good friend of ours who was also a pastoral worker visited us
and I had some real good conversations with him. On one given moment he asked
me if I had ever been involved in the occult and I said yes and told Him about
it. Well that was a trigger because two days later, who started appearing again
? Right Amethyst. First as the girl, but when it noticed that that had no
effect it came in it's true shape and nature, not alone but with many of it's
soldiers and commanders. Sometimes I went outside the house and they were
waiting for me, hundreds, all just as vulgar as their leader. It never appeared
in our house for God was living there, Praised be His Name. I went to my
counsellor (a different one then that helped me during my trauma) and we talked
about all what had happened. He said "boy I think you're not completely
free yet so lets pray" The second and last spirit was driven out, the one
still having rights over me because of some forgotten things I never confessed.
This last one talked a lot and was blaming the leader for all the trouble he
had caused.
It's name was Oppression and was responsible for my neuralgia, my
death experience, my trauma and the nightmares. After this deliverance, my live
started to change dramatically, I became more healthy as I had ever been in my
whole live. My relationship with God grew tremendously and mentally I became
stronger and stronger.
During my new reborn life with God I've had great experiences of
His power. He showed me that He is the Ultimate Power and Might in Heaven and
Earth. I used to be impressed by the power of the forces of darkness but He
showed me what real Power is. Praise Him for the Lord God almighty reigns. His
blood has washed all my sins away, and He now takes responsibility for the
things I have done wrong, because now I am His child and as a father is
responsible for the actions of his child, so is He for mine as long as I bring
it all to Him. But He also gets all the credit for all the good things in my
life :)
I know now that I cannot live without God, not here and not in
eternity. I need Him in everything. I do because the opponent will not hesitate
to strike me, but praise Him, I am safe under His wings. (see Psalm 91)
I live a quiet life now, I have my wife and my two year old
daughter. We are members of a very nice Baptist church in the city in which we
live. I work as a CAD engineer on underground structures. In short everything
is calm now. I ask God and expect Him to lead me on the road He has prepared
for me. And just now I am experiencing His calling to help others with similar
problems as I have had. He has given me time to learn and understand His ways
and I thank Him forever to see He starts using me and my experiences for the
Glory of His Name.
Rom 8:38-39 For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor
angels, nor rulers, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor
height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the
love of God in Christ Jesus, our Lord.
John 8:36 Therefore, if the Son sets you free, you are free
indeed.
Praised be our Lord Jesus Christ the Son of God forever and ever.
(Editor’s Note:
The person who wrote this wrote it under the pseudonym Dutchman for personal
reasons. I have met him and can verify many of the facts contained in this
account having had mildly similar experiences dabbling in the occult before I
became a Christian. Also the grammar may appear a little different, this is
because the writer’s first language isn’t English but Dutch [Nederland’s], and
I have preserved the writing style in order for the writer’s thoughts to come
through. S. Aisbitt 21/3/02)
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