1. The ones who inflict the
physical and mental abuse. In most cases, the father and husband.
2. The ones who try to hide the fact
that people belonging to category 1, do exist. These people are men and
sadly, women too.
Muslims, WAKE UP.
It is unfair and outrageous to claim that domestic violence does
not exist in our communities. IT DOES EXIST and people of both categories
ought to be ashamed of themselves.
Domestic violence is Islamically wrong.
There is no compromise to this. Denying it does
not make it ok and it does not make it go away. You merely stifle
the voices and dampen the much-needed courage of abused women who are trying
to cry for help in an already patriarchal society.
After I created the "Muslims against Domestic
Violence" webring and the MADV section on my website, several people were
shocked - they sent protest e-mails such as this:
"I was a bit
mad at that time when i saw the site that you had. The site could make
people believe that Muslims are violent as the Western Media has deliberately
done this against Muslims." (from someone who named himself a servant of
God)
Firstly, are
you going to let your sisters suffer in silence while you defensively and
frantically try and prove the media wrong at all costs? Secondly,
this has nothing to do with the media. Muslim men are beating their
wives, next door to you and me. I am not the only one who can and
will vouch for this. You cannot hide this ugly head from Non-Muslims by
denying it. That is hypocritical and Non-Muslims are not stupid.
Here is an e-mail I received recently:
"Assalamu Alaikum
Sister.
Congratulations
on your initiative! I had been wanting to do something for a long time
regarding the subject of domestic violence in Muslim homes...being the
victim of 8 years of severe physical and verbal attacks by my Muslim husband.
In spite of the fact that I had been told by several 'scholars' that I
didn't have the right to divorce him...he would have to divorce me...I
left him anyway after declaring Talaat Talaat Talaat. ...in two languages!
I write for several Islamic publications.....I will also try and get a
story together for you of how I survived long enough to get out....how
I left and how I am doing now...I work from home, halal work, Alhamdulillah
and others can do it too. No one should have to live in those conditions.
It's emotionally and physically dibilitating. I had a very hard time in
coming to terms with my moral obligation to my husband, I prayed for the
guidance to do the right thing in front of Allah...and just one day after
about 7 years I just said after reading Qur'an for some answer.. I realized
Allah did not intend for us to suffer in this way for someone else's sickness."I
planned my work and worked my plan" and Alhamdulillah, He is taking care
of me. It is a struggle to go through but the benefits are immeasurable.
My life is peaceful and I'm not tense all the time waiting to be beaten,
humiliated, and degraded and then supposed to be 'sexy'. Alhamdullilah,
I am free to be! Thank you for doing this...it is exceptional and courageous
work on your part. May the blessings of Allah be upon you for your strengh
of character, Inshallah.
Cordially and
salaams. Layla"
If anyone still refuses to accept the fact
that this problem exists - which planet have you been living on? The only
way we can help these women is to admit it & then work on ways to rectify
the situation. Inshallah this might encourage a husband
or a parent to re-think his ways. Not only that, you will also help to
dispel the misconception many Non-Muslims have - that Islam instructs husbands
to beat their wives. Help clear their doubts!
Please read the following articles to find
out exactly how Islamically wrong domestic violence is and how we ALL need
to work together to help not only the victim but the abuser as well.
Also remember -
If you know how
to alleviate torment, but you don't help alleviate it, you become one of
the tormentors....
May God guide us...
Domestic Violence
