DAMSEL IN THE ROUGH at Barnes & Nobles
Also at Amazon.com
The era is Ancient Greece during the start of the Roman Empire. Amazon warriors travel in secret tribes, not always getting alone with each other. The world is a deadly, changing place afflicted by the superior technology of gods. Damsel in the Rough is Tasha Malone Fidelli, a resourceful co-ed and unwitting time-traveler from Brooklyn, New York. Excellent Sci-fi, active, packed with valid survival techniques, unique questions about prehistory events, and mostly adventure with rampant humor mixed in the lore of mythological fancy.
SAMPLE TEXT: This is Chapter 4 split into small pages, no frames, and much kinder to WEBTV browsers.
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Humor

MONTANA GRIZZLY BEAR NOTICE:

In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while in the field.
We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear poop. Black bear poop contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear poop has little bells in it and smells like pepper.

THE TAKE ON TO TAKE:

"The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. 
You have to catch it yourself."
--Ben Franklin.

"Is life so dear or peace so sweet as to be purchased 
at the price of chains and slavery? 
Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others 
may take, but as for me, give me liberty, 
or give me death!" -Patrick Henry

"Don't take life seriously because you can't come 
out of it alive." -Warren Miller

"The only real mistake is the one from which we 
learn nothing." -John Powell

"I took the road less traveled by, and that has 
made all the difference." -(Robert Frost) The Road Not Taken

"There are no mistakes, no coincidences. 
All events are blessings given to us to learn from."
-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

"Being president is like being a jackass in a 
hailstorm.  There's nothing to do but to stand there
and take it." -Lyndon B. Johnson

"The important thing to recognize is that it takes 
a team, and the team ought to get credit for the wins
 and the losses. 
Successes have many fathers, failures have none." 
 -Philip Caldwell

"People take different roads seeking fulfillment 
and happiness. Just because they're not on your
road doesn't mean they've gotten lost."
-H. Jackson Browne

"We should take care not to make the intellect our god; 
it has, of course, powerful muscles, but 
no personality." -Albert Einstein

"Half the world is composed of idiots, 
the other half of people clever enough to take 
indecent advantage of them." -Walter Kerr

"Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.
 Talent will not; nothing is more common than 
unsuccessful people with talent. 
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
 Education will not; the world is full of educated
derelicts. 
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
 The slogan 'press on' has solved and always 
will solve the problems of the human race." 
-Calvin Coolidge

"Freedom is not worth having if it does not include 
the freedom to make mistakes." -Mahatma Gandhi

"The right to be heard does not autmatically include
 the right to be taken seriously." -Hubert Humphrey

"He who joyfully marches in rank and file
  has already earned my contempt. 
He has been given a large brain by mistake, 
since for him the spinal cord would suffice."
-Albert Einstein

"Beware how you take away hope 
from another human being." -Oliver Wendell Holmes

"We who lived in concentration camps can remember
  the men who walked through the huts comforting others,
 giving away their last piece of bread. 
They may have been few in number, but they offer 
sufficient proof that everything can be taken 
from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms
 - to choose one's attitude in any given set of 
circumstances - to choose one's own way."
-Victor Frankl

"Watergate showed more strengths in our system 
 than weaknesses... The whole country did take
part in quite a genuine sense in passing 
 judgment on Richard Nixon." -Archibald Cox

While technically I did not commit a crime, 
an impeachable offense... 
these are legalisms, as far as the handling 
of this matter is concerned; 
it was so botched up, I made so many bad judgments. 
The worst ones, mistakes of the heart, 
rather than the head. 
But let me say, a man in that top job - 
he's got to have a heart, but his head must
always rule his heart." -Richard Nixon

"We are all in it together. This is a war. 
We take a few shots and it will be over. 
We will give them a few shots 
and it will be over." -Richard Nixon

"You must pursue this investigation of Watergate 
even if it leads to the president. I'm innocent.
You've got to believe I'm innocent. 
If you don't, take my job." -Richard Nixon

"I can take it... The tougher it gets, 
the cooler I get."
-Richard Nixon

"All of us, at certain moments of our lives, 
need to take advice and to receive help from other
people." -Alexis Carrel

"Take away paradox from the thinker 
and you have a professor." -Søren Kierkegaard

"It is a revenge the devil sometimes takes 
upon the virtuous, 
that he entraps them by the force of
the very passion they have suppressed 
and think themselves superior to." 
-George Santayana

"Take this kiss upon the brow!
 And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream."
-Edgar Allan Poe, Dream Within A Dream, A

"When you're run down the best thing to take
 is the licence number." -Anon.

"Work is a fine thing if it doesn't take 
too much of your spare time." -Anon.

"Bad weather is God's way of saying, 
'take the day off.'"

"I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got."

the three grand essentials to happiness:
 something to do,
  something to love,
  something to hope for.--thank you, Willadena!

-No jumping from the bridge.
Survivors will be prosecuted.--thank you, Darla!

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