The Caviar Dunk. A take-off of the classic heroine-in-quicksand peril with the additional twist that the heroine is also being frozen to death as she drowns.

As it appears in The Ogg Couple episode, the Caviar Dunk is not really used as a deliberately contrived classic bat trap. Rather, throwing Batgirl into the vat of caviar appears to be a spur-of-the-moment act to at least get rid of Batgirl before Batman and Robin can subdue the villains and also gives them time to escape.

I won't say much on the effects being submerged in frozen caviar will have on the body as others have already done so. From reading what others have written on this peril, however, I gather they expect the survival time to be on the order of about five to six minutes. Suffice it to say that I don't think anyone would last more than two minutes in this peril before death occurred by the deadly combination of freezing and drowning and these are the reasons.

Batgirl is not just being frozen. Her body heat is literally being sucked right out of her body with the consequence being that her legs will quickly become too numb for her to pump them to stay afloat. Once that occurs, Batgirl will quickly sink beneath the surface and perish since her arms are tied behind her back and she can't even use them to grab the ledge or to help stay afloat. Remember this two minutes time limit.

But now, the question is: Is the Caviar Dunk peril really as spur-of-the-moment as it seems? From the Cossacks Sabre Dance Analysis, we surmised that Egghead and Olga discussed how to do away with Batgirl, while she was unconscious and being tied up by the Cossacks. Egghead, being centered around eggs and egg-crimes as he is, undoubtedly realized that they could get rid of Batgirl almost instantly by throwing her into the caviar (fish eggs) to be frozen and drowned. Indeed, using the caviar to get rid of the Caped Crusaders and Batgirl may have even been part of Egghead's dastardly plan when he stole it in the first place. Olga, too, may have been inclined to get rid of Batgirl this way instead of using the Cossack Sabre Dance, for reasons that will become apparent later on.

Now, let's get one of those timers from the television show Sliders, and sliiiide onto a parallel earth and Gotham City and an alternate Ogg Couple episode storyline.

As our alternate storyline opens, Batgirl has just been knocked out after slipping in the caviar that Olga had thrown at her feet, and striking her head hard on the floor. As two of the Cossacks are tying the unconscious Crimefightress’s hands behind her back, Egghead and Olga are having a spirited debate over how to do away with her.

Egghead, for his part, has previously shown a propensity to eliminate costumed crime fighters very quickly. In the Ogg and I episode, Egghead immediately wanted to eggzcute the Caped Crusaders after Olga had captured them sneaking out of the stolen Brass Samovar of Ghenghis Khan. In How to Hatch a Dinosaur, Egghead’s plan was to immediately feed Batgirl and Robin to the Neosaurus after it had hatched. Stretching reality here a bit and saying that the Neosaurus is closely related to the Velopti-raptor from Jurassic Park, it’s plain to see that both Batgirl and Robin, fighting together, would have lasted only seconds against it.

Most especially, however, Egghead is probably feeling particularly vengeful against Batgirl after her callous and disrespectful treatment of him at the bank. He wants to eliminate Batgirl quickly before she can tell Olga of his cowardly conduct.

Olga, on the other hand, wants to draw out Batgirl's impending demise by forcing her to do the Cossack Sabre Dance. This traditional Cossack method of entertaining themselves with captured prisoners lasts longer, gives all the Cossacks a chance to participate, and is extremely entertaining to watch.

One this parallel earth, however, Egghead eventually convinces Olga that they should throw Batgirl into the caviar to rid themselves of her instead of eliminating the heroine in the Cossack Sabre Dance.

Now, as Batgirl regains consciousness, two Cossacks jerk her to her feet and drag her roughly before Olga's throne. Olga gestures dramatically at Batgirl and says, "Und now my little pipkin, we are throwing you in vat of frozen caviar to drown."

Immediately, the two Cossacks holding Batgirl by her arms, scoop her up and carry the wide-eyed struggling crimefightress (think of Catwoman's two goons snatching a surprised Batgirl off her Batgirlcycle and carrying her away to the Cats Whiskers) to the vat of caviar. The remaining Cossacks gather around the vat and cheer wildly over Batgirl's impending peril.

Batgirl struggles wildly as she is carried up the ladder to the top of the vat. She fully realizes just how fast she will perish once she is thrown in (it comes from her knowledge of first aid, hypothermia, and freezing as part of her training to become Batgirl...and also from watching the movie, Titanic).

Her struggles are to no avail as the two Cossacks easily wrestle her up the ladder and toss for feet first into the vat of caviar. Batgirl cries out and gasps deeply in shock as she sinks into the freezing cold caviar up to her neck, immediately feeling the heat being sucked from her body.

Gathered on the ledge around the top of the vat now, (they didn't have any place to run off to...leaving her to perish, like on our earth) Egghead, Olga, and their Cossacks, are joyously celebrating the impending demise of Batgirl as she flounders in the caviar. We can imagine Batgirl's frantic struggles and helpless teeth-chattering outcries as the villains taunt her over her impending doom. Further, we can imagine during this deadly ordeal, that Batgirl's head actually goes under several times (Batgirl's head appeared to go under once after less than 15 seconds in the original version).

But wait! Batman and Robin are about to break-in to Batgirl's rescue now, aren't they? Well, actually no, not in this version of the Ogg Couple. If you remember the timeline established in the Cossack Sabre Dance Analysis, it was determined that we were watching the very beginning and the very ending of the dance. We had also determined that the dance itself had gone on about 20 minutes before the heroes arrived.

Because of this crucial 20-minute time element, Batman and Robin are still out on Gotham's streets somewhere. They are still trying to track Batgirl to the villains' hideout with the Batmobile's Bat Geiger counter zeroing in on the radioactive spark plugs of the Batgirlcycle.

No, Batgirl is not about to be rescued by the Caped Crusaders! She fights and struggles, but the terrible outcome is never in doubt. Her body freezes and her legs become numb...too numb for her to feel or pump them. Frozen and exhausted, Batgirl's head slips beneath the surface of the caviar one final time, there is a last burst of bubbles and...well, you get the picture.

Eventually, Batman and Robin arrive at the hideout and burst in on the villains as the Cossacks are having another victory dance (like the one they had at the beginning of the Ogg Couple episode, when they had stolen the silver scimitar and golden egg). Batman immediately demands to know where Batgirl is from the villains. Egghead replies, "You're too late Batman. She's in there," he laughs triumphantly as he points at the vat, "Eggspired at the bottom of my vat of caviar."

Horrified and sickened over the demise of their partner Batgirl, the Caped Crusaders fly into a wild rage and attack the Cossacks, knocking them left and right. For a while, it looks like Batman and Robin will quickly subdue the Cossacks.

But wait! Sick with grief over the literal "cold-blooded" murder of their companion, the Dynamic Duo does not use the teamwork they normally employ when they battle with villains. Additionally, the Cossacks are feeling especially brave and confident, after what they have just succeeded in doing to Batgirl, and put up a tremendous fight. Eventually, the tide turns, and Batman and Robin are subdued by the villains and tied up.

Now, the villains have Batman and Robin in their clutches! Again, there is a debate over how to do away with the captives. Here is where things get convoluted. At this point, Egghead can argue strongly for tossing both of the Caped Captives into the vat to join Batgirl. Olga, too, may now also be inclined to dispose of them this way. Remember what I said earlier about Olga possibly seeming agreeable to dispose of Batgirl in the caviar in the first place? Here is the reason why.

There appears to be an especially sick trait in Cossack culture. After Batman and Robin had been captured back in the Ogg and I episode, one of Olga's henchmen was going to make "wedding borscht," to celebrate the impending nuptials between Batman and Olga...with Robin and Commissioner Gordon as the main ingredients, no less.

With this cannibalistic streak in Cossack culture, can there be any doubt that some ghoulish Cossack cookbook has a recipe for caviar-coated Caped Crimefighters? Indeed, back on our world after her rescue, Batgirl's comment about nearly being turned into a “human hors d'oeuvre” may not be just a casual remark but actual knowledge of such a grisly Cossack recipe or practice.

Yikes! Holy bat-snacks!

Getting back on track again here, the villains might instead now decide to get rid of Batman and Robin by forcing them to do the Cossack Sabre Dance. Holy Switcheroo! Which hero would go first?

An argument can be made either way. By making Robin dance the Cossack Sabre Dance first, Batman is forced to watch his young companion's untimely ending, creating additional mental anguish for the Caped Crusader before it is his turn to die dancing. One the other hand, Batman is by far, the more dangerous of the two heroes. The villains might make Batman dance first, to get him out of the way and then go to work on Robin.

A third option would be to split the Caped Crusaders between the Cossack Sabre Dance and the Caviar Dunk. They could dump Batman into the vat to take care of him quickly while they take their time making Robin dance. Conversely, they could force Batman to watch Robin's rapid demise in the caviar before leisurely finishing the Caped Crusader off in the Cossack Sabre Dance.

Backing up for a bit, suppose Batman and Robin somehow arrived early and burst in on the villains just as Batgirl was being tossed into the vat. Now, the Dynamic Duo would be fighting an especially difficult battle. Instead of fighting to subdue the Cossacks, the Caped Crusaders would be trying to fight through them to rescue Batgirl under an extremely narrow time limit. How would such a battle go?

During an episode with the Riddler, Batman faced a similar dilemma when he had to first fight through Riddler's henchmen on the way to rescuing Robin from a buzz saw. In that instance, Batman did NOT make it through the villains in time and it was extremely fortunate that it was not really the Boy Wonder on the table but, instead, a mannequin dressed in a Robin costume that was being cut in half by the saw.

Because of this situation, I seriously doubt that the Dynamic Duo could make it through the Cossacks to rescue Batgirl in time. Standing on the ledge around the top of the vat, Egghead and Olga would undoubtedly rush the Cossacks off to fight Batman and Robin while taking care of Batgirl themselves...by simply “dunking” (this is called the Caviar Dunk, you know) her head and holding her under.

Doing this to Batgirl would quickly finish her off. Anyone who has survived falling through ice into a frozen lake or river can tell you that the first inclination is to breathe in deeply and to continue to do so. By dunking her in the caviar and then holding her head under, Egghead and Olga will drown Batgirl almost instantly! "What a chilling way to die," indeed!

As a further complication to this scenario, Olga appears to be armed with a Cossack dagger. It doesn’t take much imagining to realize that if, despite all odds, it looked like the Dynamic Duo were going to win through to Batgirl’s rescue, the bloodthirsty Cossack Queen would undoubtedly use it to take care of Batgirl herself.

Going back again to the beginning of all this, if the villains had decided to go the fast track to eliminate Batgirl, a further point can be made that they would have also bound her feet together at the start. This would then make the whole deadly caviar dunking process go even faster. If that is the case, then I seriously doubt that Batgirl would have lasted even a minute in the caviar before going under for the last time.

Exploring other possibilities, even if the Dynamic Duo had somehow been victorious in their battle with the Cossacks after Batgirl's demise, it would have still been a very hollow victory for them. Batgirl would still be dead and the scoreboard would read: Villains one, Heroes nothing!

Yes folks, it's extremely fortunate that on this world, the villains' decision went the other way. If Egghead and Olga had decided to use the Caviar Dunk on Batgirl to begin with, she would not have been able to get out of this deadly trap on her own and would have surely perished before she could be rescued by the Caped Crusaders. Additionally, Batman and Robin might very well have perished as a direct result. Luckily for Batgirl (?) and the Dynamic Duo, the villains instead decided to take their time eliminating her by forcing her to perform the Cossack Sabre Dance which gave Batman and Robin the time they needed to find the hideout and rescue her.

Analysis: The Caviar Dunk - Another View

I was reading the analysis of the Caviar Dunk by Dancing Queen and would like to point out several factors in this particular deathtrap which were omitted in the analysis. I hate to quibble, but this particular "damsel in distress" scenario was even more diabolical than was presented in that analysis for the following reasons:

1. Batgirl had recently been K/Oed, so she wasn't in very good shape to deal with her enemies.

2. Batgirl had been forced to do the Sabre Dance until she was so physically exhausted that she couldn't stand up on her own; the Cossacks were holding her up and throwing her back and forth among them --- so even if the tank had only had warm water in it, Batgirl would have been almost too exhausted to escape --- the caviar just made it even worse.

3. The caviar was in a vat with an "agitator" in it stirring and mixing the caviar! So, when Egghead put Batgirl into the vat, she was being sucked to the bottom by the mechanical apparatus in the vat (sort of like a washing machine: they have agitators to pull the clothes down into the washtub) --- so even if Batgirl had been able to find the strength after her exhausting Sabre Dance to stand up in the caviar, she was literally being pulled into the vat by the agitation apparatus.

4. Caviar can be chilled well below freezing, 32 degrees Fahrenheit. It is an oily product which will keep very nicely at temperatures closer to 0 degrees; so the temperatures Batgirl was subjected to were not "freezing", but rather closer to "sub-zero".

5. If you've ever done any swimming, you know that a person's ability to hold their breath underwater or to swim for any distance is greatly diminished if the water temperature is below 72 degrees; a very good swimmer who could hold their breath underwater for 4 minutes if the water is warm would probably only be able to manage 2 minutes or three at the most in cold water. If Batgirl was placed into the extremely hostile environment of the below freezing cold caviar, she would be able to hold her breath for only a couple of minutes or so.

What a Chilling Way to Die!!!

Even to this day, it still sticks in my mind, "Why did I ever think caviar was some sort of quicksand?" Then I remember . . . it was because Batgirl was nearly drowned in huge vat of that disgusting slime. I can still remember that year, 1971, the year of groovy times and the year I saw in syndication the Batgirl episode entitled, "The Ogg Couple". Mind you, I was only 3 at the time, but still mesmerized and curious about for what caviar was really used. I can recall running into my mother's bedroom, agonizing over the predicament Batgirl was placed. I screamed erratically to her, "Mom, they're sinking Batgirl in the caviar!!!" She looked at me and told me that caviar was a food - fish eggs. I thought caviar was a trap according to the show. Nevertheless, the Caviar Dunk has remained a obsession of mine for the past 27 years.

The Caviar Dunk was featured as a last-minute get-away diversion so that two villains could make their escape. After the Cossack Saber Dance failed (thanks to Batman's appearance), Olga decided the only way she and Egghead could get away was to dunk Batgirl in the stolen 500 lbs of caviar, leaving her to drown.

This episode begins with the announcer, "The return of a dastardly duo and their deadly dragoons." This should allow the viewer to realize that these villains don't roll with the punches: they mean business. Egghead and Olga raid the Gotham City Museum and make off with the Silver Scimitar of Taras Bulbul and the Golden Egg of Ogg. After a couple of Batspins we see that Egghead and Olga are planning to steal 500 pounds of Royal Dehydrated Black Sea Caviar from the King of Samarkand. Egghead knows the value of the caviar and decides that it would make a great treasure, especially at $200 an ounce. Once again, the Batspin appears and we notice that Barbara Gordon is trying to make lunch plans with her father, Commissioner Gordon. He declines after he informs her of the return of the duo.

Barbara exasperates, "You mean again? They're back? That's incredible!" Later she goes back to her midtown apartment to "make her dazzling change into Batgirl."

Egghead arrives too late after Olga and the Cossacks make off with the caviar. He tries to convince the guard and the bank manager to tell him where they went. The bank manager has his guard threaten to shoot Egghead for being a part of the duo. Suddenly, out of the blue, Batgirl arrives on her Batgirlcycle. Egghead turns chicken and asks for Batgirl to shield him from the guard. She only promises to help if he takes her to his hideaway. He finally gives in after Batgirl convinces him due to the "language spoken by that guard's gun."

When they arrive at the hideout, Batgirl warns Egghead, "We're going in there, Egghead, and no tricks!" After Egghead makes his announcement to Olga, Batgirl arrives at another door (HA, the bald dope has the tables turned on him!!!). Batgirl surprises everyone, "Looks like the ambush is on the other foot now, Egghead!"

She does a fantastic job of rolling a canister of emptied caviar at the Cossacks and does some really great moves spinning and kicking them. She is in control of the situation until that bitch Olga pulls a dirty, slimy, rotten trick. She jumps up on the vat of caviar and with both her hands throws it onto the floor. Batgirl loses her balance after slipping on the glop. She falls and hits her head which knocks her unconscious. The Batspin appears and she performs the Cossack Saber Dance.

Batman and Robin arrive in order to create a diversion from the deadly dance. Batgirl moves away from the fighting to safety (or is she really safe?). She is watching and, from her cheering, "Give them one for me, Batman!" you know that she is jealous she isn't a partner in the BatFight.

Olga who is caught off guard by the sound of Batgirl's voice, hits Egghead for hiding under her dress. She angrily disciplines him, "Eggski, out from under there!"

Egghead agonizes, "But, I might be hurt, Olga!"

Olga returns with her anger by grabbing him on the ear, "You come with me, my little mousenik!" Olga orders Egghead to grab Batgirl and take her immediately to the vat of caviar. Olga triumphantly announces her plans for Batgirl, "We are drowning her in caviar!" Egghead locks Batgirl against the vat while he gets up on the ladder. Olga is extra victorious and ever revengeful, "Da da, da . . . drowning her in caviar!!" Horrible! Egghead immediately and clumsily dunks the bound, helpless Batgirl in the frozen grave. Egghead also pushes her body forward in the caviar to speed up the drowning process. (This scene made me tearful, because I felt that it wasn't fair that Batgirl was bound and she had two against one. It made me so furious that I wanted to kill Olga with my bare hands when I was a child!)

After the villains make their exit, Batgirl is desperate for assistance and she must scream to Batman to help her, "Help, Batman! I'm drowning! . . . I'm also freezing!" Batgirl is so brave as she fights to her last breath against the possible suffocation and extreme brittle cold, before she is suffocated, frozen or perhaps crushed due to the vat of slime.

Batman and Robin rescue Batgirl and help her out of the vat. After she thanks Batman, she says a line that made me giggle. She compares her near-death to that of being tossed like a celery stick inside a bowl of caviar. She breathlessly spouts,"They almost turned me into a human hors d'oeuvre. What a chilling way to die!" I had much empathy for Batgirl in this trap because I would probably kill myself after being dunked in so much, UGH! caviar.

This is my all-time favorite Batgirl Bat-Trap because of its fatality rate and of its originality. This is also one of the most convincing traps in that it would lead to death in a matter of minutes. Think about the smell alone while being drowned in this disgusting delicacy. The caviar was heavy as well as frozen. The name Olga became a bad word in my vocabulary when I was younger. Now you know why. I actually tormented girls named Olga because of the character Anne Baxter portrayed!

Let's get to the ratings, after being exhausted:

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