Ah yes, Catwoman's Pattern Cutter peril that Batgirl faced. A variation of the old heroine tied to a log in a saw mill gag. This was one of the more interesting perils that Batgirl endured because we got to see how she was placed in jeopardy right from the start. Let's look at the setup and planning behind this one.
In this peril, the victim is tied up and placed on their back longitudinally in the path of some sort of spinning buzz saw or jig-saw. The power is turned on and the victim is left to be cut in half right down the middle. Nothing too terribly difficult or imaginative about this one, it's all pretty straightforward.
The psychological stresses placed on Batgirl during this one are interesting. Batgirl can see the spinning blade moving closer and closer as she struggle against her restraints. As the blade creeps nearer, she is probably wondering how painful it's going to feel when the blade reaches her and begins cutting. She is gagged during this whole affair so she can only issue muffled outcries. This undoubtedly adds to her feelings of desperation because if someone unaffiliated with Catwoman's gang happens to be nearby, she still may end up dead because she can't attract attention to her plight with screams for help.
In contrast to perils like the Cossack Saber Dance, Batgirl is in full charge of her mental faculties with this one right up until the gruesome ending. She can fully anticipate in her mind all the pain and agony she will experience when the blade reaches her and starts cutting her in half.
Of particular note on this one is that Batgirl is actually left with two choices on how she wants to die. Batgirl was strapped down with only two seatbelt type straps and could twist around a bit, actually having quite a bit of play in her restraint. Because of this play in her restraints, she could have chosen one of the following two ways to die. She could have chosen to either:
This one starts when Catwoman captures Batgirl by spraying some kind of catnap spray in her face and then abducts her. By the time Batman and Robin enter the ladies locker room, Catwoman is long gone with her prize.
The action picks up again with the camera centered on Batgirl in Catwoman's hideout. She is shown seated and tied up in a not very believable position. Her hands are bound together in front of her and a short length of rope runs from her wrists to her bound ankles. Rather than pulling against the ropes and making them tighter as she is seen doing, Batgirl should have simply reached down to her ankles and untied them (nobody is shown guarding her or paying her much attention). Since Batgirl used kicks as her primary weapon, once her feet were free, she could have simply stood up and started kicking her captors. This scene would have looked more realistic if they had used wrist and ankle shackles with a chain running between them.
At any rate, the camera swings to Catwoman where we learn that she plans to use Batgirl as a pawn in her game with Batman by making him choose between saving Batgirl's life or letting the Belgravian Golden Fleece be stolen to cause an international incident.
Batgirl, who has heard the whole thing, spouts off in typical heroine fashion about how Batman won't come to rescue her but will try to foil Catwoman's crime instead. Enraged, Catwoman orders her henchman to gag Batgirl. After Batgirl is gagged, Catwoman then orders the other henchman to set up the pattern cutter.
The look Batgirl gets on her face is priceless as she sees the pattern cutter being set up before her. She is probably realizing what a big mouth she has and is wishing she hadn't said the things she said.
Next, Catwoman orders one of her men to pick up Batgirl to "Angora, get her ready for the grand opening." Batgirl is shown struggling uselessly as Catwoman's henchman effortlessly picks her up. Batgirl is cradled in Angora's arms as Catwoman moves in closer and tells the gagged crimefighter, "Yes, my dear, you will make a perrrrfect pinafore: the type of garment no one will recognize you in or as . . . (evil laugh) . . . if you should pardon a final cutting remark."
From there, Batgirl is shown being carried to the pattern cutter table and strapped down, struggling all the time. In the background, Catwoman is shown laughing evilly as the henchman goes about the business of securing Batgirl to the table in front of the saw blade.
I have a real problem with the choice of saws they used here. Catwoman's choice of the word 'pinafore' plus the whole garment theme throughout this episode dictate that a rotating buzz saw is a poor choice of a blade to use to carve garment sections from a template. A rotating saw simply cannot make the sharp turns necessary to cut garment sections from stacks of cloth. A jig-saw would have been a much better device to use for this. Compare the rotating buzz saw with the saw used in the panels from the comic book Pattern Cutter peril. On those pix, they use a vertical saw blade with a brass template to cut clothing designs.
Despite what Catwoman says, all the evidence shown on the screen indicates that Batgirl is to be sawed in half, not cut into a "perfect pinafore." I suppose Catwoman was speaking metaphorically. At any rate, the scene fades out with Batgirl struggling as she is being strapped down.
The next scene is of Batman and Robin in the Batcave wondering about Batgirl's fate. They suddenly realize that the Belgravian Golden Fleece must be what Catwoman is after and rush off to police headquarters.
The following scene picks up with Batgirl strapped to the table with Catwoman standing over her, telling her she has 20 minutes to live once the pattern cutter starts. Catwoman then orders the cutter activated and we can see Batgirl struggling frantically as she sees the blade start moving toward her.
Next Catwoman calls police headquarters where Batman has arrived. Catwoman boldly tells Batman where to find her hideout and then adds that "a steel pattern cutter is just going to work on Batgirl." With only 20 minutes to rescue Batgirl, Batman must decide whether to rescue Batgirl or allow Catwoman to steal the Golden Fleece.
I have several tremendous problems with these last scenes. For one thing, the time elements are all wrong. Once Batgirl is strapped down and then the scene comes back to her when the cutter is started up, the time between scenes has to be at least 20 minutes. Why? It took Batman and Robin at least that long to arrive at police headquarters from the Batcave and we later find that Wayne Manor is near Catwoman's hideout. What were the villains doing to Batgirl during that time period?
Another problem I have is with the nature of the duel dilemma that Batman is facing. The logical course of action would be to alert Belgravian embassy security forces that a threat to both their Queen and one of their national treasures is imminent. Even if Belgravia and the U.S. are not on good diplomatic relations (Batman says they may declare war over the incident), security forces should take the threat seriously and close the embassy to all visitors. The GCPD (if they're not too incompetent) should then be mobilized in a cordon around the embassy to prevent Catwoman and her men from entering or to prevent their escape if they have somehow managed to find their way inside already. This would then free up Batman and Robin to go to Batgirl's rescue.
A decision not to send GCPD units to Batgirl's rescue is perhaps understandable. The cat lair is undoubtedly rigged with all kinds of pitfalls and traps to ensnare unwary intruders like regular police officers. Alfred is actually a good choice to send to the rescue because he is very familiar with Catwoman's modus operandi (for obvious reasons) and undoubtedly has a better chance of reaching Batgirl through a maze of traps. Of course, sending him to Batgirl's rescue is taking a big chance on Batman's part as he states when he tells Alfred to wear a disguise for the rescue.
Again there is a time problem here. Alfred has to come up with a disguise to wear (taking maybe 10 minutes to create one and put it on) and then he has to go to the hideout, get inside past cat traps, and still have time to rescue Batgirl, all within 20 minutes. Could 32 Pussyfoot Road be right around the corner from Wayne Manor?
An even more obvious solution would be to send Robin to rescue Batgirl. In the previous story (the Londinium Larcenies trilogy) it was established that the Boy Wonder now had his driver's license. If the Bat-Cycle was unavailable, surely Commissioner Gordon, Chief O'Hara or some police person could have given the half of the Dynamic Duo not using the Batmobile a ride or a vehicle to borrow. I imagine this was supposed to be part of the camp humor in the episode, but it was a weak joke indeed.
Another problem I have here is that the Dynamic Duo assumes Catwoman is being completely forthright during this whole affair with the time limit and address she gives. Batman said in The Ogg Couple, episode that, "the concept of decency is alien to the criminal mind." To my way of thinking truthfulness, honesty, and a willingness to commit murder fall under this decency heading. Catwoman could have increased her chances of being more successful by doing any of the following. She could have:
At any rate, Batgirl is shown gagged and struggling on the cutting table while Batman contacts Alfred on the Batphone to set up the rescue. The scene then cuts to the embassy where Catwoman catnap sprays Queen Bess and her guards into unconsciousness.
When the scene switches back onto Batgirl, we find the pattern cutter blade spinning inches from Batgirl's head. It is continuing to advance and Batgirl is shown struggling desperately to somehow get free. Batgirl is undoubtedly wishing she was elsewhere at the moment and is probably wishing she hadn't decided to fight crime as Batgirl today. We can see that there are only seconds left before the blade starts cutting and it looks like our heroine has finally run out of luck.
Suddenly, Alfred (disguised as a hippie) rushes in and turns off the power. Batgirl has been saved from certain doom by the janitor of the building (Alfred in disguise). When she is released, Batgirl observes how the old man looks familiar and gets a far-out, wild tale about Boy Scout dropouts and oldest living hippie from the old geezer. Batgirl is so grateful to be alive that she doesn't examine the story too closely and then sets out for the embassy to help foil Catwoman's plot.
Going a little further, we see another impossibility when Batgirl shows up at the embassy (her Batgirlcycle was left at the fashion showroom) just in time to help the Caped Crusaders defeat Catwoman and her men. Now let's look at a few things that could have been done differently by Catwoman in this bat-trap.
Catwoman should have blocked Batgirl's head in place so she couldn't twist about and avoid the blade cutting into her head. Face it folks, if you're going to go to all the trouble to cut Batgirl in half, you should at least want to have two mirror images when you're through. The hands behind the back would have to go as well. They'll be cut off when the blade reaches them and neatness counts for that mirror image thing we are striving for.
Another thing we should be striving for here is pain and suffering (remember that decency issue). If the blade cuts into Batgirl's head, she is killed almost immediately. Not much chance to make the moment last that way.
To get around these two problems, the logical course of action would have been to have Batgirl strapped down spread-eagle with her head blocked in place. Then the blade would have been setup and started from the other end like the laser-beam thing from the 007 movie. With a setup like this, Batgirl would have been able to remain alive right up until the blade reached her heart since there are no organs or arteries in the way that would cause immediate death if they are severed (again please excuse the gory details). With a setup like this, we get maximum pain and suffering for the time and equipment invested in the bat-trap. Now lets rate this peril.
Given that this trap proceeds along the lines in the show with the blade set up to cut into Batgirl'shead (implied), the ratings have to go as follows:
In the physical torment area, this gets a 0 before the cutting but rises immediately to a 10 once the cutting begins. Of course, it drops right back down to a 0 again due to the instantaneous nature of Batgirl's death.
For mental torment, before the cutting begins, this deserves an 8. Batgirl can see the blade inching closer and closer and knows what it will do to her. Once the blade reaches her and just starts cutting into her, the number jumps up to 10.
Duration also has to be split. The villains predetermine the amount of time spent waiting for the blade to reach Batgirl in their setup. Because of this, the first half cannot really receive a grade. How do you decide if 20 minutes of waiting to die is enough to inflict on our heroine? Once the pattern cutter reaches Batgirl, however, the trap receives a big, fat 0. This trap kills instantly and there is no way to draw out the death.
Fatality receives a perfect 10. Once the pattern cutter reaches Batgirl and starts cutting, death is almost instantaneous.
This particular version of the old sawmill gag gets a low score for realism, only a 4. Batgirl was lying on her back with her hands behind her (they were not tied). She should have at least been able to get a hand free to release the straps. If they had actually tied her hands behind her back, this would have received an 8 or 9.
Ease of escape gets low marks as well. For the above stated reasons, this bat-trap earns only a 4.
Sensuality is very difficult to grade on this one. Once Batgirl is strapped down and the patter cutter begins moving, Batgirl is shown wiggling and struggling as the spinning blade moves closer and closer. Unfortunately, the scenes of her struggles are all too brief and they could have highlighted her struggles better with some extra camera angles. Some additional scenes shot from directly overhead or from overhead looking down from an angle below her feet would have helped. The fact that her head is not blocked in place actually helps this peril by allowing her struggles to be more visible and allows this trap to receive a higher grade. It earns a 6 in my book, due mainly to it's brevity and camera angles.
As a final note on bat-traps, this is by far the messiest ending they ever came up with for her to face on the show. Just thinking of this one succeeding, brings to mind visions of a meat locker in a slaughterhouse and gives me the willies thinking about it. Even the implied ending of the Cossack Sabre Dance doesn't approach the level of gore this one will produce if it succeeds. Fortunately for us though, Batgirl escaped and lived to fight crime another day.